Blogger: Mary Keeley (Repeat of popular post. I’m out on vacation.)
The thought of talking to an agent or editor causes a fair amount of anxiety in many writers. Are you one of them? It’s important to represent yourself well with just the right proportions of professionalism and warmth, assertiveness and willingness to submit to advice, confidence and humility, collaborative spirit and individuality. When you have those measured out, blend in your pleasant personality, your passion for writing, and your unique book ideas and you have the perfect recipe for successful interaction. Oh, and don’t forget to add that special ingredient, a positive attitude. Simple…right?
On paper maybe. It’s in the practical application of the total blend that your hands sweat and your mind goes fuzzy. But there is a way you can feel assured that, in the moment, you are representing yourself well. Using the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5: 22-23) as the framework, below is a list of definitions specific to writers that I’ll call the “fruit of the Spirit for writers.”
Each of these is necessary in working with other professionals in our industry. Put these words on a Post-It note or index card as handy reminders during your phone conversations and email exchanges. The intent of this little exercise is that, while you have those cues in front of you as a self-check, your mind will be freer to concentrate on what’s being said and what you want to say.
- Love, Joy – in all interactions, even those that are tense. Nuf said.
- Faithfulness, Goodness – Agents and publishers want your book to succeed as much as you do. Approach your interactions willing to compromise wherever possible for the greater good of the book and working relationships. Trust they are doing the same. Don’t speak ill of your agent or editor simply because you disagree about something and they won.
- Peace – When anxious or agitated, your voice can rise to a higher pitch. You might not be aware of it, but the person on the other end of the phone surely will, and this can cause some concern, even angst on their part. He or may even dig in his heels, and the end result will be unnecessary discord. Spend a few minutes before a phone call or writing an email to meditate on the fact that God is present with you, he is for you, and he knows what is best. This will help muster a quiet confidence that will calm your voice and your mind.
- Patience, Kindness – Agents and editors are unbelievably busy. I know, you’ve heard that said many times before. Blah, blah, blah. Unfortunately, it never seems to change. We function in varied degrees of being behind. We’ll never catch up, so be patient as you wait for a response. If it’s been four or five days without a reply from your agent or editor, send a kind reminder. She might have had computer problems or was involved in an emergency. Patience and kindness are equivalent to a spoonful of sugar in the medicine.
- Long-Suffering – It isn’t fun receiving rejections. But hopefully you received constructive feedback as well. If not, request it. Some agents and editors don’t initially offer their reactions because they recognize there’s a certain amount of subjectivity. But if they still don’t respond, it usually means there is something wrong with your manuscript, so start there. Work to improve your craft and revise your work. Recognize that in this process you still are in forward momentum toward your goal of publication. And keep your spirit in check by recognizing God is at work.
- Gentleness, Self-Control – Don’t nag your agent or demand your way with your editor. In a particular situation you might think it’s in your best interest to force your will. However, it is counter-productive and never reaps positive results in your relationships.
In all your dealings with your agent, editor, marketing person, and your readers, exercise the fruit of the Spirit for writers and you will acquire a reputation as a wonderful writer to work with. It could tip the scale in your favor, not to mention reflect Christ-like character.
Which of these qualities do you struggle with most? Share an experience in which you exercised a certain quality, and you benefited greatly. Or share an experience that will help other writers to learn from your mistake.
Rich Gerberding
So thankful that so far my experiences (2 writers conferences in 2011) have been incredible, with minimal nervousness when speaking with either editors or agents. The one caution/warning I would add is not to let the fruit of the Spirit warnings drift to non-Spirit led actions.
To reference friend & Books & Such author Paul Coughlin, it is possible to exhibit cowardice in the more Spiritual sounding ‘gentleness,’ – in this case when motives are less about a gentle spirit and more about avoiding conflict and risk of rejection by always having a “work in progress” but never one ready to let go of and see what God can do.
Thanks for the timely message that due to my subject matter has added more fuel to my fire – this blog post will likely be referenced (with attribution of course) in my first two weekend retreat speaking engagements coming up in the next 8 weeks.
Mary Keeley
Good point, Rich. A gentle approach with an agent or editor may involve a measure of courage and risk-taking. Gentleness and avoidance do not equate. It’s good to know this post is helpful and hope your speaking engagements go well.
Jeanne T
My hope is that the words that come from my mouth will always be filled with love and grace. I’m learning how to keep quiet when the words that want to comed out of mouth are negative.
For me, I find that rejection is the toughest to deal with. My responses are usually internal. In the writing realm, I’m learning to accept that a rejection is not of me, but more likely of the quality of my work. And as you pointed out, there’s always room to improve. So, if I can look beyond the disappointment, not internalize it, I can move forward and improve my writing to hopefully gain an acceptance instead.
I’ll keep thinking on the positive experience. I know there are some, they’re just not at the front of my mind at the moment.
Thanks for a great post, Mary! You’ve definitely given me some great food for thought and help with maintaining a good perspective.
Mary Keeley
Jeanne. rejections definitely are disappointing, especially if they occur multiple times. BUT if the editor or agent offers you constructive feedback, consider this forward movement toward improving your craft. If no feedback is offered, it is reasonable to reply and ask for it. Many will provide comments when requested. Many published authors spent years in this mode before finally getting a contract. You are in good company.
Cynthia Herron
Mary, I love these tips–especially “And keep your spirit in check recognizing that God is at work.”
Thanks for being such a bright light of encouragement.
Happy vacationing!! (Are you near a Starbucks? ;))
Mary Keeley
Thanks, Cynthia. I’m glad it sparked well-deserved encouragement. Ha, ha, yes, coffee shops are always on my radar.
Lindsay Harrel
Wonderful post, Mary. It really shows your heart for God and how you truly want to help writers. Love it!
I think patience is the hardest for me. I’m so tempted to write and ask where something is at, why I haven’t heard back, etc. Thankfully, I usually keep all of that close to the vest, but it is still a struggle.
One positive experience I had was when an editor rejected my manuscript, but did so in such a way that she provided a ton of feedback. She apologized if she offended me with her feedback, and was just so sweet. I wrote her back and let her know I appreciated it so much and valued her feedback. She wrote back and said thank you for being so open, etc. I truly was grateful she took the time to give such extensive feedback, but even if I hadn’t been, it’s best to thank someone and be kind.
Mary Keeley
Lindsay, what a blessing you received from that editor. Her extensive feedback provides a jump start on areas to improve your manuscript. And she will remember you for your kind response and openness to receive her constructive comments.
Michelle Lim
Fantastic post, Mary! For me, patience is probably the toughest because I’m a real go-getter type of person. But God is giving me plenty of practice in the writing profession because waiting is built into the process in triple fold. LOL!
Have a wonderful vacation!
Mary Keeley
I admit to struggling with patience too, Michelle. Writers anxiously await responses from agents and editors. Most agents and editors are aware of this and truly care; we would love to be able to respond quickly. But we are in a continual state of being behind. As you said, “…waiting is built into the process in triple fold.”
Beth MacKinney
I once squirted an editor with ketchup at the break table. (It was an accident, of course.) They have never seemed intimidating since then.
Mary Keeley
Funny, Beth. A unique ice-breaker.
Martha Ramirez
Great advice, Mary!
Mary Keeley
Thanks, Martha.
Caroline @ UnderGod'sMightyHand
When you said, “It isn’t fun receiving rejections. But hopefully you received constructive feedback as well. If not, request it,” are you referring to when the agent already represents an author? I’ve read that it’s not appropriate to ask an agent you’ve only queried for specific feedback. Is that correct for most agents?
Like others commented here, patience poses a struggle. But when it’s combined with long-suffering, the results and growth are pretty amazing!
Mary Keeley
Personally, I don’t find it inappropriate for a writer to request feedback on an initial query. I actually try to provide it upfront. We Books & Such agents aim to be supportive and encouraging for writers while also addressing the business realities.
Kate
Great reminder Mary…timeless piece…and hope you’re enjoying your vacation!
Mary Keeley
Thanks, Kate.
Becky Doughty
Mary – lovely. Oh, that we would apply these standards to everything we do in life!
Thank you for encouraging us in our walk and in our calling as writers.
Have a blessed weekend,
Becky
Mary Keeley
Indeed, Becky. The Fruits of the Spirit are always appropriate.
Julie Surface Johnson
Mary, thank you for reminding us to seek our center in God’s truth. I’m currently re-reading Brother Lawrence’s Practicing the Presence of God and am reminded that keeping Him foremost in our minds will help us no matter what we are doing!
Mary Keeley
Amen, Julie.
Donnie
God Bless you for posting these words of wisdom.
Lenore Buth
I love this, Mary. It’s wise counsel for all of life and adaptable to almost any situation.
Thanks for letting your faith shine through.