Blogger: Rachel Kent
In the publishing industry we are all juggling many tasks and often wear multiple “hats” each day. I know authors who are currently working on edits for one book, writing a second book, and putting a proposal together for another series. And most of those authors are also spouses, homeowners, and/or parents, and they might hold down a day job. It’s exhausting to think about what we all are responsible for each day. Whew! Let’s take a moment to take a deep breath and give ourselves a pat on the back. Good job, everyone!
I’ve noticed recently that my clients are doing something wonderful for me. They have been giving me dates to expect their work from them. Sometimes it’s a complete manuscript and other times a finished proposal, but it has been very helpful. When I know what is coming at me in the near future, I can start to plan for it before it comes. And if I know that I will have five projects coming at the end of the month, I might ask two of those five authors to push back their dates by a couple of weeks. Those two authors would be selected based on the urgency of the work needed from me. If an author needs feedback before a deadline, they would have to take priority over an author who is waiting for me to read a revised manuscript that we haven’t pitched yet. Hopefully knowing that I need a little extra time allows those authors to slow down and take more time with the work at hand–or they can put another job as top priority for a couple of weeks.
With these little self-imposed deadlines my clients are informing me of, I feel less stressed and I’ve been able to manage my time more effectively. I hope it has also helped my clients to feel more productive as well!
So, thank you, dear clients! And I hope this tip helps other writers and agents, too!
How do you manage your daily stress? Do you exercise? Watch TV? Nap? Read? Bake?
I usually read, but recently I’ve just been falling asleep when I read, so books are very slowly being enjoyed. I also like going to the gym, but trying to figure out when to go has been more stressful than it’s worth recently. I’ll get back to it soon!
Is there something you could do in your own life to help reduce stress?
Good communication–a concept writers should easily embrace. In my day job, I give my manager regular updates on routine projects and a heads-up when circumstances send me off the expected path. It seems to me, Rachel, that the same process would serve the author/agent relationship.
*Good communication is also a stress-buster. Friends, family and coworkers cut me some slack when I let them know my schedule (or my brain) is stretched to its limit.
*Best stretch-buster: prayer. Martin Luther said he needed to spend even more time in prayer on a day when he had too much to do.
Yes, good communication can be a stress buster! And prayer too! “Cast all your cares on him, for he cares for you.”
I’d love to get some creative recommendations for stress relief! My husband passed away in January and learning to juggle caring for two little ones and taking care of myself after just moving is a huge challenge. Writing is so therapeutic, but I haven’t been able to dedicate regular time to it yet.
*Laughter has always been the best stress reducer for me, so I’m making friends who will keep me laughing!
Becky, I’m so sorry for your loss. Good for you to surround yourself with friends that help you find joy and something to laugh about.
You’ll find time to write. There’s a season for everything and the writing season will return. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot this year and you haven’t given up. One day you’ll get into a groove with your new normal, and you’ll find the time to write.
Blessings to you!
Thanks, Jackie!
Becky, what worked for me, while I was well enough to do it, was sheet-metal forming. It’s what is called a ‘lost art’, that of using mallet and whatever you have lying around (a shot bag is helpful; I don’t have one) to form the kind of compound-curved metal pieces you seen on Ferraris and WW2-era fighter aircraft (‘compound curved’ means that the metal curves in two directions at once; think pushing your fist into a sheet of thin rubber…the bump has compound curvature).
* It’s a process of hammering (sometimes veeeery gently and feeling, and then comparing the piece to a wooden ‘buck’ thatgives out the broad outlines of what you’re trying to achieve. It can be utterly absorbing. And it’s NOT a ‘guy thing’. It takes delicacy, and a high degree of feel to find subtle bumps and valleys that shouldn’t be there, and loads of patience to ‘chase’ them to the edge of the workpiece. You can’t just hit it harder. You have to think like metal.
* I hope and pray that this might give you some inspiration – and I pray for you, and your little ones.
Thank you!
And, you know, if ummmm, sheet metal ain’t your thing, I’ve found that making my own jewelry is fun, creative, and sorta cheaper than buying it.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Becky. *hugs*
Thanks, Jill.
Becky – Wise choice, laughter. It heals, as you have obviously discovered. I find walking the dog is helpful for me. I live in the country, so our mile-or-more trek takes us by hay fields where meadow larks sing, horses and cattle graze, and the world slips away. I think if I walked far enough, I’d enter heaven’s pastures. But I want to encourage you about the ‘me’ time. I got sick of people telling me that – to take care of myself. However, they were right, and I feel less selfish about it now. Consider it stewardship. Who will care for your children if you are not healthy emotionally and physically? A ‘creative recommendation’ I’d share is coloring – like your children may do (I don’t know their ages, but what child can resist markers and crayons? Washable, of course!) At ACFW, the B&S agents gave clients their choice of a beautiful ‘coloring’ book and a set of colored pencils. Evidently, it’s quite the rage lately. A real stress reducer.
Davalynn – I actually bought myself a coloring book and pencils about a month ago and your comment reminded me. I’ll have to go find it and put it somewhere where I’ll actually remember to do it!
So sorry for your loss, Becky.
Which sounds SO pathetic after reading your blog for quite a few heart stopping minutes.
Oh honey, MANY hugs!!
Jennifer – thanks for your kind words. “I’m sorry” is still the best sentiment when other words seem to fail. And thanks for taking a few minutes to read the blog.
I’m so sorry for your loss!
One stress reliever is to ask for help. You can’t do it all yourself and many people around you are willing and ready to help if you ask. Don’t be afraid (or ashamed) to do so. Likely people at your church and your friends are just waiting to know your needs.
Thanks, Rachel. I’m learning!
Becky, I’m so sorry for your loss. My humble recommendation would be for you to just keep a journal for now. This will give you a chance to use writing as a form of therapy without the pressure of creative perfection. God bless.
Thank you, Lara. I do journal, but not quite enough. Thanks for the reminder!
Becky, thank you for sharing your heart hurt with us. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. Committing your future to the Lord.
Jenni, thank you. I appreciate it.
Alexander Solzhenitsyn had a cellmate, a former Army officer who was a constant source of good cheer and humour, a man who, in the confines of an eight-foot-square cell shared with two other men kept himself physically and mentally fit.
* Of the three, he was the only one who had been sentenced to death.
* Stresses come from uncertainty; my personal battle is defined, and I’m at peace.
Some days a ten to fifteen minute nap between coming home and starting to write rejuvenates me.
I smiled when you suggested baking as a way to relieve stress. That just adds to my stress level!
I appreciate you sharing your tips on good communication. It’s nice to get a glimpse at an agent’s schedule.
Have a great weekend!
I used to love Experimental Baking; the dogs would destroy the evidence of failure, like a meringue that would have made a passable Frisbee.
I’m with you on the baking thing! I don’t enjoy cooking or baking. 🙂
Here is a thought – from Pastor Kerry Shook:
* Our stresses come from our doing what is urgent, rather than that which is truly important.
I first heard this about eight years ago and it’s still so true. I find it helpful to keep this perspective even though it’s hard to filter the constant messages from culture and people around me that urgent is urgent and, as a result, must be important.
*Thanks for the reminder.
I only agree with this somewhat.
Taking care of my daughter stresses me out at times, and I can’t just give that up. Focusing on her is truly important. Truly important things can be stressful too. They can also be empowering and energizing, but they are sometimes stressful.
We have four children. Two are on their own with jobs, and two are at home, with less fun jobs. To say that my stress level has dropped is an understatement!
One thing I did to reduce my stress level is give up caring about what other people think. If someone disagrees with me changing my lifestyle to live my dream, then they never understood me in the first place. Most of my local friends are freaking out, FREAKING OUT, that I actually met Francine Rivers last month. These friends are over the moon for me, because they see what coming out of the woods and living in the bright light of my secret dream has done for me.
I am less stressed now than I was for decades, because I gave up hiding behind fear.
What can I do to reduce my stress right now? I’m hoping to stay ahead of the housework, because coming home to a tidy house was nice. It wasn’t “clean”, but it was tidy. All the laundry was done, the kitchen was very orderly and I realized they can survive without me. And for that, I have my husband to thank.
Jennifer, you made me laugh with your Francine Rivers remark. When I told my daughter I’d met the renowned author, she was impressed that I didn’t kiss the woman’s hand. However, I did fail to introduce myself, and just led with something like ‘I’m so happy to meet you.’ Very gracious woman, I must say. Regarding housework, like you, tidy trumps deep-clean for me every time, and that helps with the stress. So does walking the dog every morning.
I never said I didn’t kiss her hand. 😉
And there were a few very smiley people around her doing the “we look nice, but we’re trying to get her out of here before she catches something from all this fawning and squealing”.
Kind of like royalty.
Of course, one way to reduce stress is to do something for someone else. To that end, here’a a blog post by Joanna Davidson (Cindy Herron linked to her), but be warned – you will need a box of Kleenex handy. I am not ashamed to admit that I did.
* http://joannadavidson.com/2015/10/14/true-stories-raining-down-kisses/
Thank you for always making time for your clients’ needs! We appreciate you. 🙂
I haven’t been able to read a novel in a month or two. My brain is too high-strung right now, so I’m reading a chapter of a non-fiction each morning. And I hear you on the gym. Ugh. I’ve been doing a 5 minute crossfit workout twice a day just to keep moving! I really need to get my exercising back on track…
One thing I’ve been doing to reduce my stress is to watch college football on Saturdays with my husband. Even if we have a weekend full of other commitments, I love lounging around in comfy clothes, yelling at the TV and eating junk food. It’s a great stress reliever!
Have a wonderful weekend!!
My husband and I have been re-watching some X-Files episodes in preparation for the new season! 🙂 I have a hard time relaxing while watching TV though because I always feel like I should be folding laundry. Sigh! I need to do better at taking time to actually relax!
Staying ahead of deadlines is helpful for me. 🙂 Breathe. Keeping the house clean and chores done is helpful … keeping a routine … but sometimes you just have to give yourself a break. And I love that Becky said laughter. And I agree with Jackie that baking/cooking just adds more stress because that means cleaning more. 🙂 And a good book … ah, yes.
**I did find a recipe from Kathi Macias recently for peanut butter cookies … so easy, no stress, little clean-up. 1 cup peanut butter, 1 cup sugar, 1 egg … make one-inch balls, crisscross pattern with fork, bake at 350 for 10 minutes. So yummy.
Shelli, you’re so stinking cute! (Don’t know why I said that, but after having met you at ACFW all I can picture is your sweet smile!) I, too, find a clean house and finished chores relaxing. And those cookies sound so yummy!
Aww … thank you, Teresa. 🙂 I was smiling when I wrote it thinking about cookies! 🙂
Oh, so you’re baking again???
Umm, I’ll be at Love field tomorrow. WAY easier than DFW.
Yeah … Love Field … I still get tickled thinking about it. It’s like … open the door and jump out. Insane. 🙂 You know me … I like to linger on my goodbyes. Byyyyeeee. 🙂 Hugs. Byyyyeeee. Hugs. And well … I hoped to bake cookies today. For the retreat, we’re supposed to bring snacks for tonight. I thought about chocolate, but it’d be my luck to get a headache from it. But I’m running out of time (here I am on the B&S blog like I have time) … I’ve got to go over my notes again before I leave. I’m just about packed. 🙂
Ha ha! I just thought of the real way I handle stress. Go into the bathroom and lock the door. 🙂 Like I even have a lock on my bathroom door. I used to.
yeah, I noticed that.
Oh, did you find all the Hershey wrappers in there?
Laughter and good friends are so important! 🙂
Great post, Rachel. I can’t imagine anyone not relating to this. I agree with others below, but this concept of thoughtful communication is so key. My day job employs me as a Director of Communications. I can’t tell you how much of my job revolves around encouraging the smallest practices of the principle. Courtesy to reply to an email within a reasonable time, even if just to acknowledge you’ve seen the message. Sharing schedules, like you mention. Even body language in meetings. The sharing of deadlines that you talk about reminds me of how my husband and I share a “Family Calendar” linked between our two iPhones and desktop computers. No, I don’t need to necessarily see all of his lunch meetings and he doesn’t need to know which days I’ll get my hair cut during a break. But it helps us appreciate what’s going on in the other’s life and builds on the two-person community of our relationship. I love this concept of fostering a community within relationships because it suggests camaraderie, shared vision/goals, respect, and equal responsibility. I can see the same being vital within a community of author/agent. As for stress release, I’ve had lots of practice in this. I tend to be a bit naturally high-strung. For me, simple deep repetitive breaths and stretches can do wonders to clear my head. Music and a walk really help, too.
Teresa, I used to have a sign in my office, “Every problem is a communication problem.” I should make myself a new one.
Shirlee, that’s great!
Music! I can’t believe I didn’t think of that. Music is so helpful as a stress reducer.
And thanks for sharing about communication. What an interesting job you have!
It is SO interesting, Rachel. And keeps me on my toes daily!
Rachel, I appreciate your thoughtful prioritizing of projects and keeping communications open. Planning ahead is a skill I’ve had to refine but it certainly pays a high dividend. Thank you for your relationship-based approach to agenting.
Thanks, Davalynn! It’s a pleasure to be working with you! 🙂
What a great idea, Rachel. See, this is why I read this blog…one of the reasons, it also houses a great writers community, because of these little tips and things that I would never know otherwise. When you are immersed in a job, these things might appear obvious, but to the rest of us it is a magical peek into another world, one that we hope to be a part of. This is one way I could be a great client for someone if I am ever able to get an agent. Golden info, thank you.
Rachel, there was a time that I also fell asleep every time I tried to read. It turned out I needed reading glasses, even though it didn’t seem like any strain. Glasses made a HUGE difference. But being a mom busy little ones can also produce the ability to doze off the moment you sit in quiet… 🙂
I do wear glasses (well, contacts), Camille. But it is time for my appointment to get my eyes checked.
And yes, I think it is that I am so busy with my daughter all the time. She never stops going!
I fall asleep reading too, unless I get myself a cup of tea and sit up in a comfy chair to read instead of in bed. An important pastime and relaxant, sometimes I will even drink coffee so that I can stay awake to read…or eat chocolate!
Thank you! So good to know.
In my down time, I love to cook, read, and go to the Y. 🙂 I’ve taken a knitting class a few years ago. I’d like to get a lot better at it. I’m so impressed with Lisa Bogart! I’d like to just follow her around and watch her knit.
Lisa made an adorable sweater for my daughter when she was born. It is SO cute. I hope we get to use it again someday in the future.
One of my most powerful forms of stress relief is making time for friends. I have a manuscript due in a few weeks, so I basically live in my bedroom/office these days. As a non-driver I can’t hop in the car any time I need to get out. After too much time alone, particularly when my writing days require reliving painful memories, my mood suffers, and when that happens everyone around me suffers as well. One friend and I meet for coffee on a regular basis (usually once a week). If she can’t meet for some reason, I contact someone I haven’t connected with in a while. Another friend and I have this thing about calling on each other when we “need pie,” which is usually code of “Help!!! I’m freaking out!” I’m not one to eat when I’m stressed, but something about pie with Julie always makes me happy.
As writers I think it’s important to make time for people, have conversations about something other than our current projects, laugh, and just get out of our own heads for a while.
I ate lunch at a picnic table by walking trails and bluffs in the foothills today. Does that count? Yes! Nature is a stress reliever. I can feel the layers of tension melt away when I visit the great outdoors or even sit out in the patio looking at the blue sky and cloud formations. Sigh. Aww, good! Yep. When I get moody or in a funk once in awhile, out come the candles, some music which elevates the spirit and maybe even a good book or writing implement. I like to pause and consider, I do this best when the quietness of aloneness enters and the business of the urgent takes a hike. I can’t always do this, but I do as much as possible. Another good thing is to call a friend or meet up for a coffee. Just don’t invite your negative friend or you will feel uninspired by the time you’re done! Rachel’s invitation to comment on stress relievers made me think of a blog post I wrote earlier this summer after I spent a week doing a jigsaw puzzle…by setting aside the tyranny of the urgent. Boy did it feel good. Begging your pardon for posting a little self stuff :0) http://www.nlbrumbaugh.com/6-pick-me-uppers-you-can-do-by-yourself-on-a-bad-day/
This sounds crazy, but I’ve taken up learning nail art. As in nail polish. It keeps me occupied and constructively distracted from writing stress. The creativity flows over into my writing. And my nails look cute too!