Blogger: Janet Kobobel Grant
Location: Books & Such Main Office, Santa Rosa, Calif.
Last month I wrote about how publishing is ranked high among the most stress-filled occupations one could be involved in. I believe that’s not just true for those who work at a publishing house but also for authors, agents, and free-lancers of all stripes–publicists and editors, etc.
A reader of our blog suggested I devote a series of posts to how to handle stress and avoid burnout. When I recounted that suggestion to our office staff, they burst out laughing since, yes, I have survived decades of being connected to publishing, but I’m livin’ a high octane life, with stress levels rising daily. But, as I pondered the idea, I thought, Who better to write about stress than someone who is in the thick of it? So I’m raising my hand and volunteering, as a sufferer along with the rest in publishing, to write about what relieves stress for me and helps me to stay in this game long-term.
One concept that has stood me in good stead is recognizing that humans are amazingly resilient. We find ways to bend or stretch, to reconfigure our lives to fit “new normals” all the time. If you develop tendonitis, you wear a brace, learn to baby your hands, and to avoid heavy lifting. Once the adjustment is made, life goes on. If you hurt your back, you move carefully, take pain-relieving meds, and adjust.
So, too, when you’re walloped with an unexpected deadline or a rejected but contracted manuscript, you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and make a plan. I’ve learned that, when the surprise-but-not-welcomed emergency comes into my work life, I concentrate on how to get the situation back under control, recognize my nicely laid out to-do list should be tossed, and jump in with vigor. Working through the pain of an injury or a work emergency rather than hoping it will go away is a positive step to take. And it helps us to regain control.
Much of the stress we feel is that lack of control. So, for me, figuring out how to get on top of the situation is a key reducer of stress. Avoidance seldom works. And let me add, when I say “get on top of the situation,” I’m not suggesting finding a solution–that’s usually discovered as a process rather than as an a-ha moment. I’m talking about figuring out what your next move will be, how you’ll adjust to the wallop you just received.
Sometimes, to the observer, it might look as though I’m not dealing with the situation immediately. But what I’m doing is plotting a strategy, giving myself enough time to decide the best next move rather than responding with a gut reaction. Gut reactions often cause us to retrace steps to: offer apologies, try to clean up a mess we made when we trounced in too soon, repair damaged relationships with colleagues.
What’s the first step you take when life punches you in the gut?
Gerat post.
Gosh, what’s the first step when life punches me in the gut? . . . I stop and reach out to two people. My hubby and God.
For example. I got punched in the gut August 2009 when I got a call informing me I was laid off my job.
Totally unexpected.
Yikes.
I stopped, held my tongue, and kindly hung up the phone, then I fell into my hubby’s arms then onto my knees seeking God’s counsel.
Janet, you’re right on when you say, “Much of the stress we feel is that lack of control.” If we can stop and refocus, it’s much more manageable.
“Do the next right thing.”
That was the counsel of a speaker I heard years ago who had been through a time of intense stress. Her point was much like yours. We may not have it all figured out yet, but we will attain a degree of relief by taking even small steps in a positive direction. So even before the ultimate route is clear, we can usually see far enough to decide what to do with the next minute, the next hour, the next day. And eventually, all those small positive steps add up.
Janet,
What a great post! I agree with Lynn about reaching out to people.
We were not meant to be islands, and despite the protestations of my Scotch/Irish nature, I’ve realized that I wasn’t meant to go through crisis alone.
I also believe in the power of doing the “next thing”. Sometimes life’s cudgels can be overwhelming. If we look at the whole picture we may be tempted to despair.
But we can say, “today I will do the dishes, and then I will re-write one chapter”. Or if the cudgel is an illness, “Today my victory will be walking from one room to another.”
We only despise the day of small beginnings when we try to do too much.
Last, I remind myself that while the situation is utterly miserable, it is NOT a surprise to God. I wasn’t prepared for it, but He saw it coming, and He was.
Then my challenge is to lean close and hear His strategy.
I can’t wait for the rest of your posts in this series. I’ll be back every day this week!
Cheering you on,
Kelli
I try to strategize as well. Making a plan really helps. I really try to take each moment as it comes, step by step. Sometimes the big picture can be overwhelming!
Such good advice, from readers as well as Janet. Thank you to all.
For me, part of regaining control is actually releasing control of the situation into God’s hands. I vividly recall a day when it appeared that my husband would never come home to me from his 71-day stay in the hospital. While that was crushing (beyond stressful) to of, my immediate response was to place him, once again, in God’s hands. A gentle peace came over me. My husband did survive, but that moment of relinquishment has stayed with me as a sweet memory.
My first response to life’s gut-punch is chocolate.
After that it’s all about regrouping and figuring out what to do next.
Loved this post.
BJ, Mmmm, chocolate. I wish I would have thought of that! Perfect solution to stress! I’m off to munch some now…
Good post. Stress fuels me sometimes because I work well under pressure. But when life hits me with something completely unexpected? My first thought is to analyze just what I am dealing with, then talk it through. Talk it through with my husband or a friend, or even God.
You’ve said it well.
First reaction–take a knee.
Second reaction–remind myself that gut reactions are only for imminent, life-threatening emergencies. Every other situation requires a response. A well thought out response. A pro-active response.
Third step–consider my possible responses and choose one.
Fourth step–get up off my knees and get to work.
Jean