Blogger: Wendy Lawton
I’m not going to tell you how to craft a compelling elevator pitch today. I’m going to focus instead on the problem with elevator pitches.
What is an elevator pitch? According to Eileen Pincus’ “The Perfect (Elevator) Pitch” in Bloomberg Business, “An elevator pitch, elevator speech or elevator statement is a short summary used to quickly and simply define a process, product, service, organization, or event and its value proposition.”
Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great exercise for writers to boil their 100,000-word novel down to a few sentences that would last no longer than the average elevator ride. It’s just as useful for the nonfiction writer to be able to summarize his book succinctly. Without the thought that goes into crafting an elevator pitch, a writer goes on and on about her book– hitting the high points going back and forth and talking on and on until the listener’s eyes glaze over.
But from someone who’s sat at a table and listened to hundreds of elevator pitches, the well-crafted elevator pitch is just step one.
Let me tell you what it looks like to listen to dozens of elevator pitches in a row at a writers conference. The writer nervously walks into the room sits down. I think, what an interesting-looking person. I’ve seen her walking around, and I’ve been impressed. I’d like to get to know more about her.
She shakes my hand, thanks me for meeting with her and stops, gearing up for something. Her eyes dart off to the side as if she’s searching for her teleprompter. “Picture this,” she says as she leans in, “a man, a mountain and an insurmountable problem. . .” The pitch goes on at a spanking pace. I’m still trying to picture the man and the mountain, and we’re already on a thwarted embezzler. She’s memorized it and practiced it so many times it comes off as stilted as a six-year-old’s Christmas piece. And I’m lost.
The problem for me is that the writer has worked so long on crafting the elevator pitch that she’s packed too many complex elements in too small a package. Big idea after big idea– all very hard to follow even if you aren’t half brain dead, which editors and agents tend to be at writers conferences due to the massive onslaught of book ideas.
I’m no longer shy, especially if I’m already drawn to the person. I’ll listen to the elevator pitch with half an ear, and then I’ll usually say, “Just tell me about the book now.” I can see the writer visibly relax–the shoulders go down, and she leans back in her chair a little and then begins to really impress me with the story.
I don’t know if other agents have the same problem with elevator pitches, but for me it’s just step one. Then you need to be able to talk to me about the book and about you, the author.
How about you? Do you have an elevator pitch? Care to share? When you’ve practiced it on someone, do they ask you to slow down? Am I the only one who can’t grasp the elevator pitch fast enough?
TWEETABLE:
Elevator pitches for books? Beware, says literary agent @wendylawton. Click to Tweet
I don’t like the idea of an elevator pitch. Don’t get me wrong, I think it is essential to summarize my WIP in just a few words. I do it often, whenever someone asks, “What are you writing?” But a 30 second sales job? I choke.
* Thank you, Wendy, for this view from the other side of the table. I can only imagine hearing one elevator pitch after another. It would send me out the hotel doors screaming, “save me!” (I admire your patience and perseverance).
* Next time, maybe I’ll pretend the agent asked, “So what are you writing?” And answer as though it’s my neighbor asking and not a Shark.
* [big sigh] I feel so much better now.
Exactly. We love books and we love stories and we just want you to share yours. No sharks allowed.
My greatest EV happened when I stepped into a full elevator and someone I knew said, “Hi Peter how are you keeping?” “Great, but I am not keeping I am kept!” “Oh wow, who is she?”, and then the clincher, “its not a she, but a he”. The lift went very silent for a few moments, but as the door opened and I stepped out, I added, “and He has the whole world in His hands”.
Oh well, my only real add is that less is always more. The secret to all selling is actually to be simpler, not more complex. Prospects don’t want every gory detail, they want the basic pitch, the essence of why this product not the other. The ability to keep it simple is what makes good sales people enviable, because they don’t seem to try. But that’s like eating a simple meal without appreciating the skill that made it so.
As a toastmaster I also used to memorize my speech and then go off like a bat out of hell. Then I learned to only visualize the road map, the key milestones in my speech and to use that to keep me going logically to an end point. It allowed for more flexibility and impromptu adjustment to context and audience feedback (e.g. I could pick up on something said earlier), but most of all it no longer sounded canned.
I guess the secret is to be so well prepared that you deliver with a natural style that doesn’t seem prepared at all.
EV should be ES
Or so at ease that the excitement and essence of your story just naturally bubbles up.
You know, Wendy…at the end of the Civil War the Confederate navy had the most advanced and powerful warship afloat, the C.S.S. Stonewall. It was built in France, and it was the ancestor of every big battleship that ever sailed, but Stonewall was finished just too late to serve.
* But suppose it hadn’t been, and suppose the Confederate navigator was killed in a duel, and they had to find another.
* And just suppose that the navigator they found was a New Englander who’d achieved fame by sailing clipper ships in the China tea trade.
* But the China trade’s pretty much done, and this individual really needs a job…and the Rebs need her.
* Yes, HER…she’s Ellen Cressy, who really lived…and my book about how she might have found employment, loyalty, and love in mercenary service to the Confederate Navy is called “Lady Stonewall”.
* Thanks for your time, Wendy, I really appreciate your giving me the opportunity to speak with you.
That should do … thanks Drew, loved it.
Excellent on paper. Probably even better in person. Great tutorial because you gave the historical setting one sweep then set up the story problem and ended with turning the premise on its ear.
Makes the listener say “Hmmmm, I like it.” Step one. Check. Of course then we go on to the next question: What’s the writing like?
Thanks, Wendy. The writing? If my strength holds out, y’all at Books and Such may one day find out. It was fun to write.
Yes, there has to be a better way. 🙂 That practiced pitch leaves me feeling like an idiot from the moment I open my mouth. But Wendy … you are such a blessing in a moment like that.
Yes, Shelli, she is a blessing. 🙂
*Blush*
Or maybe another approach…
* Hey, Wendy, wassup? Glad to have finally caught you…you didn’t return any of my calls…well, I KNOW I’m not a client, but this is a guaranteed best-seller and…oh, wait.
* There. No, it’s OK! I just hit ‘Emergency Stop’ so that you’d have time to hear about this terrific opportunity. It’s a book about…oh, sorry, didn’t mean to step on your toes…LOVE your hair by the way…where was I?
* Right! It’s a book about a NASCAR driver who’s convinced his girlfriend his an assassin, his name’s Curt Bush and…
* Oh, you think that’s a bit too close to the whole Kurt Busch thing? Well, they can just try to PROVE I didn’t write it first. And I’ll make ’em Amish, how about that?
* Finished manuscript? ‘Course not! That’s for amateurs, and I’m an Idea Man, so I figure you can just find me a ghostwriter.
* And by the way, I think 15%’s a bit steep. Here’s my thinking…I’ll give you seven percent, and you can…
* Hey, I didn’t know there was a perfume called ‘Mace’…let me take a whiff…
This sounds like a Hollywood elevator pitch. 😉
Wendy, As someone who’s been on the other end of the “elevator pitch” on a number of occasions, I certainly agree with what you say. When you only have 15 minutes together (say, during an appointment at a conference), I can see how an agent (or editor) would like to spend at least the first third of that time getting to know the person. I’d been at this a while before I realized that the agent or editor is actually agreeing to association with the person, not just their story. I agree–slow the elevator down. And if you only have a minute or two, devote at least thirty second of that time to some kind of ice-breaker. Then again, that’s just my opinion. Thanks for sharing.
Richard, something I have come to appreciate so much in all aspects of selling, is that people don’t buy your product, your brand, your concept, your resume …. they buy you. A psychologist client said she can tell within 5 minutes of meeting a new client whether it will last or not. I suspect any agent will feel that, even if they deny it. I think that is ultimately what decides whether we get the job we apply for as well. There is a selling tool used to differentiate agents that divides them into four categories – can’t remember it all, but you should pick up cues from their work-space and the style of pictures on the wall, to suss out whether they are drivers or chatters or something in between. Having a few minutes to chat is probably always useful, but discerning what the temperament of your agent is, is as useful. I also learnt that some are seeing learners, some listeners, some talkers. Pitch wrong on that, and you will still go down like a lead balloon. A seeing learner will tend to use cues like, “I see” – so then consider drawing pictures, a graph showing the plot arc, or whatever. If they are listeners, avoid showing, tell, and if they learn by talking, engage them and let them they talk.
Sorry its not an agent tool of 4 characters, its a client/buyer tool.
You hit the nail on the head, Richard. Perhaps even more for me than any other element– it’s more about the writer than that particular story.
Richard, I appreciate the way you said “the agent or editor is actually agreeing to association with the person”.
I love reading posts like this, that offer a glimpse at how things look from an agent/editor’s side of the table. 🙂
*I have a hard time crafting the best elevator pitch. And I had an agent accuse me one year saying, “You worked hard to memorize that, didn’t you?” Ugh. She was right. That’s exactly how my pitch came across. Sigh. I’m getting better at presenting pitches conversationally.
*When I pitched at ACFW this year, I realized I knew the pitch, but when an editor said, “Tell me more about your book,” I blanked. Of course I didn’t pitch subplots or other aspects that brought conflict in the story. I wish I could go back and have a “do-over.” 🙂
*A few years ago, I remember reading a blogpost by Rachelle that emphasized the idea of taking a few moments to converse, rather than jumping into the pitch. Remember that agents/editors are people too. I’ve tried to do this when I meet with a professional. 🙂
*I’ll play along. My intro for my story is: “Would you be willing to give up safety in order to live in freedom?”
*The rest of my pitch goes along the lines of: “Widow Tiana Emory traded fame for invisibility thirteen years ago. After Amanda, her eighteen-month old daughter is hospitalized with an undiagnosed medical condition, Tiana has no money or insurance to cover the costs. But is NFL wide-receiver Carter Maddox’s offer of a job with his charitable organization her only option? Can she escape the glare of his celebrity lifestyle—and also protect her heart from wanting someone who she should never fall in love with?”
Oops! Sorry for the novel-length comment. 🙂
You snagged my interest. I’d definitely want to read this one.
Good pitch– it has all the elements of a great romance. We can sense the conflict, the ticking clock, etc. But you can see that it is a lot to take in. Perhaps a good elevator pitch is best on paper when we can read slowly and absorb all the parts.
I wonder if agents who can do complex math in their heads are better at cataloguing all the complexity of a good elevator pitch delivered in a couple of minutes?
Personally, I’d lose the intro line. Asking an editor or an agent a question about what he or she would do is almost cliche. Your storyline is too good too be connected to it.
Great job in summarizing a complex storyline. (And don’t apologize for a long comment when it is filled with great content.)
Wendy, I can imagine it would be hard to remember all the components of the elevator pitch when you hear so many!
And thanks for your suggestions for my pitch. 🙂
Jeanne,
I’d love to read your book. Your intro line is intriguing enough!
I agree with Richard. Both the agent and the author have to “click” no matter how good the elevator speech.
So true, right?
Ridiculously relieving to me.
You just have to remember that when you sit down with an editor or agent you are sitting with someone who loves story and books so much he or she has dedicated her career to it. You’ll never find anyone more open to hearing about your story. (Unless we are totally gaga which can happen at a conference.)
Ohhhh, you mean “disappear into the ground” pitches?
Ask sweet Shelli Littleton how well I do with elevator pitches.
That poor girl. Okay, everyone? Group hug. Right now.
I think she’s still traumatized from ACFW and my horrid renditions of my pitch.
If I was her, I’d have said “Oh? You want to practice it *again* How ’bout you do it while I’m using the vacuum AND the hair dryer.”
Here’s my elevator pitch : “A Dangerous Mercy is a story of Indian captivity, of underground slavery, and one man’s fight to stay alive until he can find out who he is.”
But…I can totally make it sound like I just learned English this morning, that I can’t breathe, *AND* that I just realized I forgot to put deodorant on. Oh, and I’m also choking on a cigarette butt.
All whilst on a helium bender.
Jennifer Major … you are fun … the best memory-maker! 🙂 “Disappear into the ground” … amen, sister.
“Oh? You want to practice it *again* How ’bout you do it while I’m using the vacuum AND the hair dryer.” At least she didn’t step into a tub of water as she turned on the switches. It could have been worse.
Your pitch is probably too short to let us SEE your characters and fall in love with your story. You are the exact kind of author who just needs to unwind the story (succinctly) as if on a radio interview.
I took mercy on everyone and didn’t post the script for my 2 minute pitch. But rest assured, the people on the airplane who heard it when I forgot to plug in my earbuds thought it was awesome.
I recorded it on my phone and used that to memorize it. And to air during the boring parts of the flight.
Is that why the marshals escorted you off the plane, Jennifer? You can’t blame them when they caught you mumbling, “kidnapping, captives, slavery. . .” over and over.
Ha ha! Wendy Lawton … that was a good one! 🙂 That’s why they kept her luggage!! 🙂 That excuse of sending it somewhere else … uh huh.
hahahaha!!! Well played, Wendy!! And YES! Shelli! THAT is why it came in at 1:30am!
LOL. Group hugs would lessen the trembling, that’s for sure.
I’m glad to hear the elevator speech isn’t a nail-it-or-lose item for you. I’m planning to attend the Colorado Christian Writers Conference this year. It will be my first, so I’ll be reviewing the many helpful posts your team has made about making the most of a writers conference. Many thanks for all your team does to help writers succeed!
I’ve never been in sales, but I’ve had to “sell” ideas throughout my research career. The closest thing to a scientific elevator speech is the <250-word abstract that is submitted to conference organizers to “pitch” the results of your research for inclusion in a conference session as a 15-20 minute presentation. Rejection rates are typically 20 to 40 %, so this is a high-stakes effort. It is vital to put the problem in context and reveal enough of the results to fire the enthusiasm of the session chair making the selections. Remind anyone of the 200-word back cover copy?
Presentations were a huge part of the job, and I never memorized anything. Slides of diagrams, photos, graphs, and bulleted points were triggers to draw out the words I wanted to speak. The key was practicing the talk enough times with the slides that the words flowed without being an actual recitation of a written text. My guess is that the same approach will work well for the 30-second elevator speech. Bullet the points and key phrases, practice several times, and just let it flow when you get to share with a real person. It would be natural to start with a longer list of points and pare it down to the essential ones. Those first drafts can be the guide for developing an engaging description of the book that provides extra information without getting bogged down in details when someone asks for more.
Fascinating parallel: “The closest thing to a scientific elevator speech is the <250-word abstract that is submitted to conference organizers to “pitch” the results of your research for inclusion in a conference session as a 15-20 minute presentation."
I'm guessing with this experience you'll do great.
Thank you for these insider details, Wendy. I hope to pitch in person next year. But in the meantime I enjoy making up blurbs. Here’s one I’ve only written the first five pages of and began an outline for.
Shiloh, an inspirational author in hiding, restores the garden of a handsome editor, Gray, who seems to uncover the reasons behind her fiancee’s death and her collapsed career until she discovers incriminating evidence on his property–now she doesn’t know who or what to believe, but she’s determined to dig up the truth before the killer destroys it or her.
Blessings ~ Wendy Mac
Reads like good back cover copy. 🙂
And you enjoy making up blurbs? Most writers hate them. (I’m guessing you’ll end up being flooded with pleas for help.)
Thanks, Wendy. 🙂 I keep a file of blurbs. Writing the manuscript is the hard part. My power went out this morning during NaNoWriMo writing, now I need to return to it– cause I left someone standing with their door open.
Goodness. You could come back and find that mayhem has ensued while you were on blackout. Happy NaNoWriMo!
You better get that door closed, Wendy Mac. 🙂 Too cute.
Wendy, “mayhem” turned out to be missing sentences. I suspect that auto-save, the electric company and my main character were in cahoots to drive me back to the original plan of writing the chapter where she gets to spend time with her love interest. I got her back though, and I’m clicking the save button more often now too. Nice try on her part (Shelli, my MC’s too clever for me).
At the writer’s conference I go to, we pitch in groups of 5 or 6 writers at a table with the agent or editor. That gives each writer 3-5 minutes. It goes by really fast. So the pitches I’ve done are things like…
This is the story of Jonah from the perspective of a Ninevite teen.
A young hypocrite must prove her faith on reality TV or lose her home.
and more recently…
Ten year old triplets battle prehistoric creatures at summer camp.
But if I can get that one sentence to be really fun and interesting, then the 3-5 minutes does allow the agent to ask a few questions, even if they are quick ones. I was able to attend ACFW once (in 2012) and it was really scary to have 15 whole minutes to talk. So strange, now I guess I’m used to 3-5 minutes after all.
The great thing about that is you get to watch the process between other writers and the editor. Nothing better for soaking it all in.
Janet and I did one conference that had speed dating with agents. *Groan* It was awful. Totally unproductive for both sides of the table.
Funny story. At my first writer’s conference, I had just had my first pitch appointment and had been so excited when the editor asked for my full manuscript. I was shaky, breathless, and giddy. I walked out of the pitch appointment and straight into the elevator with Rachelle Gardner! My first thought was: “Ahh! I’m on the elevator with Rachelle. I need to pitch!” Instead, I simply smiled and said: “Hi, I’m Gabrielle Meyer.” She said: “It’s nice to meet you. I’ve seen your name on the Books & Such blog.” That was literally all we had time for, because the elevator doors opened on my floor. I stood there for a moment, kind of dazed, and then exited. I can guarantee I made a better impression with her by just smiling and introducing myself, than if I had launched into a horrible pitch! As for my first pitch appointment (when the editor asked for the manuscript), one of the reasons it went so well is because the moment I sat down she said: “Tell me a little about yourself.” That enabled me to relax and allow the conversation to flow naturally. Interestingly, the agent I have (the lovely Mary Keeley), and the book contracts I have signed, have not come from formal pitch appointments (though I’ve been to plenty of them). We need to know our stories, and be able to communicate them, but above all, we should be ready to be authentic, friendly, and confident.
Perfect story, Gabrielle. I’m guessing we’d be hard pressed to find the agent-client relationship or the editor-writer relationship that happened because of an elevator pitch.
It’s really all about relationship. Our blog community understands this well. (You are the smart ones.) We come together here and get to know each other over time. Powerful.