Blogger: Michelle Ule
Location: Santa Rosa, Calif.
We didn’t raise our children to believe in Santa Claus. It wasn’t that we told them there wasn’t a Santa Claus; we just didn’t discuss him as a present-provider. We sort of punted on the subject, especially when we hung Christmas stockings.
My mother was shocked. “I can’t believe they won’t have Santa. Who will they think brings the presents?”
Me: “The people they can honestly thank.”
We attended Bishop Seabury Episcopal Church when my first children were toddlers, and I thought the church handled the Santa Claus issue beautifully. They celebrated
the feast of St. Nicholas on the Sunday closest to December 6. Along with the pastor, one of the elders, clad in the traditional red and carrying a staff, walked down the aisle to start the service. He sat in one of the pulpit seats, and the pastor always preached a sermon about the historic man. That’s what the kids knew–St. Nicholas was a real man who brought gifts to poor children long ago.
We had many friends at the time who also didn’t bring their children up to believe in Santa Claus, and that resulted in one sweet Christmas story. As the days drew closer to December 25, a friend visited the commissary with her two little boys. The well-meaning clerk leaned over the counter to hand out candy canes and asked, “Who’s coming to your house soon?”
Josh grinned from ear to ear. “Daddy!”
The boys’ father came home the day before Christmas that year.
Santa used to ride on submarines as they came into port at Christmas time. Shouting, “ho, ho, ho,” he would hand out candy canes.
We explained to our children that some people believe Santa is real, therefore the kids needed to “play along” with the story-line and not dash anyone’s hopes. “It’s a pretend game.”
My children took the candy canes and politely thanked “Santa.”
Some of the best Christmases of their youth, however, were spent with my aforementioned mother, who struggled to honor our wishes but wanted to introduce her grandchildren to the “fun” of Santa Claus.
An old family friend, practically an aunt, made the rounds every year dressed in a Santa suit and toting an enormous bagful of treasures. During one of our visits, when the jingle of bells sounded outside my mom’s Southern California screen door, the boys ran to see what was up.
My mom got her wish: Her grandchildren had gifts to open from Santa. The boys pretended they didn’t recognize Santa. We all played with the toys and scarfed down the candy canes.
The boys hugged Santa and said, “thank you.” I did, too.
Some times you have to punt. Sort of.
Happy new year.
Michelle, I suppose this post should make me feel good about a family that ignores the Santa Claus myth and emphasizes family values and–presumably–the real reason for our celebration: Jesus. But it also leaves me a little sad. Nevertheless, thank you for sharing.
Best wishes to you and all the staff for a great new year.
One of my books, Secret Service Saint, tells the story of Saint Nicholas and how he became known as Santa Claus. The book encourages kids to give secretly, as Jesus taught, and I think telling children gifts are from Santa Claus is a way of doing that.
Michelle,
Thank you for sharing your family’s approach to the “Santa” issue.
Growing up we never encountered Santa in our home. We only saw him at stores or parades. Most of the presents under our tree were from my parents, with one or two from “Santa.” When we asked mother directly if there was a “real Santa” she told us the truth, and explained it was a fun game of pretend. Like when she and I would “play” tea, and I was always Lady Kathryn from the Castle up on the hill in some faraway land.
However, just as you cautioned your children to not spoil it for others, my mother requested we keep our secret to ourselves. I’ve always thought my mother’s attitude showed great kindness and respect for other people’s views.
We were taught and never doubted the REAL reason for Christmas was to celebrate the birth of our savior Jesus.
And we raised our children in the same manner.
Blessings to you in this wondrous New Year!
Disorganized people like would probably do better with the honest approach of talking about St. Nicholas. I botched the Santa thing more than once not being able to find the right gift one year for my daughter and totally blowing it for my son when I saw a commercial for Penn Cycle and started talking about the unicycle “Santa” brought. I had forgotten that was the Santa present, so I think I ruined it for two out of my three kids. It was a relief when I didn’t have to play Santa anymore. I think I’ll be ok either way when my kids have their own children. The tooth fairy might be a different story. Ha
My wife and I didn’t want to teach our kids about Santa, because I reasoned that once they discovered that Santa wasn’t real, they would then wonder what else Mom and Dad had lied about to them.
Apparently we this scarred them, because they both are adamant that they will not deprive their children from the joy of believing in Santa Claus.
Good for you, Michelle!! My husband and I decided-before we had kids-that we would not involve Santa in our Christmas celebration! We felt, and still do, that it is a distraction and has nothing to do with the birth of Christ. Now, I’ll probably shock people as well when I say that we have never involved the “Easter Bunny” in our celebration of Easter! We feel it is another worldly distraction. Should Christ’s resurrection compete with a pointless, nonsensical story. Our kids have thanked us for keeping holy days holy. We have well-adjusted, bright, fun-loving teenagers now. And-gasp!-we’ve never done Halloween either! Of course, we are far from being perfect parents-we’ve just tried to emphasize the more important things in life.