Blogger: Rachel Kent
I came across an article about a 2015 Harvard University study that showed that when a father reads to a child it leads to more advanced language development than when a mother reads to a child–especially for girls. I think this is fascinating and surprising! I, like the woman in this blog, take pride in my reading ability and I feel like I engage my children in the books by my reading style. I guess it is still better for my husband to do the bedtime reading? At least as far as encouraging language development goes, anyway. Maybe a mother’s reading leads to an advancement in something else?
The study found that men are more likely to engage children in abstract conversation while reading. Saying things like:
“‘Oh look, a ladder. Do you remember when I had that ladder in my truck?’ That is great for children’s language development because they have to use their brains more. It’s more cognitively challenging.”
I do a lot of reading with my children before bedtime and I wonder if this leads to less stimulating conversation because I am tired by the time we are settling in to read a book. Maybe a dad would read with the child at a different time of day? I can’t figure out why dad vs. mom would make a difference!
I am very glad that reading is a big part of the routine in our house and I love that my children enjoy books with mom or dad–and occasionally both of us at the same time! And I think they are on track with language development. My 9-month-old can say 2 distinct words: “hi” and “mama.” My 4 1/2 year old has a seemingly limitless vocabulary. She is constantly amazing us. 🙂
Do you have any thoughts on why it might be more beneficial for a dad to read to a child vs. a mom?
Did you grow up with a parent reading to you on a regular basis? Was it your dad or mom?
I searched around for a link to the actual study and I didn’t see it online. Sorry not to have that for you.
Shirlee Abbott
My father had pulmonary disease and was stuck at home, looking for low-intensity activities to fill his days. One such activity was reading books on tape for our toddler. We lived a thousand miles away, but a box of books and a cassette tape would come via mail. Grandpa would finish one book, say, “And next I’m going to read “Daddy Makes the Best Spaghetti.” There’d be a musical interlude to let my little one search his bookshelf for the spaghetti book, then my Father’s voice again.
* Once through each book with me first, and the child knew when to turn the pages. After that, it was just him, his child-proof tape player, and Grandpa.
* That toddler is now 30, finishing his masters degree and teaching special-ed biology in an inner-city high school. Next time we talk, I’ll ask what he remembers. To me, it was love on tape.
Andrew Budek-Schmeisser
Shirlee, I doubt there are many dry eyes among those reading the Books and Such blog this morning.
* I, of course, am fine, although something is wrong with my computer screen. It’s rather blurry.
Jeanne Takenaka
Shirlee, what an amazing gift your father gave you and your children! I love how he chose to engage with your family to bridge the physical distance.
Jennifer Zarifeh Major
THAT is awesome.
Have you put these in a digital format to keep forever?
Shirlee Abbott
I wish. The tape player was child proof. The tapes were not.
Damon J. Gray
OH! I was going to ask the same question. That is so sad. What a treasure – even the memories are a treasure.
Shelli Littleton
Beautiful.
Rachel Kent
This is the sweetest thing! What a wonderful gift he gave to your son!
Jeanne Takenaka
Rachel, what a fascinating study! I have no idea why it would be more impacting for a child to hear his/her father read to them.
*Relationally, I wonder if it’s because it would be one of the few times a day when Dad is still and sitting iwth the kids. And bringing a story to life with his words.
*My parents read to us. My sisters and I loved cuddling up close to whichever parent was reading and just listening to their voices. Whenever either of them read to us, they made up diffferent voices for the different characters. I remember my dad reading The Chronicles of Narnia to us. I wonder if that’s why I fell in love with that series?
Rachel Kent
Yes, I wonder if that is the case too. I have memories of my dad reading to me as a child, but I don’t have as many with my mom until I was in my teen years. We read a couple books together when I was older. I’m sure she read to us all the time as children. Strange that I don’t remember.
Andrew Budek-Schmeisser
We don’t have children, and memories of my own childhood are blurred, but I have noticed a dichotomy in the way the service dogs watch a DVD with me, and when Barb is around.
* When I am alone with them, watching a movie, Ladron and Syl will sit next to me (I sit on the floor, they on an ottoman against which I lean) and follow the action. They are understanding something, because seeing, say, “Saving Private Ryan” they growl at the Nazis, and cry when Tom Hanks’ character dies.
* When Barb is here, they revert to doogie behaviour, ladron playing with toys and Syl sleeping, snoopy-like, on the back of the sofa. It is perhaps that they go off duty, but I think there is more to it – Barbara brings with her a different level of energy, and a breath of experience of the Outside World which the dogs may find liberating.
* I do thank everyone for their prayers, and humbly request their continuance. Things are not going well, and barring drastic improvement I am not sure how long I will be able to keep this up.
Rachel Kent
Continuing to pray!
God, please bring drastic improvement to Andrew. Hold him close with tender care. Please boost his and Barbara’s spirits and give them strength. In Your Son’s Name, Amen
Carol Ashby
Amen!
Andrew Budek-Schmeisser
Thanks so much, Rachel and Carol.
Katie Powner
How interesting! Based on my personal experience with three kids, I think I know the answer. Daddy reading encourages greater language development because kids are adept at blocking out mom’s voice!
Jennifer Zarifeh Major
Uh, exactly.
Actually, my first thought upon reading this was “HA! You are so not kidding!!”
My kids thought it would be Party Week when I had my tonsils out, then they realized Mama has a death glare. Also, Mama could whisper in their ears. They spent the week behaving quite well.
Jennifer Deibel
Hahaha!! As we wrap up spring break in our household this week, I’m reminded just how true that it. LOL
Rachel Kent
🙂
Jennifer Deibel
My mom did the majority of reading aloud in our house. Dad was more apt to think up his own stories and regale me with them at bedtime.
As for my own kids, my husband read to our first daughter inutero. That child has always had a love of books. When she was just 9 months old, she’d still and pore through her stack of board books, examining every detail. Then hand them to me and we’d read them again and again. Then once they’d all been read, she took them back and liked through them again. Literally
Hours of our days were spent thus. When our second was born via emergency c-section and I was out of commission for a bit, my parents video taped themselves reading her favorite books so we could pop that in the VCR and she could read along with them as I cared for baby and my wounds. She was fully reading in her own by age 4.
My second child had no patience for books. It required she sit still too long. Lol But now, at age 9, she enjoys it and often reads for long stretches before bed.
Our son adores snuggling up with books and reading together for as long as time will allow.
Jennifer Zarifeh Major
John enjoyed reading to all the kids, but got his style sorted out on our first child, and only daughter. Poor thing.
She LOVED Big Joe’s Trailer Truck, by Joe Mathieu (Matt-you). Unfortunately, my poor husband was unprepared for how many times he’d have to read it. Toddlers have strong wills, even at bedtime. Soooo, he got creative.
Big Joe did drug runs to Mexico, hauled illegal weapons, transported criminals, got chased by police, busted through roadblocks, etc. It was so hilarious listening to Evil Big Joe’s nefarious activities, all told in a sweet, gentle, ‘Daddy is reading her to sleep’ voice, and try not to lose my ever loving mind from trying to contain my laughter in our one bedroom apartment.
I think I read The Party by Barbara Reid a thousand times, John, maybe 300. But #4 knew all the words of every book, so good luck trying to shorten anything, even if he looked asleep.
My kids ALL loved hearing my husband tell stories about Deaf Camp and all the adventures there that he had as a boy.
We loved hearing stories about my dad growing up in the Middle East and were CRUSHED to learn he’d never ridden a camel. Ever. But he did tell me they had their watermelons delivered “by the camel-load” and he and his siblings loved to wait for the watermelon merchant to come and unload the sacks of watermelons. Can you imagine??
My dad didn’t read to my kids, but he’d sing Arabic nursery rhymes to them. He made my BFF and I learn the words, and I could sing one now, but we learned a while ago that he had all the words wrong. My aunt heard him singing and outed his lack of talent. I shudder to think what I was singing.
Shelli Littleton
I didn’t grow up with a parent reading to me. That I recall. But I remember Little Golden Books in my bedroom. I remember looking at them. I do remember my dad reading a family devotion to us. I didn’t love reading until I got older. But we’ve always read to our girls. We had a book shelf lined with books right under the TV in the living room. My oldest would grab a book and just start backing up … my lap had better be there when she plopped down. But I have to admit … their dad brought out the life in a book. He made me think outside the box. You just never knew what he’d bring to the table. I loved You and Me, Little Bear … and on just about every page, there was a tiny worm. Well, I might comment … “aww, look at the worm.” But my husband would turn it into a game … “let’s find the worm” …. We had this one little book with sharks and fish … and an opening in the sharks mouth … where I might put my finger in the hole, like the fish is biting me, my husband waited till the girls placed their finger there and he stuck his through the other side … I can still see them shiver, quiver, and then laugh …. They were scared at first, but then they’d beg for the shark to get them. Let’s just say, my reading experience with them was sweet … his? Adventurous. 🙂
Carol Ashby
We have a son and a daughter, and my husband and I read to each of them in bed every night, always a Bible story and sometimes from a book afterwards. Great conversations sometimes followed the reading. We switched off each night for who read to whom. The kids wanted us to keep reading until they were in 6th grade, so it isn’t just littles that like this.
*I don’t know if Dad reading was more special, because they each got Dad 50% of the time. Neither ever indicated that they preferred one of us over the other.
*We also both read to them during the evening if they brought a book over, and I didn’t notice them coming to one more than the other. Often we each had one in our laps. (They are 19 months different in age.) I can’t recall anything different in how we interacted with them. They brought the books where you had to hunt something out in a picture to both of us, and we both played the “let’s find” games with them.
*Maybe the studies show that Dad reading has more impact because Dad is less likely to do the reading in many families, making it more impactful when he does.
Rachel Kent
This is a great way to do the reading because it gives them one-on-one time with both parents! Nice. 🙂
Davalynn Spencer
My dad read to me. Evidently, I requested The Cat in the Hat so many times, I had it memorized. He would try to make up things rather than reading the same ol’ same ol’, but he couldn’t get it past me. Or so my parents said. I wish I had that sharp of a memory today!
Andrew Budek-Schmeisser
Davalynn, that reminds me of a ‘Calvin and Hobbes’ comic in which Calvin insists that his father read “Hamster Huey And The Gooey Kablooie” for the umpteenth time.
* In the last frame, Calvin is sitting wide-eyed in bed, and says, “I don’t remember it ending like THAT.”
* To which Hobbes replies, “I wonder if the townsfolk ever found Hamster Huey’s head?”
Davalynn Spencer
Ah, yes. Creativity! My own children and I loved C&H.
Carol Ashby
I remember that one! Laughed out loud at it, too.
Janet Ann Collins
I once read about a study where scientists interviewed the highest functioning students at the best colleges and universities in America about the method that had been used to teach them to read. The scientists expected to find out which method worked best but, to their surprise, the discovered the only thing the students had in common was that their parents had read to them all the time when they were little kids. Of course the parents who did that were probably smart, so heredity must have been a factor. Both my parents read to me at bedtime, usually alternating nights, until I learned to read by myself.
Judy Gann
A few comments from a former early literacy librarian: Rachel, this study surprises me too. I’ll show the article to my former supervisor and get back to you. Perhaps, as the study says, it’s “special” for dad to read and the children are more attuned. The important thing is that parents (mom or dad) are reading to the child. Yes, open-ended discussion questions are better than factual ones for developing language skills.
Damon J. Gray
I have no memory of either of my parents reading to me. I read to my three children every night before bedtime. A couple of favorites – we read the entire Narnia collection (“Oh, just one more chapter daddy…”) and also the Big Blue Book of Bible Stories. They liked King Og of Bashan, because he had the enormous bed! (Deut. 3). 😉