Blogger: Janet Kobobel Grant
Location: Books & Such Main Office, Santa Rosa, Calif.
The same prisoner I wrote about yesterday was in solitary confinement the majority of his eight years as a Vietnam POW. He and other prisoners developed a “Morse” code using taps on the wall to communicate with each other. They conducted French lessons, had engineering discussions, and sent simple messages like “GBU”–God bless you. Studies show that creating that sense of community was a key factor in the men’s survival, both mentally and physically.
When I’m feeling overwhelmed by stress, one of my instincts is to tap into my circle of colleagues (on a keyboard rather than through a wall) and just be honest with them about how I’m feeling. I belong to an online group of agents formed so we could ask each other professional questions, (“Anyone else having trouble getting publishers to agree to __________ in contracts?”); keep each other informed, (“Did you hear that _________ is leaving _________Publishing House to go to ____________?”); and vent (“A publisher just went directly to one of my clients and made an offer for a contract. I’m steamed!”).
The group is a safe place for us to destress, and as one member wrote the other day, “It just isn’t the same telling my wife about my good days and bad days as it is telling this group.” Yeah, it pretty much takes an agent to understand what it feels like to be pummeled by bad publishing news one day and then to be showered with good news the next. Publishing definitely gives all of us a roller coaster ride.
Writing is such a solitary act (unless you count the characters you spend time with as you write your novel), that it’s important to form a circle of supportive colleagues, who will be your boosters in good times and bad. And who can speak truth to you when you’ve overreacted about how your next book’s cover is going to kill your writing career or when you just can’t see that what you’ve written isn’t as good as you think.
Writers conferences can be a great place to form those relationships, or critique groups (both online and in person). Editors have associations they can be a part of , and agents often have ad hoc groups where they can let off steam to each other. Who better to understand the stresses of publishing than others who are in it?
What does your circle of supportive colleagues look like?
Wendy is at the forefront! She believes in me. The past four months, my novella writing partners,Cynthia Ruchti, Becky Melby and Eileen Key, have kept me afloat with detailed critiques, prayer and encouragement. So important for an author’s first published fiction! I’ve also worked with an on-line critique group from my alma mater for eight years–I can share anything with that bunch! And ACFW Indiana rah-rahs me when I need a few pom-poms waved on my behalf. Blessings all!
Rachael, I love your line “I can share anything with that bunch!” That’s what we’re all looking for.
I am so thankful for community. It means so much to be able to share life–and my heart–with people who care and understand. Definitely “de-stresses” me too!
I can’t say enough good things about my critique buddies! The Lord providentially blessed me with the five ladies I was grouped with “pot luck” through ACFW. We’ve grown together, prayed, coached, cheered, and commisserated together. They each have a unique perspective and a unique way of ministering.
Through an ACFW online course, I met another friend. She and I have similar styles, so we brainstorm and critique for each other, too. That’s a different type of relationship, but both are valuable to me in their own way.
Finally, and also through ACFW, I met another Christian fiction writer in my town. (This was a real God-thing because my town is not that big!) This relationship has been valuable because this friend is a few years ahead of me in the writing process. She has been a mentor and great encourager.
You are very right about the importance of good support along the journey!
I’m lucky enough to be in two different critique groups who keep me up when I’m down, and grounded when I have my head in the clouds. One is local, and it’s great to get together for lunch, critiques and sharing. The other is online, and we live from Alaska to New York. They are not only a great bunch of writers who help me create my best work, but are also great friends who support each other through writing and life.
I am super-blessed to attend church with three other published authors, and we encourage each other.
I also find that having a life outside of publishing and writing helps with stress. My identity is more than my writing.
Setting the hook on a 5-pound largemouth bass makes up for a whole lot of rejection slips.
Haha, I agree with Bill. Love getting away from my computer and hanging out with people who don’t care about sentence structure. But I’ve never caught a 5-pound bass, or any-pound bass for that matter. 🙂 I also love my critique groups. I’m in two and their advice/support has been instrumental in improving my writing.
Most of my closest friends are from critique groups. What would we do without other writers who understand it all?