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The Imposter Syndrome

March 1, 2020 //  by Wendy Lawton//  19 Comments

“I can’t really call myself a writer, I haven’t yet been published.”

“I know I’ve written seventeen books, I just hope nobody ever finds out I never finished college.”

“My book has been on the bestseller list for three months running but I have no idea what I did to get there or how to replicate it. I’m such a fraud.”

“Sure I’ve been studying the writing craft for years and working on this manuscript for almost as long but what in the world makes me think I can submit a proposal. That’s for real writers.”

Do any of those sound familiar to you? I’m always surprised at the self doubt excellent writers suffer. I recently stumbled over the term Imposter Syndrome. There are a number of interesting articles about it, like this one from TheMuse.com or Ted Talks, like this one.  But here’s the simple definition:

“Almost Home” Lawton Dolls, Mary Chilton of the Mayflower
im·pos·tor syn·drome
noun: imposter syndrome
the persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own efforts or skills.

Back in the days of my first career as a dollmaker, I employed the same two sister seamstresses for all my pattern drafting and sewing. For more than thirty years they created tens of thousands of complicated historical costumes in miniature using the finest materials— swiss batiste, woolens, homespun, silk, leathers— using intricate techniques. Betty and Mary never took a sewing class. They were self-taught and often invented new techniques that were far better than the standard techniques. I could do nothing but laugh every time one of them said, “I hope nobody ever finds out we don’t know how to sew.”

Do you think someone like author Harper Lee could have suffered from imposter syndrome? She wrote her beloved novel, To Kill a Mockingbird, and never penned another book. (Ignoring the posthumous debacle of a found manuscript.) What about those recording artists known as one-hit wonders?

How about you? Do you ever suffer from imposter syndrome? I certainly have over the years, as an artist, then as a writer and yes, even as an agent. But I thought it would be interesting to hear from you. Have you ever said to yourself, “I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m just faking it until I make it?”

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Category: Authors, Blog, Writing LifeTag: Almost Home, Harper Lee, imposter syndrome, Mary Chilton, Mayflower, self-doubt

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  1. Ane Mulligan

    March 2, 2020 at 5:36 am

    I absolutely do, Wendy. Every book, I think I don’t know what I’m doing. How do others manage to do it? Character arc? Theme? It’s crazy!

    Reply
  2. Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    March 2, 2020 at 6:34 am

    I don’t know what I’m doing,
    and it makes me feel quite sick;
    sheep are bleating, cows are mooing,
    and I can’t write worth a lick.
    I don’t know what I’m working towards,
    just thought I’d write this down;
    do the folk who read my words
    know I’m just a voiceless clown
    who makes light of a coming end,
    who laughs at every fatal turn,
    who signs that Barb (his best friend!)
    sings like Ozzy Osbourne?
    Or do these sad and troubled times
    need a silent jester, smiling mime?

    Reply
    • Elissa

      March 2, 2020 at 12:08 pm

      Andrew,
      The world always needs humor, in good times and bad. You’re not “just a voiceless clown”, you’re an inspiration. Never think otherwise.

      Reply
      • Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

        March 2, 2020 at 12:23 pm

        Elissa, thank you so much…the voiceless bit is actually now literal, and I’m having fun, as mentioned above, giving Barb a hard time through ASL.

        Funny thing…I used to find mimes extremely annoying. Now, not so much; the ASL learning process is part mime, and part a permanent game of charades.

  3. Rebecca

    March 2, 2020 at 7:56 am

    Wendy,
    The TedX was brilliant. I certainly can relate to that and love the concept of Miss Vader and Betty Lou. Time for Betty Lou to get out of the rocking chair and go to work.
    Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
  4. Jeanne Takenaka

    March 2, 2020 at 9:22 am

    This was so good, Wendy. And that TedTalk? Wow, I loved the idea of having a Betty Lou share a different perspective with me when I need it.

    I’ve definitely dealt with the Imposter Syndrome. And when progress on this road takes a LOOOONNNGGG time and my steps feel painfully slow, that’s when I really need to tune into my own inner Betty Lou.

    Reply
  5. Morgan Tarpley Smith

    March 2, 2020 at 9:30 am

    Yep, totally. But I tell myself God defines who I am, not my insecurities and fears. I cling to that. He will guide my writing however he would like and I have to trust in His plan. It’s comforting to know I’m not trying to operate on my own strength. Because when I start to forget this I do feel like an imposter.

    Reply
    • Kimberly D.

      April 16, 2020 at 6:51 pm

      I like that, Morgan. It helps.

      Reply
      • Morgan Tarpley Smith

        April 16, 2020 at 7:20 pm

        I’m so glad, Kimberly! We’re all in this together.

  6. Wendy L Macdonald

    March 2, 2020 at 9:36 am

    Thank you, dear Wendy, for letting us know you’ve also experienced imposter syndrome. I needed this.
    Blessings ~ Wendy Mac

    Reply
  7. Marie Wells Coutu

    March 2, 2020 at 10:06 am

    All. The. Time. As a former newspaper reporter, I’ve always been confident of my ability to write nonfiction–to lay out the facts and describe what happened in a succinct, coherent way. But when it comes to writing fiction or even “advice” for other writers, I question myself constantly. Thank goodness for friends, critique partners, and contest judges who provide encouragement. Without that encouragement, I’d never submit anything for publication.

    Reply
  8. Ann H. Gabhart

    March 2, 2020 at 11:03 am

    I wrote for years, even had some books published, before I was comfortable telling people I was a writer. I was fine with claiming the title in the privacy of my mind and heart, but it was almost as if I worried somebody would look at me and say I had to be kidding. A country girl without any college credits to her name couldn’t possibly be a writer. But you know what? I am a writer and now I can write that down on those information sheets you sometimes have to fill out. At the same time, I’m still a little shy about mentioning it in a group that doesn’t already know I’m a writer. Aren’t we funny people?

    Reply
  9. Edie ostiglione

    March 2, 2020 at 1:51 pm

    I suffered from Impostor Syndrome for 30 years–first as a software developer for 23 yrs at WE/Bell Labs/AT&T/Lucent with only a 2-year certificate from the local junior college, then a piano teacher because a neighbor heard me play, and now a writer because I wrote a memoir as a cathartic exercise to understand why I landed in a mental hospital. Heaven help us all with our insecurities.

    Reply
  10. Joseph

    March 3, 2020 at 4:26 am

    Nice Article. I always fall to the trap of fake it till you make it

    Reply
  11. Kristen Joy Wilks

    March 3, 2020 at 6:32 am

    Yes, this is a real struggle. I hesitate to invest $ in this writing thing because I don’t necessarily feel like a businesswoman. I feel like a dreamer. But once in a while, someone will share that my words touched them or lifted their spirit in a hard time and suddenly there is a moment of peace knowing that I have used a God-given and self-honed talent for His kingdom. That is real and no one can take it away.

    Reply
    • Wendy L Macdonald

      March 3, 2020 at 7:49 am

      Yes to this, dear Kristen. Yes. Your comment blessed me big time.
      Thank you. 🙂
      Blessings ~ Wendy Mac

      Reply
      • Kristen Joy Wilks

        March 4, 2020 at 12:00 pm

        Oh, wow! Yeah, the creative road is a tough one. Best to travel it with friends!

  12. Karen Schubert

    March 5, 2020 at 2:51 pm

    I can relate to this syndrome. I attended a writers conference last week. It was small. I ended up sitting one seat away from an agent at dinner. But could I bring myself to say anything? Absolutely not. I’ve written six books and study the craft constantly. But I freeze up with the thought that as soon as this agent reads my stuff, they’ll know I’m a fake. The question is, how to get over that?

    Reply
  13. Kathy Sheldon Davis

    March 5, 2020 at 3:04 pm

    Both the article and the TED talk addressed elements in my current wip which I’m about to enter in a contest. This fact alone made me perk up and listen hard. And Wendy, your remarks spoke directly to my story as well. I’ll have to tell you about it after the finalists are announced. I love it when encouragement like this happens. Thank you!

    Reply

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