blogger: Cynthia Ruchti
Memoir: Mem-oir, or ME-moir?
How do you pronounce memoir, anyway?
It’s not a question of how to pronounce the word, although many of us do wonder. Is it MEHM-wah or mehm-WAH or MEHM-wahr?
None of the above, technically. The European pronunciation is much more charming (go figure) than the English (well, American) pronunciation. Both syllables are apparently given equal weight: Mem-wah (EU) or the coarser mem-war (US), according to the Cambridge Dictionary. But if you hail from Illinois or Wyoming but are holding a croissant while saying it, you can probably get away with the softer and more sophisticated mem-wah.
Is my book a memoir?
Many writers submit their work still unsure if their book is a memoir or not. Is it narrative nonfiction? An autobiography?
Brian A. Klems (Writers Digest) and others make the distinction that a memoir is typically centered around either a season, event, aspect, or theme of a person’s life. An autobiography, in contrast, may encompass the person’s life story chronologically. “In some general contexts,” Klems says, “memoir and autobiography can be used interchangeably…But there’s a key difference that publishers use to define each—the timeline covered in the writing.”
A firefighter may write his memoir focused on his years in that noble but high-risk profession. Or his story might be his experiences fighting a specific fire. A lawyer may write a memoir about her most chilling case. Or she could create a memoir about her years as a public defender. A foster parenting couple may write a memoir about their overfull-house and the changes they were able to bring to the foster parent conversation.
What do I include?
Once the question is answered–“Is it a memoir or an autobiography?”–the next question is typically, “What stories do I include in my memoir?” If it isn’t asked, it should be. One of the most concerning traps for a memoirist is the idea that it all has to be told. “I need ever detail so it will be an accurate reflection of what really happened. And that begs a new question. Are you writing a mem-oir or a ME-moir?
If you’re writing for publication, a memoir is about you but for the reader.
That distinction will guide many decisions during the writing process.
- Where do I start my memoir? With a story that matters to the reader.
- Which details do I include? Think of the memoir as a collection of integrated, related scenes. Think about incorporating elements that form gripping scenes. The trip to the lake that one summer when you caught a trout? Might not be necessary. The trip to the lake another summer when you caught a spy hiding in the boathouse? That’s necessary. Unless it’s completely unrelated to the rest of the memoir about your life as a missionary dentist.
- How do I decide what to leave out? It’s simple, really. Leave out anything of no interest to the reader. You’re welcome to write down every minute detail, rambling and disjointed thoughts…if you simply want to capture it in writing for yourself and a few family members. But if you’re writing for publication, carefully scrutinize the story from the reader’s point of view. Every chapter, scene, paragraph, sentence, word.
Will it add to the reader’s enjoyment, understanding, education, experience, enrichment?
Why does it matter?
The skilled memoirist continually asks, “Is this a ME-moir? A story both about and for me? Or is it a true mem-oir, a story of memories that woven together form an important work of literature, an informative read, or inspiration for others?”
You shall not see my memoir,
and the secrets I won’t tell.
It would thereby lead you to a war
that was a slice of Hell.
The things we had to tolerate,
the things that, yes, we did,
and how then do you illustrate,
“It was only just a kid.”
And I can’t stand the safety,
and the car trips to the mall.
in a place where all is matey,
my home is at The Wall.
Enjoy the peace my brothers left
for they gave their very best.
For younger readers, The Wall is the Viet Nam memorial.
Cynthia, I’ve never really considered the difference between an autobiography and a memoir before (obviously, I’m not writing one!). I so appreciate your insights on this. I especially didn’t realize a memoir encompasses a specific timeline or event or season. Thanks so much for increasing my understanding!
Thanks for “tuning in,” Jeanne! Always appreciate your comments.
Cynthia, this is a great post. While I don’t intend to write a memoir (or a ME-moir), when people find out I’m an author, some want to talk to me about writing their autobiography. Frequently what they really want to do is share their experiences and lessons learned, how God has worked in their lives, as an inspiration to others; i.e., more of a memoir than an autobiography. (I think unless you’re uber famous, no one but perhaps your family wants to read your autobiography.) I’ll be able to share your post with them and help consider their purpose in telling their story.
Great idea, Marie!
Cynthia, I love this! It is so easy to grasp and practical. I like that you don’t have to tell everything, because seriously, some events were so traumatic I don’t remember portions.
I also like what you placed in the text box,
“If you’re writing for publication, a memoir is about you but for the reader.”
I am planning on sharing portions of my story on my videos, connected to my website. BUT FIRST, I am finishing working on setting up a business to operate within, not a building, but the paperwork and all.
Thanks again!
Glad this helped, Betsy!
Very helpful Cynthia! Thanks for the clarity.
This isn’t a comprehensive study on the topic, obviously, but I hope it was insightful.
I love to read your posts! They are informative and helpful.
Thanks, Clifford!
I paused at the impact of your words “woven together”: Or is it a true mem-oir, a story of memories that woven together form an important work of literature, an informative read, or inspiration for others?”
“Leave out anything of no interest to the reader.” Wow, bull’s eye! I needed this right now as I agonize over one particular chapter in my draft. Thank you, Cynthia, for being gracefully ruthless 🙂 It leads me to wonder if a helpful memoir maxim might be “when in doubt, leave it out” – or at least be prepared to be ruthless about what to jettison.
Thanks again!
Lisa, for what it’s worth (and I am no expert), if you don’t write it, you won’t know whether it’s vital to the story, or not.
Though it’s a novel, and not a memoir, Wouk’s “The Caine Mutiny” is a massive door that turns upon the jeweled bearing of the character of its protagonist, Willie Keith.
In the opening chapters we learn a LOT about Wille, perhaps (one may think, initially), too much!
But as the story unfolds the fictional man becomes something more, a trope of the college boys who were turned into naval officers in three months (‘ninety-day wonders’), and the transition from callow to a certain cautious courage is the vital background to the story, and to the winning of the Pacific War.
Every memoir is at its heart a novel, with characters and story arc. Hewing to the true details may be important, but it pales in comparison to the truth of trajectory.
I’m so glad it was helpful, Lisa.
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