Blogger: Mary Keeley
I’m away at our agency’s bi-annual client retreat and won’t be able to respond to your comments today. But I hope this topic on how to create a professional persona for industry professionals will generate lots of conversation, affirmation, and insights among you. I look forward to reading them when I’m back in the office.
Your Verbal Interaction with Professionals
Myers-Briggs Foundation makes the distinction between extroverts and introverts this way. Simply summarized, extroverts re-charge their energy when they are actively involved with people. Introverts re-charge their energy by being off by themselves with time to reflect. You can get a more comprehensive explanation here.
I think it’s fair to say that among the publishing culture as a whole, most writers and editors and even agents are at least mild introverts. A strong extrovert wouldn’t have the patience to enjoy sitting at a computer with their ideas being their only companions for long stretches of time. Here are several traits of each type and tips for your interactions:
Introverts:
- Tend to be good listeners. TIP: You may be more likely to pick up on nuances in a conversation or meeting and adjust what you planned to say for a positive result.
- Your energy can be used up quickly after a situation in which you have to interact socially or professionally. TIP: Schedule quiet time afterward to recharge. If you are asked to join a group socially afterward, feel comfortable being honest and saying something like, “Thanks for the invitation, but I just used up all my words; I need some downtime to re-charge.”
Extroverts:
- Can be very effective communicators. TIP: This is a great asset for a professional persona when you use it wisely (see next bullet point).
- Can talk too much, risking a slick, unpolished impression. TIP: Same as for your writing, don’t be so wordy that you bury the real substance of what you want to say under a lot of superficial banter.
- Can carry on too much small talk, which can tire out the introverted agent, editor, or audience before you get to the point of what you want to present. TIP: Be quiet for the first few minutes to discern if the professional you are meeting with is an introvert or extrovert. Adapt your approach accordingly.
Your Personal Image
You are the primary representative for your work. A blend of confidence, friendliness, and professionalism is necessary in communicating in the business side of your career. Here are a few contributing factors.
- Dress appropriately for a business meeting with publishing professionals. TIP: It’s especially important for your first meeting with an editor and later with your publishing team to be current in dress code and style. They will evaluate you on your polished appearance. You might think this is harsh and unfair, but understand they are viewing you a one of their authors and as such, you will be representing the publishing house.
- Always be on time for interviews, meetings, PR events, and book signings. TIP: Pad your schedule with extra time to allow for traffic jams, getting lost, construction zones. On the flip side, don’t arrive half an hour early, giving the impression you didn’t remember the meeting time correctly or that you are an eager amateur.
- Cultivate that confident, friendly demeanor I mentioned. TIP: Scripture is loaded with affirmations like, “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm139: 13 -14a). This is your foundation. I also suggest you read a book on the subject by a Christian author, like Carol Kent’s Speak Up with Confidence: A Step-by-Step Guide for Speakers and Leaders, where you’ll find many helpful tips.
I hope you enjoy a lively discussion sharing experiences, good and failed. Offer additional tips, observations, and encouragements.
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I tend to be more of an introvert. But I do love conversation and laughing with friends. I have to watch out for nervous chatter.
Being in a large gathering is internally stressful for me. If I don’t take Excedrin ahead of time, I’ll usually have a headache afterwards, regardless of how much I enjoyed the event. Wish it weren’t so.
I have a silly question that I’ve been pondering regarding women’s dress attire. At the ACFW’s gala, are there ever bare toes or are toes always covered with hose? 🙂
Shelli, in answer to your question about the Gala: no you don’t have to wear panty hose. Lots of women wear sandals (often with lots of sparkle!). Some people wear hose, but many do not. 🙂
Thank you, Jeanne! 🙂
Great post and suggestions – thanks!
I went through formal training for this, in a different career. The course was informally called “Be Who God Never Intended You To Be”, and it was specifically designed to allow members of that profession to move comfortably in society without giving a hint of their identity, capabilities, or intentions.
The cornerstone in building this kind of professional persona was to start from within one’s own comfort zone, and move outward. being disarming – so to speak – requires a sense of what’s best described as “balance”, and you can’t be balanced if you’re constrained within an ill-fitting hair shirt.
If a rustic, going the Brooks Brothers route becomes a costume, not suited to the intended function. Something will eventually give off the wrong signal.
It’s important to be up-to-date, Looking slightly out-of-fashion is a memory hook for the person with whom you’re talking, and not a good one.
In speech, try to identify mannerisms, and gently ease them out. Getting rid of a thick regional accent takes a lot of work, but making the effort to avoid region-specific slang is a positive step.
Jargon was also taught as something to avoid; we were told to speak simply and plainly, in short and well-groomed sentences.
And grooming – contemporary conservative, not cutting-edge. As in dress, it’s important not to look slightly outdated.
Grooming standards should include a close shave (for men), flawless makeup (for women), and the plucking of unwanted hairs, especially nose hairs. It’s another memory hook that you don’t want.
Find a breath mint that works with your body chemistry; some do, some don’t.
Likewise for perfume or cologne. It was important to wear some (though not as much these days), but again – match it to your body, and be subtle. What smells good to you often does NOT smell good to those around you. (Kind of like head tones, when singing – you sound on key to yourself, but are scaring babies in the real world.)
Handshake should be firm, and a one-pump. Up, down, release. No bone-crushers, no limp-as-a-dead-fish, and definitely no two-handed-hold-on-till-the-cows-come-home abominations.
Eye contact – make eye contact, but don’t stare; you’re not channeling my Jack Russell staring down a cat (he loses every time, and never learns).
Practice good posture, with a book on your head. It works.
Practice good diction, using clean pebbles in your mouth and speaking around them. This also works.
When you arrive, state your name clearly. When you leave, say thank you, goodbye, and don’t linger. Make sure before going in that your back has no clinging strings or dust streaks, and that the heels of your shoes are polished. People notice this, for some reason.
The point in all of this is not to be physically remarkable or highly singular in manner; to blend in and never let people know what you really are.
This may seem counterproductive for a professional writing persona, but I think it’s not; at least not completely.
What this approach can do is minimize the parts of a personality – and we all have them – that cause friction. We usually don’t recognize our strengths, and all to often we put forward our weaknesses. Using the technique above, we can avoid this.
The other benefit is that reducing the amount of personality in the persona increases room for showcasing what you do.
I agree with most of what you said, Andrew, but Please! Keep the regional accent! I listen better to someone with a twang different than my own.
I like the concept of reducing the friction. But God is pushing me to be more transparent and genuine–in writing and in person. I naturally tend to minimize my weaknesses (I want everyone to think I’m wonderful). I keep hearing God’s “keep it honest, Kid.”
Shirlee,
I’m behind you. I hear the same voice.
That’s why these meetings are great since we also interview people we want to work with to see what they value.
If we center ourselves around God, not appearances, the world would be a much better place.
Some people are more blessed than others.
People have limitations. A person after a stroke can have a slurred speech, a disfigured face. People have scars, discolored skin, blemishes.
People who don’t have money to be current in dress code and style might have Ph.D.
We should also ask ourselves. Who are we writing for?
Doc. Hensley said you should be writing for bus drivers. People need to indentify with your characters.
People indentify with real people.
I think of my readers when I write. I want my readers to indentify with my characters and their struggles. I pray and write from my heart.
And yes, I’m not perfect. Many can identify with my weaknesses.
Good points, Andrew. However, I’d say leave off the cologne/perfume. Many workplaces today are discouraging or even banning fragrances due to the number of people who are sensitive/allergic to them.
A side note that may be useful – this morning, a couple of hours before sunrise, I saw the gegenschein, dust lying in the plane of the ecliptic, lit by the sun.
It’s a rare sight, and entrancingly beautiful.
Perhaps this is a good way to look at our persona – we are dust, and but can shine gloriously when lit by the Light of the Son.
We need a purifier, don’t we, Andrew?! 🙂 And we have One!
Got me tickled thinking how when the light shines in the house at certain times, you can see the dust particles floating around. Ugh. Our cat can see them at all times and is always batting at them. We forget they are there … but need to be aware.
I love it, Andrew.
I am a mix of extrovert and introvert. Years ago, when I took the Meyers-Briggs test, I tested as extroverted. I’ve come to find it depends on the situation. If I’m in a new place with people I don’t know, I am more of an introvert, trying to get a sense of the atmosphere and people before I tiptoe into the situation.
One time my extroverted tendencies may have served me well was when I was in the selection process for the jury for a murder trial. It was a weeks’ long process of filling out questionnaires, being questioned by the prosecutor and the defenders. And called into the courtroom. They would select and dismiss people to sit in the jury box. I ended up in one of those seats about two days before the trial was to begin. I wasn’t rude, but I started chatting with the people around me, getting to know them. Being my version of friendly. I can’t prove it, but I still wonder if that got me dismissed one day before the trial was to begin. 🙂
Jeanne, I’m an intro/extrovert mix, too. I suspect most people are. In my case, the introvert is dominant, but like you, when I’m comfortable I can get chatty.
And I think you’re right about the jury selection. Lawyers on either side of a trial probably don’t want chummy jurors.
I haven’t had any meetings with publishers yet, but it will be a nice excuse to buy some nicer clothes. I’ve been out of the workforce for 13 years and it’s time I start building a more professional wardrobe for when the time comes. I think I’ll start a Pinterest board to get started with inspiration.
I need to read that book, too. I am terrible with small talk and meeting people. But when I was working outside the home, I was much more extroverted. I think it’s because my role (as a preschool teacher) required it. Hopefully once I get some practice, those skills will come back 🙂
I am very much an introvert. I find myself getting all twitchy if I am forced to attend too many BBQ’s or events with…people at them with my more extroverted hubby. I can be loud and friendly, but I tire of talk quickly and need to recover by myself. My hubby is great at buying me a new e-book and sending me off for a few hours at a coffee shop after we have had a lot of people over. We live at a Bible camp and so people are in and out all the time. But books, ah books, they soothe an introverts soul!
At this year’s ACFW conference, I hosted the Spotlight workshop of one of the editors with whom I had an appointment. That helped me so much to be more relaxed the next day when we met.
I love that, Terri. Just getting involved really helps. Last night, I face painted little children’s faces … for our church trunk or treat. As I sat there, thoroughly enjoying the task, I thought to myself: I can’t believe I’m not nervous with all these parents hovering over. But I was enjoying what I was doing and confident (and I never looked up at them :)). And I know having worked with kids all these years, getting involved, helped my nerves. 🙂
Mary, I appreciate your mention of using discernment when interacting with others. So much is revealed in body language.
I tend to chatter more when I’m nervous, but being winsome is my goal. We all want to be memorable for the right reasons.
Which leads me to my next point. :-)It was a pleasure to meet you at the retreat this week.
Sorry Terri. Posted in the wrong place.
What an absolutely creative post! I love the insights about introverted and extroverted communication. Thanks, Mary!
Good post. If we are to know how others see us we need to know ourselves. Me? Introvert disguised as an extrovert. The Army trained me to step out in confidence even when I don’t feel like it. Have learned to take more than one “breather” a day to recharge my batteries.
One of my biggest challenges as a writer is being an extrovert in a mostly introverted world. I’ve learned to ask more questions, make introductions,and praise the introverts in front of the people they would like to meet. I gladly share my energy and try not to zap theirs. At my last writers retreat we’d had three days of learning and socializing. When it ended all the introverts headed to their hotel rooms and I was alone- all revved up with no place to go!
Oh Mindy, You do not know how happy you made me when you ran up and hugged me at the NWCWR that one time. “Oh wow, someone remembered me!” I was thinking. Since I can’t make the monthly meetings, I’m used to being a new face every year. It was so nice to be recognized, and did not scare me even though I’m very much an introvert. Although, when my sister and I go to the conference that is our big/only weekend out every year and we are much much more extroverted than normal. So you might not realize we are not normally that giggly. But thank you for welcoming me in your extravagant extroverted way.
Thanks, Kristen, for the encouraging comment. I love seeing you each year and look forward to selling your book on our book table some year…Lord-willing! Rooting for you!
If you see a hockey player walking down the street, you’d never know he’s a professional athlete.
But you put the skates on him, and he becomes a beast.
Don’t forget your skates.
Mary, I appreciate your mention of using discernment when interacting with others. So much is revealed in body language.
I tend to chatter more when I’m nervous, but being winsome is my goal. We all want to be memorable for the right reasons.
Which leads me to my next point. :-)It was a pleasure to meet you at the retreat this week.
I feel great when I wear my jeans or yoga pants. Though I don’t dress up that way when I go to work.
I try to approach people with an open heart. I don’t like to pretend to be someone I’m not. God doesn’t judge us by our looks.
Sister Theresa never dressed to show off, nor Pope Francis. He’s huble and love shines through him.
And that’s what I’m trying to give and receive as well. Nobody’s perfect. Have God in the center of all meetings and everything else will fall into place.
Amen!
When i was in academia, I tried – for a while – to dress the part until I realized that there was no way I could LOOK like an academic.
It was time to be comfortable.
So I went to tight black jeans, a red or orange t-shirt, black boots, a white dinner jacket, and wraparound sunglasses.
I looked like an Oriental Don Johnson, from the Miami Vice days.
And I acquired a treasured nickname…Secret Asian Man.
Andrew, you cracked me up. I have a video for you. 🙂 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hIp0F5x7_g&list=PLA4700B422D10A98C
All about Secret Asian Man…
When I started attending writers conferences it was the first time I was out in public as a WRITER and not a MOMMY. Other than making sure I didn’t have boogers and spit-up on my clothes, I didn’t know how to dress. Took awhile to find my style. But, nobody made a video about me…