Blogger: Michelle Ule
Note: I’m substitute blogging for Wendy today, who is out of the office on a medical leave while she’s recovering from surgery. She’s mending well.
How do I love “that?” Let me count the ways.
I love that whether “that” fits or not; “that” turns up so often that I’m forced to acknowledge that such a word can take over a manuscript with that little effort.
How many “thats” is too many?
I recently completed a novella, An Inconvenient Gamble, and after allowing Microsoft Word to have its way with grammar and spell check, I turned to another important feature: “find and replace.”
I use it frequently to make sure my writing is clear and uncluttered. Like many authors, I have a list of words I tend to overuse. When I begin editing, I start with my personal list and seek out all of them. I examine every sentence in which my overused words–that, was, some, just, and well–turn up in a manuscript.
“That” is a word I’ve come to hate, and so I start with it on my search-out-and-destroy mission. “That” tends to clutter the sentence, and so I review each occurrence, appalled when it appears more than once, and generally change it if I can. Obviously, “that” needs to be used on occasion, but try this test: reread any sentence with a “that” in it and see if you can make it stronger. If you’ve got two “thats” in one sentence, you have work to do. Get rid of at least one “that”!
(“That” doesn’t count as an overuse if it’s in quotation marks. ) 🙂
“Was,” of course, is the passive form of “to be” and indicates you may need to strengthen your sentence with a better verb. I look at all of the “was(es),” particularly when they make up part of a gerund (“was reading”), and try to figure out how to rewrite the sentence to make it stronger and not use the gerund.
Obviously, “was” is a perfectly good verb, but if you think about it, you might find a better way to word your sentence and make it more interesting.
I try not to have more than one or two “was” sentences on any given page.
“Some,” “just” and “well” are modifiers, and I often use them when I don’t want to make a declarative statement–I’m hedging. When I find them, I usually excise them, and the sentence improves. Just try it.
I also examine “ly” and look at all those adverbs and adjectives. Some are important, but many, well, they just don’t need to be there. 🙂
After my initial “find and replace” with An Inconvenient Gamble, I wondered if the manuscript might contain words I didn’t realize I overused. How would I know what those words were?
Wouldn’t it be great if I could find a program to read my entire manuscript and point out how many times I used each word?
Back in the 1970s, my father-in-law, Louis Ule, wrote masterful computer programs using key punch cards to examine word usages for Elizabethan playwrights William Shakespeare and Christopher Marlowe. He used the information to write concordances of the playwrights’ entire canon. (He discovered a high correlation between Marlowe’s and Shakespeare’s word usage, causing him to believe Marlowe wrote Shakespeare, but that’s another story…)
Unfortunately, we can’t access those programs on our modern computers.
Fortunately, Books & Such client Jan Kern knew of such a program and sent me to Word Counter, a free program “that ranks the most frequently used word in any given text.”
I put my 20,000-word manuscript into the program. The results were informative. Eight of the top ten words were either names of the main characters or nouns related to the story–in this case, “horse.” (An Inconvenient Gamble takes place on a horse farm.)
But the other two of the top ten words surprised me: “back” and “get.” I used “back” 57 times in 20,000 words; “get” 49.
I returned (as opposed to “went back”) to “find and replace” and made alterations. “Did” was number 11. I did have trouble altering the sentences to remove some of those “dids.”
Books & Such author Michael Reynolds warned it probably wasn’t a good idea to put your entire manuscript into a program operating solely in cyberspace. He thought it would be safer to buy the program,put it on your own computer, and thus retain control of your work.
That’s a good suggestion. I haven’t found such a program, however.
Another tool that might be beneficial for writers telling a story in the point of view of their opposite gender, is The Gender Genie. In this program, you type in a paragraph or two, and the genie tells you the author’s likely sex based on word usage.
The Gender Genie just confirmed this blog post was written by a woman. 🙂
For those curious, Word Counter indicated the top words for this blog post (excluding “a,” “the,” and such) were: “word,” “sentence,” “program,” “two” and “manuscript.”
And “that?”
Twenty-one times. But who’s counting?
What tricks or tools do you use to clarify, simplify, or help you to ensure variety in your word choices?
Super interesting post, Michelle. I pasted the first 500 words or so of my book onto The Gender Genie and it nailed me as a female, but it also highlighted the most-used words. “Was” appeared more often than I care to admit.
Kendra Fletcher » LOL. Computer programs can be very handy tools!
Ooooh. I love this!!
I try to limit myself from repeating words with the theory that if I used a “money word” in the last 8 chapters, to hit the thesaurus for a different word. Obviously words like “horse” are going to get trotted out quite a bit, since my MS takes place on an Arizona ranch. “That” is also one that I scout for, in case it tries to master the herd.
I did noticed, since my heroine has suffered a lifetime of trauma, that she tends to cry a little more than her sister. There are only so many ways one can describe crying, so I have to balance those.
Since my (way totally cool and awesome trip to the Navajo Nation that may end up in yet another trip with some different people all the way to Canyon De Chelly!!!)I have learned that my hero’s name is “far too Lakota Sioux” and has been changed to a proper Navajo name. As were the names of his first wife and his first two children. (Oh wait, what des she mean “first”???)
As I learned a while back, I can’t be married to names or titles. So I changed what I had to change. Trust me, it is best NOT to mess with a 4 1/2 foot tall , aging Navajo grandmother. Noooo. No it is NOT.
😉
Wise words.
About the crying, Jennifer, try not to stress too much over this. There ARE only so many ways to say it and sometimes simple is not so bad. IMHO there is a fine line between making sure you’re not being gratingly repetitive and sounding like you’re writing from the inside of a thesaurus.
And felicitous greetings to you, crimson-haired trekker! My heart is joyful at your homecoming, despite the vexing process of your end-journey. 😉
“Moue”…yet another totally awesome word completely useless in a novel about a Bostonian and a Navajo.
Jennifer Major » LOL. There must be a great word in the Navajo language, though. Use it and mystify us!
Okay, now I messed up the comments…
Jennifer Major @Jjumping » My characters are always smiling . . . which is tricky–maybe they smile too much? Grin works, of course, but has a cheeky aspect to it. No one understands “moue,” so I’m back to using dialogue to show good humor. Maybe it’s better that way? 🙂
I think I do alright with dialogue in describing the mood. Since I could talk a mountain down to a molehill, dialogueis one thing I’ve (hopefully) not had a problem with. As for ending a sentence with a preposition…believe it or not, that is rare for me.
Je ne comprend ‘moue’? Quelle est?
Jennifer Major @Jjumping » Halfway between a kiss and a smile, unless I have the word wrong, of course! 🙂
grin/cheeky? Nicely done…
Michelle, I left you another comment, up at Christine’s.
😉
Michelle, you gave me some chuckles this morning. 🙂 Great post, and I appreciate the resources. “That,” “Just” and “Some” are my weasel words. As I’m editing through my wip, I read through it first. Then I see the words that are overused.
Since my wip revolves around dancing and a studio, I have to be creative in talking about the dance floor, dancing, and other similar words. I have a friend who also reads for me. She’s caught a few uncommon words that I’ve used too close together. I have a thesaurus on my computer, but I want get a good one. Any suggestions?
Thanks for your tips, Michelle! I plan to use them.
Jeanne T » I actually use my Flip Dictionary more than the thesaurus, though I, too, rely on the one in my Word program or online. Since I last wrote about the Flip Dictionary last month, however, I’ve learned it’s out of print. 🙁 Bummer, I love that tool.
Sigh. 🙁 I guess I’ll have to figure out how to find more online thesaurus resources. 🙂 My computer one isn’t very creative. 🙂
Fun, funny, and informative.
Ever since you alerted me to the overuse of “that,” it jumps off the page at me like a vicious monkey. I rewrote and deleted that nasty word into oblivion.
Thanks for being so attentive to things like that.
Hahaha. Well played, Bill.
Ha! “vicious monkey” I am so having flashbacks of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies! lol
Fantastic post, Michelle! Thank you for the information about Word Count and Gender Genie. The two main characters of my psychological mystery are male. Gender Genie is now on my list of tools to explore.
I will admit THAT I struggle with “that” as well. As an English teacher by profession, I am acutely aware of “was” and passive sentences. I grimace each time I write a “was” sentence, but I have learned to do it, then go back later and revise. In all honesty, as my hand writes the boring “was” sentence, I can’t think of any other way to say it. Later on, I will be able to restructure the sentence and come up with a more dynamic verb.
One of the things I do to discover if I am over-using a word is to read my writing out loud. I can read a page over several times without noticing that, in one paragraph, I’ve describe three different objects (the lamp, the carpet, his eyes) as green. Yet when I read out loud, the green will jump out at me. Reading aloud also helps me hear awkwardness and wordiness.
Again, thanks Michelle. Please tell Wendy I’m praying for her.
Blessings!
Christine Dorman / @looneyfilberts » Great idea to read aloud–it’s amazing how many “problems” turn up when you hear your manuscript as well as read it. I also send my to the Kindle and read it in book format beside the computer, making corrections as I see them.
I’ve tried having the Kindle read aloud so I can weed or do other mindless chores while listening to my manuscript. Unfortunately, it sounds like a GPS and it’s simply too painful!
LOL! It’s sounds like a great idea, though, listening to your writing. Still, SIRI definitely steps on my nerves, so I understand what you mean. Reading your writing on Kindle–that’s a wonderful idea. Thanks!
Christine Dorman / @looneyfilberts » It looks different in book typesetting and thus enables me, at least, to see errors a little easier.
I have to read sitting at the computer, however, or I spend most of my time getting up and down between chair and word processor. (That’s how I got all my exercise three weeks ago!)
I too tend to overuse certain words. In fact, I sent out query letters on a novel last spring.
Days later I was introduced to Christopher Park’s Manulyzer.
Imagine my horror at my list of over used words, phrases, adverbs, and adjectives.
I don’t have the web page handy. I downloaded it directly onto my laptop, and use it frequently while editing!
Another program I think it’s “Smart Edit” works okay, and is adjustable – you can add your own trouble words. I haven’t used it as much.
Good Luck!
April Brown » Here’s the link to Smart Edit: http://www.smart-edit.com/
It looks like a good solution. Manalyzer is here: http://www.christophermpark.com/manalyzer.php
I haven’t used either one, but they’re worth investigating.
Thanks!
Try a program called SmartEdit (http://www.smart-edit.com/)
I was blown away by the data. Definitely using when this next ms is done.
I overuse a lot of words, so my pal is find and replace!
I use Scrivener to write, and Scrivener has something like this. It shows you the most frequently used words. I’ve only done it within a scene or chapter, not sure if it will do your whole book at once (it probably does, I just haven’t figured that out, yet.)
After I read your other post about the flip dictionary, I saw it was out of print. Too bad, because I really want that book!
Laurie Evans » Here is information about Scrivener: http://www.literatureandlatte.com/scrivener.php
I have not used it, but I’m in the middle of an enormous book writing project and this might help me–I’m planning to spend the afternoon with paper and ink to figure out all the details of my current novel. Can anyone add to Laurie’s comments?
My bug-a-boo is the word “it.” I come from a short story writing background and, like I tell writers, the word is a nothing word. No images are conjured up, the word is just the writer being lazy.
I actually count the number of times the word “it” is used in the first three pages of a manuscript when I do acquisitions. I can’t help but notice the word when I read. Yes, I’m that OCD about “it.”
Terrific post, Michelle. I’m putting the link at my website under Posse Posts.
http://www.sunnyfrazier.com
Great post! I have a love/hate relationship with ‘just.’ I just do. It just loves me, too.
My method? I bribe my super-supportive, biggest-fan husband to read my stories back to me out loud. He’s my Word Counter and Gender Genie all rolled up in one! He says one of the perks for him is that he gets to know who I’m hanging out with 24/7.
Can he read mine? Does he like Canadian chocolate? I still have to get Mr Major to read my MS.
Wanna hear my bird impression?
Buck buck buck.
Becky Doughty » Love it! Even better than a Kindle reader!
Before reading your blog post today, I didn’t realize that I use the word “that” so much. Now that I realize that, I can see that my overuse of that is a problem that I need to resolve. *wink*
Thanks for the entertaining and informative post, Michelle.
susan furlong-bolliger » Ya know, you get used to hearing something and it becomes . . . meaningless.
That has its place, just be careful with it. 🙂
Ha’ii.
I do the ‘ly’ search too! It’s the best thing. And so revealing.
Love this post, Michelle. The one word I know I overuse often is “just.” When I review a manuscript, I begin taking words out. I also use Word’s find and replace functionality.
The programs you cited look neat. I’m definitely going to try some of them. Thanks for sharing.
I entered a blog post into The Gender Genie and it thinks I’m a man. I don’t know whether to be thrilled or insulted. LOL!
Cheryl Malandrinos » So it’s not an exact science . . . I’m going to try it with my male hero and see how he fares! 🙂
Great post, Michelle. I have a lot of smiling in my manuscripts that I have to go back and eliminate.
I have a hard time eliminating “was.” Not in passive voice, which should almost always be avoided. (Note the passive voice.) But in past progressive (some call it past continuous). Because frankly, there’s a big difference between, “I was getting dressed when a handsome man burst into the room,” and “I dressed. A handsome man burst into the room.” In one of those, I was caught with my pants down–literally. Some crit partners will change it to the second to avoid the use of “was.” Personally, I think “was” is an invisible word that readers don’t see. Sure, if you use it 5 or 10 times in a paragraph… OK, I’ve done that. I have a crit partner who’ll highlight them for me. Annoyingly effective. Maybe it’s only invisible to me… 🙂
Robin Patchen » That’s a good point, Robin. “Was” may be invisible to some, but again, it’s not a strong verb. I almost hate it when I wrestle with a sentence, trying desperately to get rid of the was, only to conclude–as you did in the fine example above–“I guess ‘was’ is the best choice.”
As long as you’re consciously choosing to use “was” I don’t see a problem at all.
I tend to insert “that” when it’s not needed. So when I edit, I do a search and destroy for “that.”
Now, overreacting I cut “that” to often.
Hopefully I will soon achieve a happy balance.
Peter DeHaan » I do the same thing, Peter, or I use “which” in place of that, pretending I’m getting around it.
Maybe it’s better to say I challenge each that–so if I’ve got one, you know it belongs there! 🙂
Great post Michelle. Lots of informative comments and suggested websites too. Thanks everyone.
I keep a running list of words that start to sound repetitive as I write the draft. Then I search through Word to see how many times I used it and decide what gets to stay. I also have a list of words I keep updating ….words I overuse, the word “was” and other worn-out words.
This is a fantastic post, Michelle. I know I use “sometimes” too often. Like you, I’ve come to very much dislike “that,” which I still have to work hard editing out. I think I use “have” too often, too. Hah.
I notice I overuse certain words much more in conversational writing (like leaving blog comments and in emails/texts) than I do in formal writings.
I think I’ll have to start keeping a list of my most used words and use “Find and Replace” like you have! Thank you for mentioning that strategy! I mainly just self-edit, but “Find and Replace” will have a more accurate eye than I will.
When I self-edit, if I see the same verb used two sentences in a row, I try to change it. Or, if I see the same word in a sentence, I definitely want to change one of them.
I’m sharing this post with my critique group! Thanks, Michelle!
Michelle, thanks. I cannot wait to try these. What will people come up with next?