Blogger: Rachel Kent
The Olympics have me thinking about confidence these days. I think those gymnasts must go into their routines feeling confident or else they would mess up each time because of shaky limbs. Same with athletes in every sport. You don’t get to the Olympics by doubting yourself.
In the publishing world, most everyone is insecure at first about letting others read something they’ve written, but through little encouragements confidence grows to the point a writer is ready to submit a manuscript or proposal to editors and agents.
A sample journey to confidence might look something like this:
May has always loved reading and writing. She received good grades on her English papers and creative writing assignments during college. She’s decided that she wants to publish a story. Her good grades have given her enough confidence to submit a short story to a local magazine. The magazine picks up the story, and May receives encouraging reviews from the editor and some readers. She then writes her first novel and nervously allows a few of her friends to read it. They offer some advice on how she could improve the story, but overall they have a lot of praise for her writing. Her confidence has been built up enough to submit her revised novel to an online critique group–allowing strangers to read her book for the first time. Her online group praises her writing, and she then feels confident enough to query agents and editors, with the ultimate goal of getting her book out there for a large audience.
It’s easy to see that May’s confidence could have been squelched at any point and that could have been enough to discourage her to the point of quitting. Thankfully fictional May took those first steps toward publication even though they were scary for her.
Now I’d like to hear about your journey to confidence in your writing. Sharing your story could encourage another writer to continue down the road to publication. Everyone will have a different story and will have faced different obstacles. Here are some questions to help prompt you.
Where are you in your confidence journey?
What has built your confidence the most?
Has anything or anybody squelched your confidence? How did you recover?
I wasn’t too confident until I actually started speaking out loud last year, “I am a writer.” I introduced myself as a writer. I wrote about being a writer. I finally believed I was a writer.
That’s great, Sundi! I’m glad that you are able to self motivate and build confidence that way. That will help a lot when/if you are faced with rejections.
There’s things I am so not confident in — music recitals on the stage, for instance — but writing has always been the thing that I do because I do, because it allows me to say the things I can’t find the words for.
In our family, I was always “the writer.” I don’t know how you build confidence more than your parents saying they’re proud of you, that you did good. And so I write.
To me, it’s okay if people don’t like it. I mean, sometimes I don’t like things people say — doesn’t mean they should give up talking! If we scour through our words long enough, we’re bound to find snippets of truth.
I used to HATE music recitals. I’ve since quit playing instruments because it wasn’t my thing at all, but I went through 12 years of piano lessons. I never felt confident in it.
I like how you share how writing was natural for you and so it was easier to be confident in it. I think that’s very true.
A huge part of my confidence comes from parents who supported me all my life. Another is this deep knowing that God has me on this writing path, and He’ll help me take the next step.
I’ve always been a go-getter. There are definitely times when my confidence has wavered and I’ve wondered why in the world I’m writing–but then I look at the message I want to convey, and how much I simply love writing, and how far God has brought me already–and I keep going.
My confidence is in the fact that all my life, I’ve been preparing for this: I’ve been writing since I was little, I devour books, I have degrees in journalism and English, and I have a message to share.
Ah! Parents again! Yay for encouraging parents. 🙂 They really do make a difference.
Great thoughts and questions, Rachel. 🙂 I’m looking forward to reading everyone’s responses. For me, I’ve always wanted to write, but I never thought I was good enough. Other than personal writing, and writing for our church newsletter, I’ve not had a lot of experience.
When I dared to begin a novel a couple years ago, my husband got completely on board with me doing this. A close friend, who’s an author, has given me great feedback and suggestions for learning and improving my writing. I’ve attended a few retreats where the presenters have shown me my strengths as well as my areas needing improvement. All this to say, my confidence is growing slowly.
Encouragement helps my confidence to grow. When someone gives me feedback and suggestions for improvement in a gracious way, it helps me see that my writing is worth improving, if that makes sense. 🙂
My confidence has taken a tumble after receiving contest results, but when I remember that writing is a journey not a sprint, and that God has given me stories to write, my confidence grows again.
Sorry for the rambling. 🙂
I love your last line here. “I remember that writing is a journey not a sprint, and that God has given me stories to write.” Thanks for that reminder!
Hee…I think I’ve been way too overconfident. Winning writing contests easily kind of spoiled me, so I wasn’t ready for the loooooong waits in the journey to publication! I keep thinking God might be dragging out this process to teach me something!
But yes, there have definitely been times I’ve been ready to give up and chuck the writing. At those times, it’s always God (often, through people I’ve never met before!) who reinforces my conviction that I have to keep writing.
My parents and husband have always supported me, as well. Although the one time I ran a book idea through my hubs, he poked a hole in the plotline…I never recovered! So he has to wait till the book is published to read it now! (He’s still waiting…grin).
I do think you’re right, Rachel–when we KNOW that God wants us to write, there’s nothing that will stop us. If God is for us, who can be against us? That gives a pretty heavy measure of confidence in this confidence-busting occupation.
My husband is a very truthful critic as well. I can always count on him for an honest opinion!
I love your last paragraph here. Thank you for sharing your wise words!
Rachel,
It’s been a winding road along my writing journey. I was one of those kids who always got ‘A’ grades in English for every story I ever wrote and it carried on into college with good grades on papers. I never really thought much about other people reading my work because teachers read it and I’d even read aloud sometimes in class.
Things changed when I became serious about writing several years ago. While I didn’t mind writers reading my work for critique, I always wondered if they’d destroy my writing. The biggest thing that’s built my confidence is realizing input can be a fantastic way to grow as a writer. You miss so much because a story is your ‘baby’ and even if you’re a great editor or rewriter, hearing some else’s input is invaluable.
I think I’ve come a long way in just a couple of years and believe my writing has improved greatly, not only from the fact I’ve written two novels but because I’ve received such positive input from writing friends.
Great comment, Kirk. I think you put words to how a lot of people feel about the writing journey. Thank you!
Thank you, Rachel, for this post. God’s timing is always wonderful. Yesterday, I saw something on Twitter that insisted that anyone who felt confident enough to call herself a writer was someone who was an untalented, unskilled amateur. This piece asserted that a REAL artist always doubts herself and would never own that she was any good. My intellectual side said, “That’s complete nonsense!” But the worry-wart deep inside of me went, “Wow, maybe there’s something wrong with me since I do feel confident owning that I am a writer, and a decent one at that.” God gave me the grace to settle that fearful voice, and your post today is a shot of affirmation.
I certainly didn’t start off confident. I’ve been writing since I was young and, as in your example, grades and positive feedback have helped build my confidence. Getting a degree in writing and having a few small things published has helped me feel I can legitimately call myself a writer.
The next goal is, for me, the Olympics: becoming a published novelist. My confidence about whether or not I’m a good enough writer to “go for the gold” wavers, in all honesty, depending on the day. I am part of a critique group and they have both bolstered my confidence and ripped it to shreds. I shared the beginning of an adult psychological mystery with them. Some members of the group liked it, others hated it (and I do mean that the reaction was that strong). So I stopped sharing that with them and have begun sharing a YA fantasy novel that I’m working on. That one they love. I sent the first pages of the psychological mystery to a Writers’ Digest Critique service to get feedback and to try to see what I was doing wrong, since I believe in the story. The critique editor’s feedback stunned me. She loved the pages and told me that to give me revision suggestions would be “a disservice to this beautiful writing.” A few days later, she emailed me with the name of her agent and suggested that I contact the agent when I finished the manuscript. I was blown away by this. It certainly did help my confidence!
This past Friday, as I prepared to share new pages of the fantasy novel with my critique group, the leader of the group, a published author, told the group how much she loved the fantasy novel. Then she said to me, “I hope I won’t hurt your feelings by saying this, but I like this so much more than your other story (the psychological mystery). I smiled and said, “Thank you and no, that doesn’t hurt my feelings.” In the recent past, it would have. I would have translated her sentence into “Your other novel stinks!” Because of the critique editor’s feedback, I heard what the leader actually said: the other novel isn’t something she wants to read. And that’s okay. Because of the feedback I’ve gotten on the two novels, I know the writing and the stories are good. I just have to make sure I market them to the right readers.
Blessings on your day! 🙂
So right, Christine. What floats one person’s boat might go unnoticed by others. Thank goodness God gave us all differing interests! Sounds like some interesting books you’re writing. I think often of how many editors passed on THE HELP, and think of how many people that reached once it finally got picked up!
Excellent point, Heather. And thank you for the encouragement. 🙂
I disagree with that twitter poster. I think like Jeanne and Heather both stated, that if God is calling you to do something feeling confident in it is pretty natural. Doubt can be a tool to keep you from doing what God wants.
Some people really do struggle with doubt, but they are able to keep going even without feeling very confident because they know it’s what God wants.
Thanks for your comment!
I feel a lot like your fictional May, writing since I was young and being encouraged by my parents and other adults around me. The two biggest post-childhood encouragements I’ve received were:
– In a freshman college class, my professor (who was himself a published author) pulled me aside as he was handing back essays and said mine was one of the best freshman essays he’d ever read. That, in turn, encouraged me to submit that essay to a writing contest held at our college and it placed third. Most meaningful to me was that he would care enough about encouraging me and my writing to pull me aside like that.
– Second huge piece of encouragement are the times when someone has written specifically to say God spoke to them through something I wrote. That’s pretty crazy to think about!!
Isn’t hearing that God has used you and/or your writing to touch a life such a cool thing?! I love that.
Rachel,
I’m never confident. I freak out every time I click “send” or “submit.” I write, sure I’m going to get slammed w/negative reviews. I have stacks of rejections from publishers.
I preach every weekend, certain no sane listener will ever return. I watch the Olympics, awed by the courage of those athletes taking the stage before the world.
No, I’m not confident much at all.
I’m good with that.
The cool thing is that God uses me anyway, and it’s an amazing feeling.
Thanks for this.
Love that God uses us in our weaknesses–our confidence is from Him!!
Wow, you think like me Bill, except for the preaching every week part. 🙂
Sounds like you are confident that God will use you if you let him and that’s good enough for me! 🙂
Keep it up. I like what you write!
I got my first publishing acceptance too early on in the game, and it gave me the false impression that the whole “writing” thing would be a breeze! LOL After many rejections I know the truth now, that’s it’s a lot of hard work. I’m trying to concerntrate on enjoying the journey and not only focusing on the destination.
The publishing world really is a challenging one and viewing your writing as a journey is really the best way to look at it.
Sharing my work has always felt incredibly vulnerable to me. Opening up my writing to others feels like distributing little pieces of my heart.
I feel like God has used the most vulnerable posts of my blog to really move and open up others to share. That has a been a special experience for me. My readers have built up my hope that I might be able to make a difference with my writing. I pray for the courage to keep going forward.
It is interesting how God works through our vulnerability!
I’m one of those very rare people who’s sure enough of myself that I’m as close to immune to peer pressure as it’s possible to be. What other people think has never been something I consider first, or even second or third.
I’ve never struggled with confidence issues, even with my writing. It’s when people question my research, or judge my state’s history by that of Georgia and Virginia, when rejection stings. People outside Louisiana truly have no idea how unique and different this state is from the rest of the country.
Showing my writing to people isn’t hard because I lack confidence in it. It’s hard because I’m such a private person and no one else could possibly love these characters as much as I do. There are still things I’ve written or toyed around with that I’ve never shared with a soul, and probably never will. But not from a lack of confidence. It’s mostly because I don’t want to.
You are lucky to have strong confidence. Were you a confident child too? I’m intrigued because it sounds like even though you are confident that you are still introverted and a private person. Would you describe yourself as an introvert or an extrovert? I think of extroverts as more confident in general.
Rachel, my experience is different than the one you explain above. When I was in high school, I thought I wanted to be a writer. I had this cranky old English teacher, and it was my greatest desire to please him. The best grade I ever got from him was a B+. In college I studied Journalism and did all right, but I never had any real encouragement about my writing. Besides in my knowledge of grammar, which is freakishly complete, I’ve never been confident in my writing. When I first started writing a novel, I didn’t plan to let anyone read it. But I loved it so much, I found so much joy in it, that I decided to take the leap and let people read it. I’ve received both encouraging remarks and discouraging ones since then on this writing journey, but I’ve learned a lot along the way. So many small things people have said and done have helped me continue, even when it’s hard. And I received my first contract this summer, so I guess I’m doing something right.
Thanks for sharing and congratulations on the contract!!!
Probably the biggest time I was discouraged (after selling 15 or so books and several hundred articles) was when I broke my wrist in 4 places. I thought, “This gives me more time to write,” so I dug out a bunch of older articles to send out as reprints, and waited for the response. They came–12 rejections in one day! I threw the envelopes on the floor and told my husband, “I quit!” Then I sensed the Lord speaking to me, “This is a time I want you to just get close to Me.” And I realized that although I couldn’t type a lot, I could pray for people, read the Bible and other books, and send out encouragement cards. Four months in a cast (the break, then later surgery for 3 torn ligaments and a torn cartilage) gave me a lot of time to do this.
OUCH! That sounds very painful. The broken wrist and the 12 rejections too.
God sure made it clear to you that your concentrating on prayer and encouragement was what he wanted at that time.
One thing that has helped me a great deal is to realize that even great, published authors don’t churn out beautiful prose on the first try. I love reading acknowledgements where authors talk about tough critique partners who made their work better. Knowing they face this also makes it easier to bear when my crit partners are tough on me. Still, it helps a lot when critique partners also point out the parts that are good and not just focus on the bad :o).
I like the sandwich method where you put a critique between two positives. 🙂
I’ve got a bit of a split personality on this one. Half of me, the day job AP-format writer is fairly confident, but the fiction gal is a big, squirmy bag of self-doubt. Fortunately, I get regular boosts of confidence from some terrific critique partners, and of course Hubby. I suppose the biggest confidence squelcher came in the form of an early query rejection: Email query 5:00 PM. Rejection 5:05 with a heartfelt “no thanks” response. 🙂
That is a quick rejection!
I’m glad that you are getting confidence boosts from your hubby and critique partners. It sounds like they are going to be very important travel companions on your writing journey!
On a completely unrelated topic :), thanks so much for the Anne Stengel book. It came yesterday; I’m looking forward to reading it.
Glad it arrived! Enjoy!
I’m glad May’s online critique group was so encouraging. Mine in college were always cutthroat! 🙂
Thank you for writing this post. It is always helpful to remember confidence plays such a role in writing. You can’t put forth your best effort unless you believe it it.
May’s critique group was fictional after all…
And thanks! I’m glad the post was helpful.
I’ll answer the questions in reverse order:
My mom and publishers have squelched my confidence the most. My mom, because she’s never read anything I’ve written and yet thinks the only way I’ll get published is if I pay for the process myself. And publishers, because they’ve passed on my manuscripts saying that I lack something. (Painful to report, but true. If only I knew what I lacked.)
Any confidence I have began in high school when a ‘marker’ graded my historical action short story, Attack On The Conestoga Wagon, as the highest in the class. My teacher almost wiped that gain away however, when she said she would’ve graded it lowest because at the age of 15, I should’ve been writing contemporary romance like my classmates instead of violent gunfights on the pioneer trail. (shrug)
A university creative writing teacher said one of my stories was boring, and explained why. What an eye-opener! After that, his praise and high marks told me I was on the right path.
My husband is my confidence booster. He pushed me back into writing after putting down an inspirational category romance and saying, “You could write that. Why don’t you?” He bought me a laptop and away I went with my fingers galloping across the keys.
Where am I on my confidence journey? It wavers as the rejections come in, but my Inky sisters, my crit partners, my family and faith hold me up. You see, I know I can write well, but the question is… can I write well enough to satisfy today’s consumer?
I think it’s amazing how we are able to remember every encouragement and discouragement along the path to our dreams. Those moments are always so clear.
Rachel,
Interesting that you posted this, because I thought the same thing while watching these Olympic games. It’s like their whole lives so far have led up to this one climactic moment. Confidence can make or break a person in a moment like that.
Whenever I’m hitting that cyclical plunge down the roller-coaster ride that all writers experience, God inevitably encourages me somehow. If it weren’t for Him, I don’t think I’d have any confidence in what I do.
Gosh…my confidence seems to be a day in-day out thing. I may read parts of my manuscript one day and think it’s really good and then the next day be doubting. Also right now, I’ve been dealing with the “make the sequel better than the first book” issue. 😀
But deep down, it’s the peace from God that this is what I’m supposed to be doing right now in my life that gives me the boost and confidence to continue, especially when my research links up beautifully together. It’s like God is saying, “You can do this. This is what you are meant to do. I am right here with you.” That’s the best feeling in the world.
After I had worked as a newspaper reporter and editor, we moved to a remote area, so I decided to freelance instead. I sent a a silly article about the importance of writing letters to 14 women’s magazines. All were rejected quickly, so I figured my writing career was over. A few years later at a women’s retreat God said, “I want you to write for me.” Hmmm…had no idea what that meant, so I went to three Christian writers’ conferences within the next year. God’s call has given me confidence…and not allowed me to quit.
This is in regards to tomorrow’s post. Probably the first time ever Rachelle won’t get comments. I’m predicting the future. 🙂
There is no way to comment on her post. She invites us to tell our frustrations about publishing and then we can’t comment. Hmmm. Is there a conspiracy here? 🙂
You may delete this comment. I just wanted to tell you that there is some glitch on Rachelle’s post.
Go try again. I think I fixed it. 🙂 –Rachel
Somewhere along the line, I lost my drive to publish at any cost, and came home to wanting to write well enough to be published. I didn’t realize how challenging that would be for my small store of courage.
Do I dare to create the character I really see, or will I compromise her or him somehow? Can I be very clear on what this character, as I’ve envisioned him or her, will do in response to the plot I’m thinking of subjecting her or him to? Do I have the courage to both kill my darlings, and to try to elevate the rest of the writing to contain them comfortably?
Do I have the courage to give in to my love of writing one more time, and sit down to the keyboard, shutting down my browser?
Do I have the courage not to settle?
I’d love to tell you I have answers to all these questions, and the right ones at that. Alas, I don’t.