The Trap of Being Wonderful

Hear me out. You are just the kind of writer the world needs right now, bound to break all bestseller records. Before this blog post is finished, you’ll see that there’s no one better, more skilled, or more successful than Books & Such to keep you from falling into The Trap of Being Wonderful.

Did you fall for any of the above? Any of it?

It’s so easy to want to believe the email or DM or phone call that massages our ego or rubs salve into our writer wounds. Am I good enough? Will I ever be published? Now that I’m published, will anyone remember the book I wrote six years ago?

We all know the self-doubt that might has well come labeled as such in the invisible Writer Welcome package. Will I ever find an agent, a publisher, a reason to keep writing? I’ve worked so hard. Will anyone notice?

Then comes the email.

“I recently came across your writing for the first time, and I have to tell you it blew me away. Your treatment of <insert topic> and the compassion/forthrightness/intelligence/humor with which you addressed it told me this is the writer the world has been waiting for. I see you have been writing short form pieces online/several novels/prolifically in the nonfiction space and that your passion is for readers just like me to find hope/financial freedom/my socks. I’m the coordinator for a nationally known book club and film company. We think your recent work-in-progress/book would easily interest the big name producers with whom we work. Here in the office, we’re already talking about spin-off potential and have secured well-known actors who are ready to go. Please contact me immediately so we can schedule a conversation. Don’t worry if you don’t have a screenplay. Or if your book is even finished. We can help with that. If you’re not published already, that’s a crying shame. But we can help with that too. Click on this link to find out how your dreams can become reality. And again, thank you for changing my life with your exceptional writing abilities.”

And then comes suspicion.

Nah. That’s a…a bot. Right? It’s not legit.

But what if it’s real? What if someone really did see potential in my writing? Am I really that wonderful? Who am I to doubt this reader’s opinion?

I don’t want to be the one who leaves the island with an idol in my pocket, like on the Survivor TV show. I really could be as wonderful as they say. It’s a stretch, but how else would they know all these details about me?

And wasn’t I just praying this morning that God would give me a sign?

It’s a sign, alright.

The nefarious of the world are getting sneakier and sneakier, slicker than slime on a water slide. They know how to appeal to a writer’s weak spot–self doubt–and their strength–a deep desire to make a difference in readers’ lives.

Not a day goes by that we don’t hear reports of authors (published or unpublished) receiving what look like absolutely legitimate praise for their work, invitations to speak at a large conference in Devon Island, Canada (which is uninhabited, by the way), a heartfelt plea for the writer become part of a network of other marketing geniuses like herself/himself for a low, low, but only until Monday entrance fee, a film offer, a generous invitation to let someone help their book find more visibility (and the book was released in 1997)…and the signature line even has a picture of the person writing (or is it?) and an address that sure looks legit, other than that typo.

And here’s the sign atop the Trap of Being Wonderful

You are wonderful. (We mean that. No, for reals.) You’re writing. But you’re also vulnerable. We all are.

Even the most savvy among us, even the most naturally skeptical of everything can fall for the highly polished but impossible to stand on marble scam-ology. It sounds so sincere. So legitimate. They even mentioned a short excerpt from your last blog post! How would they know that if they weren’t even human?

That might have once been an unanswerable question, but no more. Just as everyone has a tale to tell of their great-aunt Bertha who had six phone conversations with a person who convinced her she could be the hero if she posted the bail money for a nephew she doesn’t remember being related to and here we can get him out of jail faster, poor guy, if we can take the money directly out of your bank account…

Just like that, few authors don’t have a story to tell these days about the sophistication of the latest approaches by either scammers or, and don’t stop reading yet, machines disguising themselves as humans, or actual humans disguising themselves as “someone on your side with your best interests at heart.” And that includes companies who stumbled on you (no proposal or anything, no pitch, but they somehow discovered you) and want you to become one of their authors.

How can we know?

• If it sounds too good to be true, assume it is too “good” to be true.
• If it swells your ego, use whatever is handy to reduce the swelling–ice packs, bag of frozen peas, water pill. We want to believe the glowing words. But keep in mind, not everything that glows isn’t radioactive.
• Sometimes it’s super-hard to tell the legitimacy of the ask or offer. If so, ask your agent, if you have one.
• If it sounds like something an author friend just received, assume it is making the rounds looking for the unwary.
• Do due. Yes. Just as it sounds. Do your due diligence.

What’s my due diligence?

• DON’T click on a link of any kind or reply to the message. What do you think a bot will say if you ask, “Are you for real?”
• If they claim to have a website, type the website name into a Google search, not copy and paste. Does a legitimate-looking website pop up. Keep looking.
• If it’s a film company or publisher, look deeper. How many books have they published? How many films have they successfully released? Are they all by the same two or three authors? Do you recognize any of them?
• Check the website’s list of editors. Likely the name on the email is way off or sneakily SLIGHTLY off from the actual person who works at that company, if the company is more than an empty storefront.
• Google the name of the company with the word scam? after it. Makes for interesting reading. Bonus, that also works for Medicare scams too.
• And stay blinder-free. No one can be faulted for wanting to believe someone loves what they’ve written, wants to help you publish it, market it, get your work seen by movers and shakers. But blinders can keep us from seeing the truth behind the buttering up.

There’s no denying that it’s getting harder and harder to distinguish real opportunities from danger. Bots don’t get tired of rejection if no one responds, sadly. One would think their algorithms would realize, “Those Books & Such blog readers aren’t falling for our sales pitches” and change their tactics. But they’ll just invent new, slicker approaches.

Writer, beware. Aware, not scared.

We’re in this together.