Blogger: Wendy Lawton
A couple weeks ago I was reading comments on Rachelle Gardner’s Blog, 13 Things You May Not Know about Agents and came across a comment by Stephanie M. that said, “What you might not know about writers: We’re secretly jealous of your other clients, particularly the ones who are doing well and earning so much of your hard-earned praise.” She ended with a smiley face so I know the comment was at least partially tongue-in-cheek but it had a ring of truth to it.
Last week I posted a blog about the number of clients an agent may represent. Some comments expressed surprise at the number. Without context it could seem that even when you get an agent you are just one of scores of writers for that agent. Nothing could be further from the truth. Let’s talk about those “earning so much of [our] hard-earned praise.”
I grew up in a very large family. The core was my mother and father (until my dad died while I was in high school), three children by birth and four by adoption. But we were also a foster home. By the time my mother “retired” from parenting, we’d had over fifty foster sibs—mostly pre-adopt babies. You might think we’d have all gotten lost in the pack. Nothing could be further from the truth. Each one of us secretly believed we were the favorite. There’ve been times we jokingly argued the point with each one having good evidence that he or she was the golden child. (Of course, regardless of what my sibs might mistakenly believe, I was the hands-down favorite.)
What my parents did was to value each child’s uniqueness and to communicate that often. They worked hard to have a one-on-one relationship with each of us, so that we all had affirmations and memories that were ours alone. Each of us had a relationship that none of the others shared.
I’m not saying being an agent is like being a parent—that’s condescending and does not reflect the professional aspect—but when we talk about favorites among clients, it’s much like my parents’ favorites.
When I’m teaching about marketing I may cite one client over and over as a perfect example. Does that mean that client is a favorite? In that particular instance, yes. I may know that no one does it better. But if I’m talking about owning a category, say, I will bring up a different client altogether. My favorite? Yes, especially for that. Or writing skill. Or ability to connect with readers. Or knowledge of subject matter. Or. . .
I could go through my entire list and tell you why each is my favorite client. Some it is for what they do, others it is for who they are. As agents our list is hand-picked with much deliberation. Out of all the writers we could have chosen, these are our favorites. So Stephanie M. needn’t have worried. I’m guessing she’s her agent’s favorite client.
Here’s what I wish: I wish I could communicate those distinctions to my clients as well as my parents did. I know I’m not as good at affirmations in the rush of business. As a whole, we don’t encourage each other enough.
Writing with the goal of publication can be such an ego-bruising endeavor. What are those things that affirm you? Contest wins? An encouraging word from a professional at a writer’s conference? Your critique partners? Where is it that you find that “golden child” affirmation?
I too am the golden child. We are an elite bunch, aren’t we? So much jealousy from the peasantry! My brother and I also argue, in fun, about who is more important. No one is more vehement about importance than two equally delusional siblings. Of course, I am painting my brother and I as delusional, no one else. 😉
How’s this for arrogant? I declined to enter a contest because I was so sure I’d win. I didn’t want the rather lucrative prize because I felt it would endanger my chances in the US market. I’m also surprised my picture isn’t on our money.
My encouragement, so far, comes from the readers for whom I have unwrapped the blanket on the baby and let them hold her.
I know much of this is said with a smile and a wink, but one of the best things a writer can have is a sense of confidence. This business is a tough one and so many writers are sensitive– it’s a painful combination.
Wendy, thankyou for your response. I’m a wee bit confused if you are reading a lack of confidence in my comment, or if you are affirming that I am indeed quite full of happiness and cheer. If it’s a lack of confidence you see, just ask just about anyone who knows me, I am usually quite content in my own skin, I promise. My brother and I really do think we’re all that and a bag of chips. It’s frightening, really.
I have been hearing for years(blog readers and my newspaper column readers) that I should write a novel. So I did!
The contest in question was one in this country, from a vanity publisher. A few people encouraged me to enter, but I just didn’t know the ins and outs of things to feel like it was a good move. An editor at a fairly well known firm in the USntold me to be really careful about entering that specific contest, since some of the details on distribution and royalties were a bit vague.
I missed the Novel Rocket deadline by 2 days. Or I would have entered that one.
Sorry I confused you, Jennifer. I was talking generally about sensitivity. I love that you and your “delusional” sibs don’t suffer from it. Makes things a whole lot easier.
I, too, was blessed to have parents who made memories just for and just with me. My brothers and I can have conversations about childhood and swear we must have been raised by different parents (who, of course, loved each of us best!).
Much of my encouragement comes from my family. They think I’m awesome and even if I never publish a book, they’ll know it’s because no one had the good sense to see what a marvelous writer I am.
Of course, requests for proposals and semifinaling in Genesis help, too!
When I was going through the “pre-published” years of my own writing life I used to keep a binder for my rejection letters. I had it divided into three sections: form rejections, rejections with info, and encouraging rejections. As I got better my encouraging rejections file got bigger and bigger.
By looking finals in contests and proposal requests you’re even farther along. It’s a process and when we stay confident, it helps so much. Who wants to waste any precious days of our lives in despair?
Wendy,
I, too, have found affirmation in rejections with info and encouraging rejections. The first non-form letter rejection I got was from Highlights for Children. The letter told me the specific reasons why the editors did not accept my short story and none of it had to do with the quality of the writing. Sometimes I come across that letter when I’m going through my writing folders and it still gives me joy. The story wasn’t right for the magazine (the age level was a little too old), but at least the editors didn’t tell me to give up writing and go sell ice cream 😉
Sarah, families can be awesome! My mother’s my biggest fan. Even at 87 she’s introducing my books to anyone who will listen to her. She’s living in an assisted living home now so the number of people she reaches has dwindled, but I have a bunch of new fans and we’re having a book signing at the residence next month! Evidently there are a lot of folks reading my books at Oak Park Assisted Living Community. : – )
Oh–I love that your doing a book signing at your mom’s assisted living community. She’s going to skyrocket to superstar status! And you now officially have another fan in me. Can’t wait to read your books set in Australia.
I’d like to think that agents wouldn’t sign you unless they truly believed in your work, but if you’re new to an agent’s list, I think it’d be easy to see why some authors feel jealous or limited in time with their agent. I don’t really know though, since I’m not there yet!
Time is our biggest challenge as agents. We know that time we spend communicating with clients is time taken away from working with publishers on their behalf so it’s always a balancing act.
When a client is not hearing from his agent, it could be because his agent is working like fiend on his behalf. An agent on the road or on the phone is a good thing.
Of course it could be because he is tanning on a beach in Hawaii, too. 🙂
Every time I’ve been discouraged and ready to throw in the towel and do something “more constructive” (which for years has been get a PhD in American history), the Lord has sent some form of encouragement. It may be doing well in a contest, but generally it has been someone thanking me for something I wrote. I usually end up in tears.
What I like about that example of how I am God’s favorite, 🙂 , is that if touches me where I most want to serve: to encourage those who are downcast.
The Lord calls us to be faithful to the vision he put into our hearts. That does not necessarily mean we will be successful in anyone’s eyes but his.
But since we’re his favorites, should anything else matter? 🙂
It’s true what you say about the Lord sending encouragement to you, Michelle. Like getting to see your first publication end up on the NYT list. Little things like that. 🙂
Exactly what I was thinking, Wendy!!
I’m kind of nervous to admit this, but I get discouraged a lot. It’s my own fault really. My ego is more chihuahua than great dane. But I’ve never thought of myself as God’s favorite before! Now that’s encouraging right there. 🙂 My name means God’s princess after all. Maybe it’s time I start living like it.
When I sent out a round of query letters I called my husband and asked him to pray for me. Then I told him I needed a Bible verse to cling to. He gave me this one: Is. 41:10, but I thought the preceding verse just as appropriate. I felt like it was God encouraging me. That’s why I’ll be willing to send out another round. Someday…
I love this post, Wendy! I’ve always been the teacher’s pet kind of person…I know, I know…which probably just means I crave affirmation!
God always sends encouragement when I desperately need it, whether it’s through something reassuring I read in his Word or the words spoken by a friend or mentor. Becoming friends with other writers has been the hugest blessing to me. They get it. I’m not alone. They’ve experienced what I’m experiencing. And they persevered.
Don’t you love it. Truth be told, I think we all crave affirmation.
I need to keep being reminded to give affirmation in as great a dose as I long to receive it.
I love your comment on perseverence. A cousin once sent me a card in which she’d photo shopped my picture into a street scene. I thought the street sign said “Deliverance Street” but when I looked closer, I realized it was “Perseverence Street.” Yup. That’s the street I’m on with my writing even though I’d often prefer the other! Scripture is a huge encouragement to me too! In addition, I get a lot of encouragment from other writers and readers who like what I write.
What a great family and what wonderful parents. What a great way they modeled God for you all.
Several years ago I read that Karen Kingsbury got a contract for seven books in one year, and several of those books were going to be children’s books (which I want to publish). I said, “Lord, can you please tell her there are others who have messages and who would like to speak? Would you make her sit down and give someone else a chance to share? Tell her she doesn’t have to hog the whole bookshelf. She has enough money. Let her write one book a year. Why should she write ten thousand words a day? She’s cranking out a book every twelve days, for pity’s sakes. Enough, already!”
And then I was ashamed, because I remembered that God owned the bookshelves in a thousand stores and if he wanted me to be published I would be, regardless of how many books Karen had out.
Other people’s successes do not diminish me. And they don’t deplete God’s resources or his love for me.
So I have felt affirmed from contest wins and requests for manuscripts and going to pub board, but mostly my affirmation comes from this verse:
He gave me the Son! How can I be jealous of anyone?
Wise words, Sally. Here’s a quotable quote for us: “Other people’s successes do not diminish me. And they don’t deplete God’s resources or his love for me.”
I think this expansion principle is one of the reasons our market continues to grow in a down economy.
I did my social work practicum with an adoption agency decades ago, where I first met pre-adoption foster moms. These wonderful women will always hold a special place in my heart. They lovingly nurture newborns knowing that someday soon they’ll hand off those children to others–reminds me of the love of God. You were blessed to be a part of that, Wendy. Instead of babies, you nurture newborn books.
And just like our baby room of old, I have bassinets of books, lined up. What a fun way to think about them.
Wendy, you’re parents were saints, and I mean that literally. What an example of love and hospitality–which shines forth from you as well.
Encouraging words do the most to keep me going, both in writing and in life. I had an emotionally terrible day yesterday. I won’t bore anyone with the details, but I SO needed affirmation. It came late in the afternoon in the form of one sentence from Janet Kobobel Grant. It had nothing to do with what was upsetting me and I’m sure she didn’t realize how powerful that sentence would be to me, but it was the sip of water that I needed to continue on through the desert. Perhaps that means that I’m pathetic, that one affirming sentence could help me get through a day, but a kind word or a smile can make a big difference.
Thank you for this encouraging post. Blessings on your day. 🙂
Christine, my parents would have roared with laughter to hear themselves called saints.They worried about all that was left undone. Just like us.
I’m going to make sure Janet sees your comment. It may be just the bit of encouragement she needs on this crazy, busy day.
Thank you, Wendy. I hope it gives her a spiritual hug. Blessings to you both.
At every Books & Such gathering we look at each other and say, “I thought I was the only one [client].” 🙂 That says so much about the affirmation you give to your clients.
Each time I want to give up, God sends encouragement through His Word, phone call from a friend, or a note from a reader. With each rejection letter for my first book, encouragement would arrive soon after. With my current writing project, God’s been providing His encouragement through my critique partners.
However, I tend to be a people-pleaser and need to watch that I’m seeking my affirmation from the Lord, not others.
Judy, that tendency is true for many of us. Thank YOU for the encouragement today.
I think the perception that an author is not “the favorite” comes down to communication. AS stated above, when the agent is busy working for an author, the difference between resentment and gratitude is a quick email or chat about what the plan for that auther entails.
And because the agent can’t know how the client is feeling at any given time, he needs to just be proactive and communicate that need.
I’m not shy about contacting an author just to say, “What’s up.” Our clients shouldn’t be either. it’s what relationship– healthy relationship– is all about.
What a great conversation. Thanks for sharing, Wendy and getting us thinking.
As you know, I’m in a transitional place in my life. Affirmation matters a lot right now. Maybe more than it should. But sometimes I’m just downright confused and overwhelmed.
But God is faithful. He always sends me what I need, through an agent, a friend, crit partner (I have a fabulous critique group) or through a reader. Many times I receive a message from a reader that sets off the water works. I’m so grateful I get to do what I do!
Grace and peace to you, dear lady.
To many, it seems funny that a multi-published author, one who is an amazing writer, would need affirmation but, isn’t it the truth?
Hopefully your 4 1/2 star RT review last week helped. 🙂
Wendy,
I read a really great book over the Christmas holidays. As I finished the last page and shut the book, I thought, “I can do this. I CAN do this. I CAN DO THIS!!” I’d been stalling for 10 years on my desire to write.
I found the writer’s knowledge of the subject quite impressive, her description of the setting was like a movie and her dialogue was exceptional.
She knew her stuff and took me somewhere I’d never been. Her story gave me the kick in the pants I needed to march to the computer and open a Word file and start typing. It was her courageous female lead that spoke to me. A woman in a harsh environment beating the odds and rising above her limitations and those imposed upon her.
I knew I could do what God gave me the gift to do.
The book was Touching the Clouds and the writer is Bonnie Leon.
I love the comparison in this post – it makes so much sense – particularly because I have children of my own and I know what it’s like to want to spend special time with each of them and value their own uniqueness.
I’ve found that writers, at least the ones I’ve been blessed to be friends with, are an amazingly supportive bunch. They’ve encouraged me along the way, and kept me going. Yes, it’s awesome to have a contest win or a request from an agent, but those kind and uplifting words from other writers are invaluable.
Thanks for this post!
Now to remember this and keep encouraging others.
Wendy, thank you so very much for this post. I so needed to read these words. They make my heart sing.
Thanks, Sue.
I keep a folder of “reader mail” with particularly encouraging phrases highlighted so that when I am discouraged, I can pull out that folder and read what God has done through my writing … in spite of all my very real flaws and failings. Of course I also have that little trophy that my agent sent that says “The Best Client in the Universe” … KIDDING!!!!!!
I was with your agent when she recently got exciting news about you, Steph . Believe me, just seeing her joy would have been trophy-worthy. Nothing makes our day like a triumph for one of our favorites. 🙂
I couldn’t care less about contests. I do like money, but above all my affirmation comes when a reader says to me: “thanks for making me think.” I have no agenda to cause people to think differently, but I do purpose to make them think, and if it compels them to action for the greater good, that’s a bonus.
I like that you are keeping your reader in the forefront. That’s the best kind of encouragement.
Thanks for sharing your personal story, Wendy!
For me, I’m most vulnerable at the initial stage of a submission or idea. During the period of waiting I battle self-doubt like everyone else. One of the most powerful things is just that initial, “Hey, this is looking great so far…I will get back to you with recommended changes…” Something like that really relieves me of a boat load of tension just realizing that the reason I hadn’t gotten feedback wasn’t because the work was terrible. Needing to edit is normal and expected, but belief in the work is more meaningful.
I realize when you are still in the submission stage, you aren’t going to get that kind of feedback with agents and editors. But with critique buddies and others in your support system, this is possible.
Thanks for another great post, Wendy!
The tough part is that we are no judge of our own work until it has had time to sit for a while. I think that’s why those first comments are so helpful.
Mom and Dad always liked them best! I think it makes sense that an agent would have many clients. Agents need to make a living wage. Besides, I’d rather be represented by someone who works hard for all of his/her clients. I’d be leery of an agent who only had me to represent. As long as a writer is the agent’s favorite when they are promoting his writing, then all is well.
An agent with one client– now that would be pressure for a writer. Can you imagine being late on a book and having to worry not only about your own liabilities but also about how your agent would pay his?
I was at a writer’s conference a few weeks back and an editor was sharing his typical day with the class. When talking about how busy they are and how many emails come in, he mentioned me by name, and said he would always open an email from me and write back because I have put in my time in the industry, developed a relationship with him, and was a “colleague.” I blushed my cheeks off and honestly felt I’d been given one of the best compliments of my career. He considers me a “colleague”?!? I love this business and I love the people I’ve gotten close to.
As for my agent, I may err on the side of too much self-esteem. Even if I don’t hear from her for months, I like to think she still smiles when I come to mind. 🙂 I know I feel blessed times a million times over to have her on my side.
I’m guessing she does. 🙂
And that kind of compliment shows that your relationship building and platform building is a success.
Encouragement for me isn’t a matter of what is said so much, but WHO says it.
I have a defense mechanism built in from childhood days of “never being good enough” and things said to me by those closest to me which weren’t true or nice.I learned to listen to what I thought Jesus was saying to me and it would come through a Bible reading or someone unexpected, so I survived. And I learned to champion others with much passion because I knew how it felt to always be the one looking for crumbs on the floor, only to be kicked away. (And it’s translated into my own family and home because our house is the one so many kids have been a part of.)
I dismiss some harshness because of who says it, too. But when someone I’ve grown to admire makes me feel worthy and special, that means quite a lot and I can’t quite believe it to be true–I’m awestruck. I’ve become my own harshest critic, something I would not tolerate if done to someone else!
I love hearing stories of your childhood. It’s made you into such a beautiful woman and an agent anyone would be blessed to have.
This was a great post!
Learning to close our ears to the dementors is one of the best things we do for ourselves. (Those mythical creatures who suck the very life out of you.)
Everyone who knows you loves you so you just have to listen to the voices you trust.
Wemdy, as usual, what a wonderful post. And as a parent, I can see what you mean exactly. All my kids are my favorite, and I hope they all know it, too.
As an unpublished writer, I love the encouragement I get from other writers who tell me they love my work. Recently someone requested my entire manuscript after reading one submission off a critique loop. I sent it to her, and she returned it two days later–she’d finished and added comments. To me, that she couldn’t put down my 80k word manuscript–that’s the biggest compliment someone can give me.
That is big. Reading a manuscript is a big commitment of time. Think about it. It’s probably 1% of our work year or more, so no one does it lightly. It’s a big encouragement indeed.
Oh how much I love, love, love this post. One of the reasons I love (there’s that word again) the verses in the Bible describing the Body of Christ is that it’s about how we were all created to be different … for a reason. We have different people we will touch in different ways about different things. It’s what the theme of my blog is about. Being that “thing” God created–not someone else. Wendy, you are very blessed to have that in your home, and you’ve passed that blessing along. I guess it’s part of your own gift.
That’s a good way to put it– being that thing we were created to be. So many who visit this blog realize we were created to be writers. That means we will have to put ourselves out there in a way that few understand. Not for the faint at heart.
Thank you, yet again, for being so open and able to look inward on your jobs, our roles, and this profession. And thank you for sharing part of your family’s beautiful story!
Like most (all?) writers, I love feedback – even if it’s a rejection, at least it was feedback! But, as you’ve shared, encouragement carries far-reaching impact.
(I LOVE Sally’s comment above!)
How I wish we could spend more time giving feedback. It IS important.
I have to say, “THANK YOU JENNIFER for making my day! And yep, the waterworks are on.
Bless you!
Bless you right back, Bonnie!!
She knows good writing when she sees it. If she had the chance to get to know you, she’d be even more amazing at the wonderful woman/wife/mother/daughter you are!
I love this illustration of how parents make time for each child, even when there’s a lot of kids and agents do the same for their clients. Sometimes one child requires more attention than another and a parent accomodates that. I would think an agent does the same.
I just recently started following your blog and find it very helpful! 🙂
Thanks, Gayla.
Wendy, thanks for another wonderful post full of insight and glimpses into your heart for this job and ministry.
I don’t have much to add to all of the wisdom abounding in the above comments, but I’m smiling as I notice a trend in them that rings true for me as well:
Words.
We’re writers. We treasure them. Words pour from us; words we agonize over, laugh over, rejoice over, lament…
and so when the direction reverses and the words are incoming? And affirming? Oh, how we cherish those.
Very, very well said, Amanda.
Isn’t that the truth? For me, words are my “love language.” I’ll bet it’s so with many writers.
Mine too, Wendy. 🙂
I don’t think I’m jealous of those other writers; I think it’s confirmation that my agent is capable of making things happen for their clients.
That’s what we aim to do. One favorite client at a time.
Wendy,
At my first Mt. Hermon conferene in 1994, Roger Palms requested an article about prayer. He rejected it with a suggestion for the rewrite. I resubmitted again and was rejected again. I still have both his letters on the top of my rejection file. They were handwritten, with scripture verses and kind words of encouragement.
At that same conference Jerry B. Jenkins gave me a verse, Luke 1:45.
It has been a long road of bumps, valleys, mountain tops and pits since then. I hope along the way, I have encouraged other writers with the same depth of truth, spoken in love, and encouragement to persevere, as those two humble servents of God came along side and shared with me.
As for the agent, I believe God prepared my agent years ago for the journey I am beginning to travel with her. What an amazing God to be so intimately a part of lives he weaves together for His glory.
Kathy
I think you nailed it– it’s a journey. Everything about this writing life is. If it was easy, everyone would do it. 😉
I’m totally a words of affirmation girl. That is my love language. I’m quick to encourage and a little encouragement goes a long way when it comes to filling my love tank.
What I’ve noticed – in my personal journey – is a shift that has happened as I’ve gone from “agented but not contracted” to “contracted but not published” to “book is out there for all the world to see”.
When I was “agented but not contracted” I had to rely largely on my agent for that affirmation. I longed for her encouragement b/c she was my go-to person in this big, scary industry.
Then I became “contracted but not published” That odd stage where I had a book deal, but my book wasn’t yet on the book shelves. Something shifted. All of a sudden, I didn’t just have my agent in this big scary industry anymore. I had this editor and these people at my publishing house. I became less “dependent” on my agent, if that makes sense.
Then recently, another shift occurred. My book officially released. I became a published author. My world broadened even more and I became even less dependent on my agent. Because now that affirmation (and sometimes humble-pie) comes from readers – whether that’s via reviews or emails.
I think being an “agented but not yet contracted author” was one of the most insecure times of my life. Because I WANTED my agent’s hard work to pay off. I wanted to make her proud. I wanted her to believe in me, even when those publishing houses were saying no and I was feeling deflated and a bit (or a lot) panicked. Thankfully, she did. But man….it’s an odd, emotionally taxing time. Which is why I think so many “agented but not yet contracted authors” need (or long for) encouragement from their agent. I was much more needy then (even if I never said so to my agent!)
Holy buckets – this was long-winded! But a fun reflection for me. This sure is a nutty nutty journey, isn’t it?
Alright – I think I’m going to make this incredibly long reply into a blog post.
Thanks for the blog fodder, Wendy!
Hi, Wendy!
I posted that just to let agents know that we writers hang on your every word. Whenever I see an email from my agent 1) my stomach sinks- she’s sick of me, the last ms tanked, we need to talk, etc. and 2) my heart races- She’s writing to me! She knows who I am! And even if it’s just to let me know I’m still on the radar I get a warm glow, no, make that a hand-shaking, butterfly flurry of excitement at idea of marriage of true minds.
You have to get tired of so much puppy love 🙂
Hopefully as we grow together the relationship becomes very mutual. I need my clients as much as they need me. Symbiotic relationship. We’re a team.
Even as an only child I can appreciate the analogy made. Does it give me comfort? Not exactly. It only proves that I have to prove myself that much more when I do get an agent to represent my work. But I am up for that. 😀
The good thing is, once an agent asks to represent you, there’s no proving. It’s just roll-up-the-sleeves time for both parties.
That is an encouraging thought, Wendy!
Wendy, I so appreciated this post and all the comments. It’s been one of THOSE days today, so sitting for a little bit and reading here has relaxed and encouraged me. 🙂
My parents, too, gave each of my sisters and I memories to cherish. I love this analogy about the desire agents have for their clients.
As so many other writers have said, words of affirmation are what speak to my heart and spirit. I haven’t won any contests yet, but I gain encouragement when I see imnprovements and receive positive comments about an aspect of the submission. I think more importantly, affirmation comes from those who are further along this writing journey than I am and have edifying words.
Thanks for a wonderful post.
Good point, Jeanne. You reference those writers further down the journey. I love how experienced writers still invest time in mentoring.
A couple of weeks ago I spent time with one of my early mentors– Lauraine Snelling. (Now a BFF and a client.) Lauraine has always been committed to those just starting out. And one by one, those new writers get contracts and join the ranks of the published.
Where do I get my affirmation when writing? Good question. I’m not even sure how to answer that. Since feedback from the same manuscript can be so diverse, when it comes down to it, I have to take what everyone says with a grain of salt and believe in it myself.
I know. You have to be able to sift. Make sure your critique partners have some years of experience under their belts. Newer writers tend to be slavish rule-followers and that’s not what good writing is about.
Here’s a writer’s confession: Knowing full well that “what agents think of us” is critical, we’re tempted to “suck up” to you and flutter like butterflies around your every bloom and flower. Not to develop a relationship with you, but to impress you. To sway you. To use you.
We want to get published so badly that we put love aside and embrace narcissism. It’s wrong. It’s ungodly. It’s shameful. Sometimes we treat agents more like stepping stones than people.
I apologize, Books and Such ladies, on behalf of all the writers that use and abuse agents. We mean well, for the most part, but sometimes our priorities and motives get screwed up. I know I’ve done this, which is one of the reasons I’ve stayed away from this blog for awhile. I wanted to reboot my motives before re-engaging. I want to invest, not entice.
If Books and Such ever decides to represent me, I want it to be because we agree together that God is in it. Amen?
Brad, I hear you.
My confession: we agents suffer from the same malady and have to examine our motives all the time.
We have to maintain warm relationships with publishers and editors– many times they become good friends. But we represent our clients and sometimes their need is at cross purposes to the publisher. We better not “flutter like butterflies.” Sometimes we have to take a strong adversarial stance– an unpopular stance. Believe me, we do a lot of soul searching.
Relationships are always complicated.
Same with the “community” around agents– especially the various agent blogs. We do not feel used and abused, however. In fact all of us at Books & Such love a good debate. Disagreeing with us here on the blog or at a writer’s conference will not harm our relationships. (Unless you are downright annoying– a pain in the neck– and we’d find that our long before representation.)
So let me say that to everyone reading comments– feel free to be yourself. Agree, argue, be funny, be real, be a pleaser, be a pain, it doesn’t matter. We love compliments and never see it as fawning– it just feels friendly. So don’t feel like you have to stop doing anything that may be seen as “sucking up.” We don’t see it that way. And don’t be afraid to disagree.
And Brad, you are a long time friend– from Mount Hermon and here– don’t stay away. We love hearing your voice. I think you are all about investment.
Thanks Wendy. The more I get to know you gals, the more I appreciate both your hearts and your candour.
great post, Wendy!! I am in the “preparing to submit my first manuscript to agent” stage. It just makes me smile and feel encouraged in my spirit to read Books and Such posts and read all the comments! I soak it all in. Thanks everyone for being honest and sharing your hearts! 😀