Blogger: Janet Kobobel Grant
While society no longer puts citizens in stocks or pillories, social media is the new town square where you can be publicly humiliated–or humiliate yourself.
In You’ve Been Publicly Shamed, author Jon Ronson contends that the powerless can feel empowered by social media. His concern is that Twitter, Facebook, even Instagram, can seem like safe havens, but we shouldn’t be so blithe about the potential repercussions of presenting ourselves without filters.
Recently I watched an interview with Ronson on the “PBS News Hour,” which you can see here. As he points out, social media is a place of high drama. That’s why scrolling through your Facebook wall can leave you exhausted, as you ride an emotional roller coaster: someone’s birthday is celebrated (yea!); someone is recounting her latest round of chemo treatments (sad! but hopeful!); a baby is born (yea!); a death is announced (very sad!); a cute puppy photo (ah!); a silly saying (laugh!)…on and on it goes. And the announcements usually are accompanied by photos, which add to their emotional impact on us.
But sometimes the high drama goes awry. Ronson shared a few examples of people who were, in his word, “mangled” via social media.
- One woman became a Twitter sensation when she tweeted from a plane that she was about to take off for Africa. She hoped she wouldn’t get AIDS. Then added: “Just joking. I’m white.”
By the time her plane landed in Africa, a Twitter campaign against her had caused her to lose her job. By the way, she had just over one hundred Twitter followers.
Sometimes our shameful behavior is recorded on social media.
- At a convention, a man told the guy sitting next to him in an auditorium a sexist joke. The woman sitting in front of them decided they deserved to be shamed. So she snapped their photo and tweeted that they were so sexist they used certain words (which she repeated) in a joke.
The result? The two men lost their jobs–and then, when the Twitter universe found out, it turned on her and destroyed her reputation as well. Just desserts?
- A woman had a friend snap a shot of her at Arlington Cemetery giving “the finger” to a sign that asked for the public to remain silent and respectful. She thought she was being funny when she posted it on social media.
She, too, lost her job.
To those of us who are self-employed, all this job loss sounds sad but nonthreatening. Still, authors are public figures. We work hard to build our social media viewership. Personally, I’m sobered to think that each example Ronson gave in the interview shows how putting up something on social media can be misunderstood or manhandled by another person who takes it in a way you never intended. Or “outs” you on social media for behaving in a way you wouldn’t want to make public. None of these individuals set out to post something controversial.
By the way, when I started to write this post, I decided to use the stocks and pillory examples because we associate them with antiquated ways of inflicting humiliation. But, as I did a brief search on the Internet about each of them, I was appalled to learn that the punishment went beyond shaming or having some produce tossed your way by offended neighbors. Often those pilloried had their ears nailed to the board so they couldn’t move their heads when people threw mud, rotten food–or stones–at them. Once the offending parties’ time in the pillory was over, their ears were cut off. They were marked for life–if they survived the punishment. Those placed in stocks also were severely abused by the townspeople and didn’t always survive the experience. So when we use the phrase laughingstock, it is no laughing matter.
Nor is the way people can be punished–deservedly or not–on social media.
What’s the takeaway for each of us?
- Always apply your social media filter to anything you put on the Internet. Ask yourself if it’s possible for someone to misunderstand the tone with which you intend your posting to be read. Not everyone will think of you as a witty fellow but rather as a nitwit.
- Steer clear of material that is political in nature unless you write about pop culture or societal issues. Don’t assume everyone following you on social media belongs to the same political party you do or shares your opinions.
- Be cautious when using sarcasm. Always assume at least one person won’t get it. Are you okay with that?
- If you are called out for posting something that offended an individual, apologize for causing offense, which wasn’t your intention.
- Take down ugly, over-the-top responses to your post, if you can. But don’t be afraid to let a little heat develop (if you can take it) because that will increase social media exposure. Just remember, it can get out of hand if you don’t monitor carefully. The saying, “All publicity is good publicity” doesn’t always apply.
- Don’t be mean yourself. Social media makes us feel anonymous and act as if the person we’re cutting down isn’t a real individual. Hello! We are all real behind our social media presence! Don’t write anything you wouldn’t say to a person’s face.
- Ask yourself if you’re over-sharing. Never announce the specifics of how your book is selling (until you reach 500,000 copies, or some other exclamation-worthy mark), especially if sales are disappointing. Nor should you share details of your most recent book contract (you’re probably prohibited from doing so in your contract). Don’t offer the specifics of how the flu is ravaging your body. Don’t post graphic photos of a violent scene. (Yes, I’ve seen all of the above on social media.)
- Don’t believe everything you read. I once observed a heated battle between two agents take place on Facebook. Agent A, in an attempt to publicly shame another agent, accused Agent B of poaching (stealing clients–a major no-no among agents). Agent B responded by expressing grievous hurt to be so accused and hurled back accusations about Agent A. It was ugly. But even worse, clients for each agent took to commenting, vigorously defending their agent. That was even uglier. Where did the truth lie in all of this? My guess is only the two agents knew. Don’t add fuel to fires that never should have been built in the first place, especially if you don’t know the facts.
As you read this post, what instances of social media excess you’ve seen came to mind? Did you recall a time you were misunderstood? or came under attack undeservedly? If so, how did you deal with it?
TWEETABLES
Social media: the new public shaming forum. Click to tweet.
How to avoid being humiliated–or worse–on social media. Click to tweet.
Hi Janet,
My thoughts on social media have always been to keep it professional, develop a balanced approach to opinions, and be honest. Don’t over post selfies (become a narcissist), constantly tweet about the slightest accomplishment, and overdo it when it comes to promotion. I’ve unfriended, unfollowed, and blocked folks who fill up my social media walls with things that only they care about. Social media is a wonderful thing, but only when used following proper etiquette and sharing things that are useful to others.
I was once harassed online by an individual who was a sociopath. I handled it by completely blocking them off my social media and email. I also set up Google Alerts letting me know if anything was written about me on the internet as a whole. I even resorted to consulting with an attorney, but it never came to the point of filing charges. Since then (years ago) no trouble. But my point is that the trolls are everywhere and we all have recourse available to us.
Enjoyed the article!
Randy, thanks for the reminder to set Google Alerts for us names, the titles of our books, etc. That way we can keep track of any mentions of us (including the positive ones).
Janet,
Yes, Google Alerts is probably the top method of tracking what’s being said about us, negative or positive.
Thanks Janet. This post was very helpful. Bless you.
Yikes. This is a good reminder, Janet. Wise words. I once got in a silly argument online about if one were required to pull over and let cars pass you if you were holding up 5 or more vehicles but were traveling at the designated speed limit. “You’re not holding up anyone.” I blithely stated. “They can’t go faster than the speed limit anyway.” Amazingly, feelings were hurt and I really wish I had never said anything at all. But I suppose the incident did serve to teach me to think twice before commenting on a …controversial subject.
Kristen, that’s a great example of making an innocent remark that garners sharp responses. Who would have thought advocating the speed limit could rile folks and hurt feelings?
With certain members of my family, I HAVE TO be very very very careful what I say on social media.
I cannot even allude to some people. I just can’t.
I cannot post photos, mention names, locations, etc.
I can’t even say why.
I’m in a few private Facebook groups, and can cut loose there, because those groups are private and it’s basically a “what happens here stays here” mentality. We are trust each other.
3 of my 4 kids are on Facebook, my dad is on, and my brother. Also, my agent is on there, too!
I have deleted a few posts that made me feel like I shouldn’t be saying what I said. I’m fine with that. I need that conscience checking mechanism to work.
I had a blog for 12 years, on a site that is now defunct. About 10 years ago, I said something that I should not have said, and WOW, did I learn my lesson.
I also saw something that came close to breaking my heart.
Of the people who showed the most grace, the most understanding and the most forgiveness? Many were non-Christians.
The one who extended far more love than I thought possible? She calls herself a “flaming pagan”. We are still very close friends.
The most pompous and unforgiving? Seriously, HARD LINE nasty… She claimed to be a Christian.
The lessons I learned?
Do not overshare. Do not spit out what cannot be taken back.
Keep some walls up. Build them high and reinforce them with rebar and titanium.
When it comes to social media, gone are the days when you could call the post office and stop that letter.
Excellent points…and it is awful that a self-proclaimed Christian treated you so harshly. C.S. Lewis said that we will likely be surprised at whom we encounter in Heaven. I think he’s understating the case.
Jennifer, I had forgotten all about the days when we could retrieve a letter from the post office. Those seem like the glory days, giving us time to reconsider our words.
I have a blog now, and with a recent post, one on world building, I was using some real world examples of differences in culture and such related to regions. I went on a large semi-private group and asked for help with the paragraphs talking about race. I did this because I had an experience where someone blocked me for “racism” because of what I said about diversity in a historical TV show. I didn’t want to repeat that incident under my real name. (The incident was not an attack, just simply the person blocking me, but it showed me how sensitive some people can be, even when I always try to be very polite.)
I am a little more free on another website where I don’t use my real name. On that site, I let people know who I really am, but I never link back to it from my author website. (People who know me by my screen name know my real name, but those who know me by my real name might not know me by my screen name.) If I get more popular, I may try to separate my screen name and real name more than I have now, since I do sometimes talk politics under the screen name.
On Facebook, I’m very open about my beliefs, but my Facebook account is “friends only.” I don’t think that I should have to remain silent on issues that are important to me because I’m an author.
Jessi, thanks for the examples of how you’ve managed to express your political opinions without having those views connected to you as an author.
Thanks for replying.
I figure any cyberstalker worth his (or her) salt could figure out the link, but I’m hoping that if anything does happen under my screen name, I’ll have a bit more time to do damage control.
I’m guessing an agent or publisher that looks me up won’t find the link between my author side and screen name. (I was actually online under the screen name long before I was ever active under my real name.)
This is an excellent reminder, Janet, especially for younger up and coming writers whose familiarity with social media may diminish the healthy respect we all need to have for it. Like so many other things, social media is a tool that can be used or abused. I always cringe when I see instances of parents using social media to shame their children for an infraction. While I blog a lot about my family, I strive to maintain an awareness that our home is a haven–nothing leaves our walls verbally or virtually that would embarrass or hurt my husband and children.
I have very occasionally posted about somewhat controversial topics, but only after putting a great deal of thought and prayer into my approach and wording. So much of the pain and misunderstanding on social media is caused simply by people being thoughtless.
As Christians, we need to be diligent in practicing James 1:19, being “swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath.”
Laura, you’re so right that we need to be cautious in what we put on social media about our families. Asking someone’s permission when we’re not sure if it’s okay to share is a good practice to follow.
For years, my rule was “Never post something you wouldn’t want to read in tomorrow’s newspaper headline.” Now that I get the news online, I found a new rule: “Never post something you wouldn’t shout down a public hallway.”
Wow, Janet, you’ve given me a whole new visual for “pilloried” – even uglier than I’d thought.
Great point…it’s reminiscent of Immanuel Kant’s Categorical Imperative, that one should live as if one’s actions would become the model for humankind. But then…how many FB followers did he have..?
Shirlee, the public hallways test is a good one. It also keeps us from sharing trivial items online.
What a great rule-of-thumb, Shirlee! I wish that would prevent people from shouting their political and religious views to their Facebook friends. Or perhaps I should say, “former Facebook friends.”
Good point, Laura. Freely expressing one’s opinions on divisive issues is a quick way to lose friends.
Great post! Navigating the often choppy waters of social media is not always easy. For me, it’s necessary, as I’ve seen Facebook and Twitter become the best platforms in which to get attention about my books. But it’s also been a learning curve. I’ve come to understand that sometimes what I see as silly and irrelevant can be viewed quite differently by somebody else. And, like you pointed out, not everyone understands sarcasm. Sad but true. 🙂 I’ve definitely made mistakes in posts and regretted them and had to deal with fall out, but I think we all have. I appreciate those experiences because it makes me realize that we are all different, and reminds me to treat others as you wish to be treated. Sometimes I’m a little shocked and annoyed by the things I see people posting, and the arguments that ensue, but I’ve learned not to get involved. It’s a balance between being real but also being aware, because once the wrong words are out there, it’s hard if not
impossible, to take them back.
Cathy, if only we didn’t have learn by trial and error, eh? Been there, done that.
Janet, thank you. Such a reminder to be careful and to continually ask God to transform my heart into a 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 vessel of love … “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
Shelli, the I Corinthians 13 passage is apt for our conversation. What a great sieve to pass our online engagement through.
I can’t but help think that this was a difficult post to compose, Janet…an unpleasant and harrowing subject. Thank you for doing it. Personally, I keep most of my social media work confined to blogging, and I am careful in what I say. For some reason, neither FB nor Twitter really resonate with my working paradigms, and I cordially dislike them.
For what it may be worth, I have learned that my opinions on controversial subjects are largely of interest to me alone…and that humor is usually not worth the trouble.
I daresay your opinions are of interest to many,many people, and your wit is appreciated by those same people.
It’s good to see evidence of your tenacity, on this grey Monday morning. Well, it’s grey here…
Thanks, Jennifer. At the risk of violating a precept and sharing too much (!), it’s extremely hard to keep going at the moment. One thing that social media has done, I think, is to loosen the bond between one’s words and one’s perceived responsibility thereto. I’ve taken some heavy “in your face” hits of late, after the fashion of social media/email “flames” (though delivered more personally); the conventions of courtesy are slipping, and real damage can be done, even to the most resilient of hearts.
Andrew, I hope you don’t mind me sharing this … please forgive me, but your blog post “Missing You” is the sweetest and most beautiful romance novel I’ve ever read. It stirred a multitude of emotions in my heart, that are still going round and round. Thank you, Andrew. http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2015/05/your-dying-spouse-10-missing-you.html
Shelli, I’m honored. It’s part of a series on how do deal with a dying spouse; I mentioned here a few weeks ago that I was planning a book on it, but to make sure it gets out there I decided to blog it. The book will come, if possible, as an expansion and development of the posts.
Andrew, this was a difficult post to write. And I kept thinking, “Go ahead, darken everyone’s Monday skies, Janet.” But we need reminders to be mindful of the words we tap out on our keys.
You’re right, too, that people seem to respond to humor or opinions in unpredictable ways. Because they either don’t “get it” or take themselves too seriously.
This is such a good post, Janet!
For work, I used to deliver an annual presentation to rising medical students at the academical hospital where I managed employee communications. I’d try to gently warn them to remember that they were now considered an extension of our brand to the wider community!
That’s the brute truth about social technologies: they work so hard, for better or worse, to integrate what used to be semi-separate versions of ourselves. We’re all behave a little differently in different contexts. If you think about your private Facebook account–not even your more poised/businessy author one–you probably have a nice smattering of church friends, business colleagues, family, college friends, childhood pals, all in the same pot. (Theoretically, you can parse these into “groups” and control who sees what content, but I don’t know many people that hyper-manage their accounts this way.)
The good news about this is that, if you’re thoughtful, it can prompt some sole-searching and maybe even a healthy quest for greater character integrity.
Now…as far as authors using their Twitter handle or blog to voice outraging on every last societal issue (or reality TV disaster)…it ultimately only divides their audience and chews away at their potential influence. And (to me) it can look a little disingenuous…like a greedy grab at traffic. I have no shortage of anger and frustration and IDEAS about hot-button issues…but I air them out with my mother and husband and sister. Not, not, not online. I’ve seen a lot of writers needlessly trumpeting opinions that are totally tangential to their ministry and core platform, and it’s such a side-show. And a dangerous one. It throws up a wall between me and them. It hurts the church and diffuses our influence with infighting. What a muddy brand we give to belief, all for issues that are secondary to the gospel. We make second and third things “first things.”
I’m not saying we should water down our thoughts, but we’ve got to be wise as serpents and innocent as doves and ALWAYS ask if our venting and web-squabbling will hinder our most precious message.
Can you tell I’m so passionate about this? 🙂
Preach it, Becky!
Janet, I followed news coverage of both incidents you cited. It was disturbing in so many ways.
There are two things that really bug me on facebook.
1). sharing someone else’s news. I have a friend who repeated posts RIP, and divulges information about deaths before the families have had a chance to catch their breath. To me that is just a mouthpiece for gossip – same as when they ask for prayer for someone publicly without consulting the “prayee”.
2). I disliked chain mail when it was postal and just as much now. Those who post “I know most of you won’t repost this, but those who really care about me and are my true friends will change their facebook status to what I tell them.” I don’t do that for anybody in any circumstance. That is emotional blackmail and I don’t play along.
I know- I am a curmudgeon!
I despise the “…if you…” posts!!
But, me being me, I will re-post the ones that say “If you or anyone you know has been chased by dragons, repost this. How many of my really real friends will?”
Then I answer with “…the ones who don’t, clearly couldn’t out run a dragon”.
Same here.
I’ve noticed it seems to be the grandparents that are more likely to repost the “if you” posts. (Or maybe it’s just something in my circles.)
Sheila, good point on the person who wants to be the first with the latest news, without considering the impact quick sharing can have on those dealing with painful events.
I just ignore the threats-of-disloyalty posts. So feel free to unfriend me, “friend.”
Janet, I have a question…what do you think this trend will have on writers, and the willingness of publishers (and, perhaps, agents) to work with them if they have a “colourful” past? Would we have a Hemingway, or a Faulkner, today?
Andrew, well, it’s not as if Hemingway or Faulkner cleaned up their lives after they were published…they were take-me-as-I-am-or-leave-me kind of guys. But comments on social media can have drastic effects those posting don’t think about. A few years ago I saw a newly-signed client of ours post mostly drinking and partying pics on FB. Hm. But then he posted that his goal was to retire soon. Um, he was in his 40s and not in a financial position to do any such thing. I decided he wasn’t a good fit for our agency.
Thank you for addressing this in both the general sense, and from the Books and Such perspective, Janet. I’m going to go out on a limb now, with no apologies…because of your willingness to address things like this, and to answer questions with forthrightness and clarity, Books and Such is the only agency I will now consider (if I have something worth submitting!). Not that others aren’t good, and honest, and true…but I’ve gotten to know you guys over many years, and I would trust you with my work, and now…and maybe this is the deciding factor…with my legacy.
What an honor that would be, Andrew.
Janet, the honour would be mine, and I know I am not alone in saying this…you, and Wendy and Rachelle and Mary and Rachel and Michelle (in MTWThF order) have given me hope, and a reason to keep going. There have been days I have literally crawled to the computer to see what’s up at Books and Such (ok, walking is tough now)…it’s not too much to say that you have helped me find a reason to write, and thus, to live. You guys are IMPORTANT. I hope, with all my heart, that you know this.
Andrew, I like your MTWTF way of remembering each person on the Bookies staff. I’ll have to employ that!
You do us a great honor to say such kind things. Everyone who regularly reads our blogs has been blessed by you in such special and consistent ways. Thank you!
Janet, what a great, vivid explanation for why we must be so careful on social media. I agree with Andrew that courtesy, as a whole, is being left behind when people feel they are anonymous. I’ve read cruel things written by people to a person they’ve never met.
I try to be careful what I post about myself, my family, my friends, and my life. Since I don’t live a life that looks exciting to others, there’s not much to post on that front. 😉
As for being misunderstood, earlier this spring, I was helping promote an inspirational romance. I had a Facebook friend comment (my words summarizing) that he couldn’t understand why I would encourage women to read novels that would cause them to think they’re husbands are not good enough when compared to fictional heroes in the books.
I prayed about my response, and another commenter shared the differences between inspirational and ABA romance books. And this particular author of the book I was promoting is very good at creating realistic, rather than comparing-worthy, heroes.
Long story short, I think when we are confronted about something we’ve posted, we need to approach the situation with prayer and grace, rather than jumping in in the heat of emotion.
Jeanne, thanks for the example of how you took the high road with the guy who thought romance novels should be banned. It would have been so tempting to point out his insecurities. Okay, it would be so tempting to ME to go that route. But that’s why we should pause before we flippantly reply, right?
Jeanne, how sweet that another commenter stepped in to clear the situation. I would have been sending up a prayer of thanksgiving. 🙂 I’m sure you were, too! Just the word “confrontation” makes my heart do crazy things. 🙂
Jeanne, I NEVER post anything about my family, friends, or even very personal things myself online. There’s no telling who can see it. Maybe I’m paranoid, but there’s so much hacking and cyber criminology going on it’s better to be safe than sorry.
Janet, excellent post. What would once be considered common sense and decency, now needs instructions. What a shame. Will be sharing this!
Very good advice, Janet. This is one of the main reasons that I’m not real fond of social media on a personal level. I had never thought of the stocks analogy, but it fits very well.
After thinking about it, and reading the other comments, I started to wonder, are agents likely to judge me for fanfic? I’ve been experimenting with Wattpad as a platform, and I put some old fanfic of mine on there to test the waters. Is this likely to make me seem less desirable to publishers and agents? Also, what about talking about my favorite TV shows on my blog, especially considering some are “kids” shows?
Jessi, unless your fanfic is erotica, and you’re wanting a traditional publisher for pure romance, or some other such dichotomy, I don’t see how the fanfic could be a problem. It’s okay to like kids TV shows, too. As long as you wouldn’t have a moral reason for being embarrassed, you DO have a right to hold an opinion about what you watch.
Thanks! I don’t write erotica or watch anything like that, so I should be okay. 🙂
I’ve seen a lot of poor behaviour on social media. I’ve seen authors laughing about the poor grammar skills of those for whom English is a second language. I’ve seen authors whinging about reviews. I won’t say I’ve seen it all, but there isn’t any shortage of it. I think some people think that freedom of speech equals freedom to say anything they like, but it isn’t true. I’ve had bad experiences with people in the industry, but I don’t see these things as an opportunity to publicly shame these individuals. It all comes down to professionalism.
Georgia, I so agree that asking oneself if a social media response or comment is professional would sift out a lot of poor taste choices.
Oh my word, this is so timely, Janet! Just last week I got lost on a rabbit trail reading articles (including one by Ronson) about many of the examples you cited. I think part of the problem is that irony and sarcasm, which can be funny, is often lost in written form. And context is important, too. The woman flipping off the sign at Arlington had a common practice of taking pictures of herself flouting signs like that in public places (ex: walking on the grass at a Keep Off the Grass sign, etc), so taken in the context of those other pictures, the Arlington snap, while in poor taste, would be a blip.
In a professional writer’s association I belong to, there’s currently discussion about how “controversial” to be on social media. Some are saying avoid anything that will invite a reader’s ire while others are adamant they have a moral responsibility to broadcast their views and opinions and to speak up about pertinent issues. Unfortunately, those who believe they must speak out have moral and political views diametrically opposed to mine. I’m leery of speaking out and inviting any attention because I don’t want that kind of spotlight. I’m afraid of getting caught in a mix-up and my words twisted.
I’m convinced that social media is our culture’s version of public stocks.
Thank you for the timely post!
Carrie, thanks for putting the woman’s pic in Arlington Cemetery in context. I had no idea–and neither did myriad other people. Not that it makes the photo okay, but at least the picture makes some kind of sense.
I hadn’t thought about whether an author (a novelist, I assume) has a moral obligation to speak out on cultural (and political?) issues. My first thought is that a novelist has chosen to express those opinions in veiled ways through fiction. Is it not then, “out of character” to write blatantly about one’s opinions on social media. Hm, I might be feeling a blog coming on…
I think you’re right about conveying opinions (or one’s world view) through fiction. I know the writers whose beliefs coincide with mine. That’s not to say I don’t read (and enjoy) some authors who believe differently. So I think I fall into the camp of not being (intentionally) inflammatory, but using story to express opinions.
Looking forward to that blog!
Janet, my view on this is simple. A prospective president starts preparing himself for election decades before, through career choices and behavior. Some do better than others. I hope one day to be published, but whether I do or don’t I represent values and truths I hold so dearly. As such, I steer clear of contention and offense, in all my social media – phew Paul was lost to the faith over the foolishness of one, impulsive young man and Moses lost 40 years to the same. It can take a tree decades to reach full height and a day to cut that to nothing – I am only to aware of that in my own life. Its just not worth it – I have paid too high a price to come thus far. We need to know what we stand for and focus on that or risk losing years of toil and labor on a moment of indiscretion, as Saul once did, and others too. It takes self-discipline and professionalism to do so, but it also displays respect for audiences, the public, potential publishers and agents, etc. It also shows self-respect and respect for our brand, which can take years to build. The opposite is to just waste energy and time on futile pursuits that have nothing to do with our cause. That said, if I have to make a stand on principle, you will find me hard to budge – and we all need to have that about us too, for a writer must also stand for something.
Peter, very good thoughts; thanks for sharing them. We could add King David to the list of people who, with one display of poor judgment, destroyed so much that he had worked his life to build.