Blogger: Wendy Lawton
We expend many words encouraging writers to build their social media platform, develop a Facebook following, Twitter appropriately, explore Pinterest, Goodreads and many other online media. You’re supposed to have a knockout website and maybe even a go-to blog. If you’re a professional you need to be active on your professional forums and stay Linked-in. You may Skype with family and friends. And don’t forget your family’s Facebook interaction. Your kids are texting you more than talking to you these days and your spouse may even be sending love notes via Twitter direct or text. And top of all that you’re expected to read blogs in your field, commenting on them to remain an active part of the community. There’s more to read than there are hours in a day. Even if you did nothing but social media you couldn’t possibly fit it all in. And we haven’t even talked about the hundreds of emails in your inbox.
We are victims of digital overload.
The NY Times reported on a fascinating British study published in late March by the Millennium Cohort Study that looked at nearly 20,000 children, following them since their birth in 2000 or 2001. The study found that children who watched television, videos or DVDs three hours a day were displaying a much higher chance of behavioral problems by the time they were seven. Dr. Keith Ablow believes it is because when a device is substituted for human contact we become disconnected. Upwards of 90% of communication is nonverbal according to Ablow. The child needs to learn to read faces, to catch voice inflection, to interact with people and see their reactions. As writers, we do too.
It’s easy to surmise why media-savvy kids are often awkward socially. The study found that children’s brains are actually being rewired by this substitute for human interaction. There is a pronounced neurological impact. The study only looked at children but we could probably safely extrapolate the data and apply it to adults as well. Even more specifically, to writers.
I think we need to budget our time spent online and with devices. I’ve tried to be intentional about spending time face-to-face with people. I admire those families who collect all devices at the start of dinner, shut them all down and deposit them in a basket. Who says we need to be available to everyone, all the time? When I go to a writer’s conference or a meeting, my out of office memo says that I will have limited access to email and phone. That’s on purpose. I need to be present to those I am with.
We’ve got to stop buckling under the pressure of being available 24/7. Or the expectation that we will answer a question within minutes or hours. Sometimes we simply need to be still.
When we are unplugged:
- Ideas have room to grow out of our imagination.
- We can savor the people and the setting around us.
- We can listen for real-life dialogue instead of finding that non-words like “lol” are creeping into our writing and dialogue.
- We can people watch, catching all the non-verbal, non-digital richness of interaction.
- We can move other parts of our bodies besides fingers and eyeballs.
- As a writer, you can actually write, instead of blogging, texting and messaging about writing.
- As an agent, I can have the white space I need to think deeply and creatively about a client’s career. To dream. To pray for each one.
- As a child of God, I can listen to Him as He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;” (Psalm 46:10)
I’m not saying we don’t need to be engaged online. We do. What I’m saying is that we need balance. There’s a time to Facebook and a time to be face-to-face. There’s a time to Twitter and a time to send a love note written with a pen on paper. There’s a time to be Linked-in and a time to pull away. A time to blog and a time to be a listening ear. A time to Skype and a time to get on a plane and be within a hug’s breadth of those we love. There’s a time for television and a time for nothing more than swapping stories around the dinner table. There’s a time for staying on top of every email and a time to connect with people in our community.
I’m just saying. . .
How about you. Is this a problem we share? Have you found some ways to address this? Got any tips for us?
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Unplugged-the best kind of music! We have a decent sized back yard with woods. I got to a point with one of the boys that I tied a bell on his little shoe so I’d know where he was. Once the weather is warm, my kids are outside. I don’t have to force them, which is great. I do alot more laundry, but that’s okay, mud is just mud. To hear them making up games is a riot. When we’re away at camp (Ontario Camp for the Deaf) we don’t even have to worry about them making noise.
Our kids learned from us that active playing is fun, and that handheld games are for when down time is needed. Or in the van on a road trip. And that disconnecting from the world is soooo beneficial!
I love Emerson’s poem…
THINK me not unkind and rude
That I walk alone in grove and glen;
I go to the god of the wood
To fetch his word to men.
Tax not my sloth that I
Fold my arms beside the brook;
Each cloud that floated in the sky
Writes a letter in my book.
Chide me not, laborious band,
For the idle flowers I brought; 10
Every aster in my hand
Goes home loaded with a thought.
There was never mystery
But ’tis figured in the flowers;
Was never secret history 15
But birds tell it in the bowers.
One harvest from thy field
Homeward brought the oxen strong;
A second crop thine acres yield,
Which I gather in a song.
Ahhh. Love that poem.
Thank you for that gift this morning, Jennifer. Just letting those words wash over us is a treat in itself even if the day leaves no room for bowers, grove or glen.
Dear Wendy: I am a bit of a timer junky. As in egg timers. I use them for everything.
For things I don’t want to do (ironing-I set the timer and iron for 45 minutes) or things I think are fun to do (email, face book etc).
I save time for the things I have to do and love to. But I will time those too just to get them in.
It is very easy to lose an afternoon or day. What ever your project or dream or goal—keep your eye on it. And that includes not lets friends squander your time.
Your dreams and goals deserve better than your leftover tired time.
Jacqueline Gillam Fairchild
Her Majesty’s English Tea Room at Fairchild’s Facebook
Reading makes my soul smile. While my hubby watches TV, I catch up on my magazine reading. As a mom, I struggle to find a good balance of plugged/unplugged with my kids. They aren’t five anymore!
I hate to admit this, but, in general, kids are more plugged in because it’s easier on the parents. When they’re engaged in a videogame or Facebook or even a television show, they aren’t fighting, bouncing off the walls, or complaining about boredom!
My husband and I aren’t afraid to turn everything off and encourage them to get creative and find something else to do, but some days we’re better about it than others. 🙂
On weekends and at night, I limit the amount of time I spend online too.
I love your honesty, Jill. And I understand. When I was parenting little ones, I’ll admit to turning on Sesame Street and plunking the kids in front of the TV just to have a little respite.
One thing we encouraged was alone time in their bedrooms. I’m so glad we did. Besides reading, my eldest fell in love with music in her quiet times. She used to play flute and oboe to beloved Disney tunes for hours. Music has remained at the center of her life. If we’d filled every moment of her life or if she’d had the use of TV or devices in her room she wouldn’t have this. My girls are comfortable with being alone and being still. My son, well. . .
It’s funny, but my eldest son isn’t one to stay by himself well. He needs plenty going on around him, plenty of interaction. Maybe that’s your son’s MO, too? (In fact if you wanted to give him time to “think things over,” just put him in a room by himself for a short bit….) But I not only crave “quiet” time, I’ve had so little of it over the last 17 years (well, more.) And if my husband is home, he constantly engages me and plays TV, music, etc.
But I adore my quiet time. I could use just a little more of that. I think that’s what would help. Great post. Spot on.
“When they’re engaged in a videogame or Facebook or even a television show, they aren’t fighting, bouncing off the walls, or complaining about boredom!”
I understand and totally sympathize with this, Jill. I try to feel better about it by making sure I am in the room with them. We still manage to converse, even when some of what they say is, “Aw Mom, you made me die,” because I’ve distracted them. 🙂
Wendy, you bring up some great points. I’ve learned about the study that shows how the brain is re-wired with a lot of exposure to screens and games and whatnot. We haven’t introduced DS’s or any other electronic devices to our boys yet. Our kids are working on specific things which enable them to earn some computer game time on the weekends, but it’s pretty minimal, relatively speaking (just don’t tell them that!) I just purchased my first iPod in February, and I plan to let them use it, sometimes, on long trips (like when we travel to Hawaii to visit family).
Since I began writing I find I’m on the computer a lot more than I used to be. I am challenged to keep my screen time in balance. Dinner time is a no-brainer. We try to eat together as a family as often as possible.
I have limited how many forms of social media I’m engaged with. I have trouble keeping up with the blogs I like to read and updating Facebook and Twitter (I don’t do this often enough). I have begun setting a timer, and when it goes off, I’m done with social media time. I work on my writing as much as I can during the day, when hubby and kids are at work and school. I do usually polish up my blog posts at night. My hubby takes care of the kids some nights so I can have a little me time, for writing or getting blogs posted. It’s not the best balance right now, but we’re working on it.
I’m going to schedule things differently next school year to open up more time in the day to write, so our evenings can be more flexible.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who struggles with this issue. 🙂
Oops, sorry this was so long!
It’s okay, Jeanne! It was very insightful! (I’m guilty of writing a long one last week. Sometimes we just have a lot to say.) 😉
If it is written well, who cares about how many words it contains?
If that is a problem, after all, what does one do with all those great Russian novels, eh? 🙂
Though I would suggest instead of the DS, consider the SNES. It has many family-friendly multiplayer games, and is considerably cheaper.
Thanks Morgan. 🙂 I guess I got on my soapbox for a minute. 🙂
Larry, what’s SNES? I’ve never heard of it. I’ll have to look into it. Thanks for the mention.
SNES stands for “Super Nintendo Entertainment System.”
It is widely regarded as one of, if not the, best videogaming system due to it’s durability, library of available videogame software, historical innovations, and for the quality of its soundchip.
The general price is around fifty dollars for the console, and are widely available on ebay, Amazon, or a local specialty used gamestore.
The software library includes many titles which are regarded as the best games not only of their particular franchise or genre, but of all videogaming software.
It is also notable for its multiplayer games, which are not limited to one particular genre, but instead range from sports, to action-adventure, to racing, to platformers, to role playing games, and a wide variety of other genres.
Besides the gameplay of the software itself, many titles are renowned for other attributes such as sound design and art design.
Above all, the console and its software library are notable for their “fun factor”, and for the family-friendly (but in no way boring) accessibility and content, which when one considers how the top-selling games of the modern era often revolve around content and themes more suitable for R-rated movies, makes it an excellent choice for those who find the modern videogame industry and its focus on violence and sex to be somewhat unsettling.
Don’t apologize for it being long– it’s rich with ideas.
Isn’t it sad to realize that you are in the minority when it comes to intentionally having a meal together. How will kids ever be socialized without the input of eating together? How do we pass on traditions and help kids learn conversation skills unless we give them a place to practice those skills?
(Yikes! I’m beginning to sound like an old timer, wishing for the olden days.)
Wendy, I don’t think of you as an old timer. 🙂 I guess if you, my hubby and I are too. 🙂 Yes, practicing conversation skills, and mannerly eating. Always a challenge with boys. At least my guys love to talk. 🙂 Our meals aren’t silent. Then again, they haven’t hit the teen years yet.
This is great information for everyone, especially parents. This past year I worked with a client who has a book coming out dealing with this exact topic and how to unplug from devices and engage in meaningful connections with your family. It contains practical ways to do so, and I pray it really helps families reconnect. The statistic that 90% of communication is nonverbal is astounding! That makes me really think about how I am parenting. Psalm 46:10 is my favorite verse–God truly wants us to be still and know Him. The busier I find myself, the more I want to get alone with Him and His Word. This post is a great reminder, both personally and professionally!
Sounds like a great book. I hope it is challenging and engaging enough that those who haven’t counted the cost of living online will consider trying a new paradigm.
I recently got my first iPhone. With my job, I do a lot of waiting. I’m so glad to now use that time to tweet, check Facebook and email and read blogs.
Though helpful, I’m already catching myself checking these things when I could be embarking on one of my favorite pastimes–talking to strangers.
Not only do I learn new things, but I also may miss a blessing and a way for God to use me if I am not available (unplugged) in these moments.
Yesterday at a softball game, I was taking pictures from the opponent side beside a lady keeping score. In between innings, I was checking email and such and then I just felt the strong urge to talk to her.
I’m thankful to say I pocketed the phone and did so. It turns out that we know a lot of the same people from her church, which just happens to be the only church I’ve ever visited in her large city. So we got to share some fellowship between believers and it was a blessing I would have missed if I didn’t unplug.
It’s definitely tough, Wendy, but I do need to be more intentional with my time whether it’s online or not. Thanks for the reminder! 🙂
I LOVE talking to strangers (most of the time). Have you seen the movie Harvey with Jimmy Stewart? He plays Elwood P. Dowd and he’s forever meeting people and inviting them home to dinner. I often have the same urge . . .
What a great movie, Sarah! I own it. 🙂 I’m glad you love to talk to strangers too.
I love how you defined unplugged as available.
I’m guilty of being unavailable while waiting– interacting with my screen instead of with real people. I’m one of those who has always been uncomfortable talking with strangers– shy about it– but I used to often just engage people with a smile. I’ll bet I smile-connect a lot less these days.
Thanks, Wendy. 🙂
It is being available, isn’t it. We will all have keep encouraging each other to unplug/disengage and be more available to those in our lives and those around us. We don’t want to miss a blessing or miss being a blessing.
I talk to strangers too. 🙂 I got an iPod a couple months ago, but I have deliberately not tried out any of the games on it. I don’t want to get hooked. 🙂 It’s hard for me to resist the lure of the screen sometimes
I know, Jeanne!
The “lure of the screen” is a great way to put it. It’s like this light beckoning us to higher productivity – because that’s what life’s all about, right? We know better. 🙂
This is a great post. I got an iPhone a year ago and I find I must be careful. It is so easy to get caught up in something during down time. And as a stay at home mom of three I have down time at parks, libraries, etc. It is crazy, time I used to spend chatting other other moms or even playing and watching at my child do a “watch this mom” for the third time, now was being stolen as I wiped out my phone to check a few things. Email, Facebook, blogs, response to blogs, responses to my responses on blogs, the list is never ending.
It changed as I sat in a play area one day and glanced around at the other moms. Every one was looking at her phone. Not one was interacting with their child. Wow, is that how I want my kid to grow up? To remember mom that way?
I didn’t mean to end that so abruptly. My finger slipped on my iPhone. But thanks again for the post and the reminder.
Yep, it takes being intentional since whats online– our friends and funny stuff and books and– can be so enticing.
BTW, Tari, I read your sister is coming home from Burundi for a brief visit. Hug her for me.
When my daughter was younger I started a mom’s group in my neighborhood by leaving tear off flyers on the community mailboxes and using a website for a community group. It was a scary step because I didn’t know if anyone would show up to the first planned play date at the park. Although the internet helped the group get off the ground, meeting in person became our goal, and that’s what really enhanced our friendships.
I love that, Jenni! Good for you for initiating face time–in person. 🙂
Thank you for speaking the truth, Wendy.
Lately, there’s been a lot of talk about overload, balance, and social media saturation. As writers, it’s necessary to be online to some degree, but I found I’ve stepped back a bit to concentrate more on what my job is in the first place–writing. (Jody Hedlund offers some great insights today on this very topic: http://jodyhedlund.blogspot.com/2013/04/the-modern-authors-main-job.html)
Our family always eats meals together. No T.V. in the kitchen. No phones, iPods, computers allowed. We actually TALK about our day–without the distraction of unnecessary “noise.”
I love your scripture from Psalms. Needed that one today!
Thanks for pointing us to Jody’s blog. Excellent. Finding that middle ground is the key.
I’m soooo guilty of this. I’ve realized how rude it is to check my texts or emails when talking with someone, but it took someone else doing it to me for me to see it. I’m so with you…have to be careful to be fully engaged with I’m with someone instead of off in the blogosphere or facebook universe. I think we feel like we don’t want to miss out on anything–and yet, the ironic thing is, we are. We’re missing out sometimes on real life, happening right in front of us.
I’m just as guilty. I’ve found myself experiencing a wonderful meal or doing something unusual and instead of enjoying every piece of the experience I’m thinking of how to frame it for Facebook.
I know what you mean, Lindsay. A part of me is glad I still have an old-fashioned cell phone because it’s far more inconvenient to connect and do things on line. I guess I’ll have to develop more self-discipline when I actually move up to a smart phone. 🙂
“When we are unplugged… As a writer, you can actually write, instead of blogging, texting and messaging about writing.”
So here I am, on spring break, reading your blog instead of working on my manuscript or cleaning out the basement LOL.
Wendy, you brought up a valid point about the organized writer. I love blogging about time management, deriving from my IT background, but inherently I have to remember that 7th day of rest. There is a time to work, a time to write, a time to pause, a time to rest.
It’s a burden for me to hear that 21st century authors — especially midlist ones — are expected to build their own platforms, readership, brands, and stuff that I thought the publisher’s sales/marketing dept used to do in the last century. Frankly, I’d rather be writing, but I have to keep up with social media. That 10-20% of my writing time.
Enter the kitchen timer. I started out giving myself 99 minutes a few times a week to keep up with social media, but I’m cutting that back to 30-60 minutes each session. I’m buying a real hourglass for Mother’s Day. It’s 60 minutes do or die.
Thank you for a sobering reminder. This is the best benefit of being unplugged, which you put it well: “As a child of God, I can listen to Him as He says, ‘Be still, and know that I am God;’ (Psalm 46:10).”
“When we are unplugged… As a writer, you can actually write, instead of blogging, texting and messaging about writing.”
And as an agent, when I’m unplugged I can actually work on contracts, prepare proposals and get them sent, read manuscripts and books, etc. I need to fight to be the organized agent so I feel your pain.
I think that being organized is something that all writers need to be if they want to be published, whether they are are plotters or pantsers. Case in point: on my Facebook fan page, I posted a link to your blog today, and in 2 hours, FB told me that 34 people saw the post going to your link. I hope there is a good click-through rate, but the point is that being unplugged is needed advice, so thank you for the timely blog, Wendy.
As a new writer and hopefully one day a client to a fantastic agent/nee/publisher..I am being encouraged to improve my website, start a blog, learn about blogging, comment on every conceivable blogsite that will accept my Google password, learn about twitter, attend conferences, continue one on one mentoring, show up at critique class, support other writers on their launch teams, and…oh yes… keep writing. Though each is vastly important to build one’s social media platform, where is there time left to be just me? No little kids at home now, but a hubby and oh so many furry friends to tend.. Well, I’ve always said, the key to success is to find a balance in everything you do, from eating ice cream to social media. Guess I have to find the key… now where DID I put that thing…
Agree about balance! I decided that since I’m unpublished and have little time to manage social media, that I’d stick to just these platforms — website, Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest. All else can wait their turn… after I get agented/published 🙂
I loved this paragraph:
“There’s a time to Facebook and a time to be face-to-face. There’s a time to Twitter and a time to send a love note written with a pen on paper. There’s a time to be Linked-in and a time to pull away. A time to blog and a time to be a listening ear. A time to Skype and a time to get on a plane and be within a hug’s breadth of those we love. There’s a time for television and a time for nothing more than swapping stories around the dinner table. There’s a time for staying on top of every email and a time to connect with people in our community.”
I kep thinking that it should be set to music like “Turn! Turn! Turn!” or it should be the new mantra based on the Book of Ecclesiastes.
That beloved portion in Ecclesiastes is all about balance– that elusive state we long for.
Though I guess there is another aspect, which some here have discussed, which is that if one lives in the boondocks, social media is the best way to communicate with other writers, get involved in the industry in whatever form (even if it is just blogging or starting a Twitter group of fellow writers), etcetera.
And are there not writers who we would all like to see embrace social media (Harper Lee, anyone?)
Of course, personally I find social media to be a troll pit, where the Internet itself somehow seems to collect the more dubious members of society who would otherwise sit beneath their bridges and in their basements, so I am certainly not one to say anything against getting away from it all! 🙂
Your are right, Larry. I wouldn’t give up the positive aspects of social media. I mean you can see how committed we at Books & Such are to being online by our commitment to blog and interact five days a week.
It’s that balance thing.
An article I read recently about improving posture included the best posture for texting. My how times have changed.
When we lift our eyes to the hills or to the faces of others around us a cornucopia of story ideas unravel in ever widening circles. I hike with a friend on a weekly basis so I get to gaze at the hills and her lovely face while we huff, puff and fellowship with each other.
You’ve hit upon one of the out-of-balance areas of my life, Jenni. I used to do a three-mile walk with my husband early every morning through a wildlife refuge near our home. “Used to” being the operant word.
I need to reinstate that ritual. I know I think clearer and have more energy when I do that first.
I know the wildlife refuge you speak of and I know that escaping to it would buoy you above the media waves. 🙂
Wonderful blog. Thanks so much for writing this!
Of course there’s something a little weird about writing an online blog about being unplugged from social media. 🙂 I’m not unaware of the irony.
Wendy, you are so right about digital overload. I sometimes think I should give up before I even get started. I do have a day job and it is hard to fit in all the social media I am supposed to be involved with in order to be an active writer. I feel like I am drowning!
I feel your pain. Just as in anything else, we need to pick and choose. To find the places that are most effective in helping us meet our writing goals.
Amen, Wendy. I’m currently on a blogging sabbatical for many reasons, one of which is that it was taking too much time from my family. (Visiting this blog is the one exception in my week.) My son was starting to have behavioral issues, and the more I prayed about it, I knew I was partly to blame. As I’ve been intentional to increase facetime with my family instead of my computer screen, I’ve seen a 180 in my son. He’s truly a different kid, and our relationship is something I would have only dreamed of before. No question, I’d trade in good blog stats for children who know that I love them and who love the Lord.
I applaud you, Sarah. The world tells us that we have a right to our own lives and at the same time we have our family looking at us with needy eyes. You’ve chosen well!
Amen, amen! Oh yes, and AMEN!!!
F.Y.I. When I try to tweet the second link, this is what I get: This summer consider Colorado Dude Ranch Vacations @blackmtnranch : http://blackmtnranch.com
Yikes. I will fix!
I’m sure you’ve seen the commercial in which a man asks a group of children whether it’s better to do two things at once or one. They scream, “Two! Two!” Who says two is better? And, while I’m on that subject, faster is not always better than slower. Or maybe I’m living in the 19th century world of my novel!
I agree. I think multi-tasking is a myth. I want to be fully present to those around me or to the task at hand.
Those statistics are scary. I think I’ll share links to this post on Facebook and Twitter and… Now wait a minute! I’m doing it too, aren’t I?
We can’t help ourselves, can we? I guess we have to pick and choose.
As someone who grew up without all these devices, I use my cell phone mostly for emergencies. My Kindle Fire is used 98% of the time as a reading device. It’s my kids who use the Netflix App (though I have to admit I like the Bible App).
One of the things that aggravates me is when the devices are brought out to dinner. It’s nice when you’re on vacation and you want to take a picture of something you might not see again, but when my husband and two girls all have a device in their hands, it makes me wonder why we decided to go out as a family in the first place. I don’t want to talk to the top of their heads.
I feel I must lead by example by not being plugged in all the time.
I wonder if anyone talks about device etiquette these days? Wouldn’t it be a fun class assignment for kids to come up with a handbook for polite e-engagement? (It would probably be a stitch to read.)
Loved this! What an important reminder for all of us to find balance. And so refreshing to hear from the writing community not a prod to participate in yet another social media, but to use our time wisely. Thank you!
You are welcome, Sharla. Writing this blog was a prod for me as well.
There is no wifi or cell service where I live. Until recently, satellite was the only internet we could get.
I don’t have a cell phone. I don’t have an eReader. I don’t have a tablet. We don’t even have TV.
It’s important for people to realize that you only experience life when you’re unplugged. Otherwise, you’re just watching.
Wise words. Isn’t it funny how our definitions have even changed? Ask someone how many “friends” they have. You might get a number in the hundreds because he or she is thinking Facebook friends.
I loved reading this and all the comments. I try to unplug a little everyday, especially to give my kids my full attention. Also, to let in that still small voice of God 🙂
And sometimes, if we keep ignoring that still small voice, it becomes one we can’t ignore. 🙂
Wendy,
Have you been eavesdropping in my office lately? I tell parents daily about the dangers of “too much screen time” for their child’s developing brain! All the various screens (tv, dvd, computer, video games, cell phones, e-readers, and tablets) are “training” our kids’ brains to require stimulation in order to pay attention…but then they go into the classroom and their teachers aren’t standing on their heads, much less doing laser shows to teach, so the students have trouble sustaining their attention.
We limit “screens” in our house in several ways: during mealtimes, all screens are off except for family night when we watch a favorite show together and then talk about it, to allow us mealtimes to reconnect with each other. When I was growing up, we weren’t allowed to place phone calls after 9pm, and now my kids aren’t allowed on their phones or tablets or on email after 9pm either. We also try to show our children that when we are with others, the people we are with deserve our attention so we will let our phones take a message and refrain from checking tweets and emails. We also limit the total amount of screen time our kids are allowed each day. This is more challenging during the summer months and school breaks, so they have a list of additional tasks they can engage in to be able to “earn” additional screen time, although it’s never a direct one to one correlation. So for example, practicing their piano for an extra 30 minutes may earn them 10 minutes of screen time, while reading for 45 minutes or an hour will earn them 15. And to ensure they don’t get stuck in a rut there as well, they have to choose something different from that list before repeating something they have already done and enjoyed more (funny, they never choose to do additional chores twice in a row…I might concede on that request!)
We also try to instill in our children the values of generosity and gratitude. I have sons, but even my sons have learned the value of a good ‘ole handwritten thank you note rather than a less personal email thank you.
I’ve heard it said that prior to the onslaught of technological advances, people thought that the new technology would leave them with so much free time that they wouldn’t know what to do with themselves. Instead we try to crowd more than 24 hours worth of tasks and information into a single day, often at the risk of not doing anything well.
I often find the clutter that all the technological communication devices produces clouds my ability to think clearly and to hear from the Lord. The only one I want to be available to 24/7 is Him, so to do so, sometimes I have to intentionally tune out or turn off the rest.
Valuable information, Michelle, especially coming from a neuropsychologist.
In December, I walked away from social media posting. I only read what others wrote and refrained from commenting until Easter. It was an exercise encouraged by my spiritual mentor. Man, my neck feels the difference. Social media started to dominate my free time, but getting away helped me regain perspective. Only recently have I begun to post some entries. It’s like visiting the Matrix as Neo. I get to go home, unplug, and live free. 🙂
What a testimony. Isn’t it funny how in a few short years this has gone from the norm to a revolutionary fast?
Wendy, it’s like gambling. There’s some payoff in the form of good feelings, but we grow addicted to euphoria of access while becoming a voice-piece for world peace and cat jokes. Soon, the euphoria is gone and we’re left with the obligation of clicking a plethora of “likes.” 😛
What a refreshing post–thanks, Wendy! And a good reminder.
I’ve found some of my best writing time happens when I don’t have access to the internet… 🙂
For this reason I purposefully do not have a smart phone. If I’m not at my desk, I don’t want the distraction of email. I also don’t give out my cell phone number. My cell phone is for my convenience — not other people.
And I stay off of social media during the early morning hours when I’m writing.
(I used to have a computer moratorium on Sundays, but I gotten away from that — mostly because emails relevant to church are sometimes sent out Sunday morning.)
What a wonderful post.Thanks Wendy.
I think the social media in our lives is like our other vices; all in moderation. :0)
Thank you, Wendy!
I personally dislike all of this computer business, have a Facebook page which I comment on occasionally, and don’t have a clue about Twitter, Pinterest etc. And just last night, a friend told me her husband said she was addicted to the computer. Unfortunately, he’s right. And she knows it.
I call it the dehumanizing of the human race. All emotion is taken out of our lives when we work with these machines. And emotion is what we use to be compassionate and understanding and helpful and loving and kind.
In addition, we are refusing to pay attention–to everything. You can’t see or think when your eyes are riveted on a cell phone and you’re concentrating on whatever it is doing.
My dog loves to go up the hill with me, and now that spring is coming, we get to do it again. You have fun too on your wonderful walks.
Thank you for this post, Wendy.
A convicting reminder.
I am not a computer savvy person so I’m not as drawn to spend the amount of time online BUT it takes me twice the time when I am online because I am not computer savvy.
Kind of a Catch 22.
That dates me.
God taught me something precious at Mt. Hermon this year. I took my laptop but never turned it on and life was richer. I wrote by hand in journals, notes to friends, and listened to Him by creek side and meadow.
I’ve tried to continue with a better balance since my return home and what a big surprise, my family responded with like minds.
Maybe it just takes one in a family to slow down and breathe.
I’m sure it can take over again but something richer waits at the dinner table, on the back patio, and in the early quiet of the morning.
So glad God is never too plugged in too when I seek Him, and He’s probably just like my family, waiting…
The “white space” you speak of is similar to the space between musical notes in a great song – without either one – all we have is chaos and no quiet time to: think – dream -ponder.
Last year my mom had a reunion with about a dozen of the girls she met and graduated high school with over 50 yeas ago. Amy, my 15 year old daughter, and I had the joy of serving lunch and dessert so my mom could enjoy the day to the fullest. The best part for us was hearing all the stories told, remembered and laughed over. On the way home, we talked about our experience and I shared my concern that the “plugged in” generation is so entertainment saturated they may loose some of their zeal for real adventure.
For writers..it will be hard to write about life, if we don’t actually live it as well. Sometimes we have deadlines, but sometimes we just have to walk on the beach and feel the sand under our bare-feet.
Your post strikes a chord! I do worry about my kids a bit, but, being boys they do tend to bust outside at regular intervals to play ball. Unfortunately, we’re in autumn months now so winter means a lot more time indoors. It almost seems for me though that getting unplugged becomes more and more of a challenge, as I find more ways to engage online. I just joined Twitter this week! Eeks. Have to continue to strive for balance, as you say. I find setting personal guidelines helps.
I’ve heard this theory many times before, but the truth is, while studies may find correlations between large amounts of media use and anything they like, that doesn’t mean that one causes another. My personal theory is that people who aren’t big socialisers, spend more time online. I know this is personally my own tendency. I find it easier to interact online than I do face to face. I also know that my daughter’s personality didn’t change any when she started watching TV! She’s still the same highly strung, highly intelligent, and very sensitive child she demonstrated she was when she was an infant. In fact, I used to joke that if TV stunted kids imaginations/intelligence, then I was glad of it, because otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to keep up!
As an author though, the issue for me is balancing my online time with making sure I’m spending enough time connecting with my family. This isn’t because my online time is a problem, is the time itself. I’d have the same issue if I was busy at book signings and conferences. At least if I’m on twitter, I can step away from the computer when my daughter asks me to play, or to get her a drink of water.
I struggle with social media being a time waster. There’s just enough “need” to be connected all day that setting the phone aside can be tough. But I have found that the days when I deliberately prioritize and intentionally leave some things alone, I am calmer. My mind doesn’t get clogged with what everyone else in the world is up to, and I can better focus on what I am up to. My mind can drift and pray and my eyes can see what’s right in front of me.
With my children, we greatly limit mobile devices (they are too young for social media but do use devices for games and tv). My daughter’s middle school friend rode in the van with us yesterday afternoon. The weather was 60 degrees, sunny. The sky was blue with white clouds. The trees are becoming green and flowers are blooming everywhere, but she missed the beauty. Her iPod got all her attention.
Social media and mobile devices present many challenges that we must be aware of. Thanks for the post.