Blogger: Wendy Lawton
The question that often comes up this time of year is this: What is appropriate in the way of gifts for agents, editors and those on your publishing team?
I speak for no one but myself, but here’s what I think:
- Agent-to-Client—Your agent may send you a card at Christmas, but chances are he or she isn’t going to buy gifts for clients. Here’s why: If an agent has a list of, say, fifty clients it would be impossible to buy meaningful, hand-selected gifts for each one. There’s just not enough time to find the perfect gift. So if I were to buy gifts, they would probably just be a corporate-type choice. That’s not what Christmas is about, so I don’t even make the attempt.
- Client-to-Agent—Many of our clients do buy wonderful, thoughtful gifts, and they are always appreciated. Other clients do not buy gifts. (No, we don’t keep lists of who does and who doesn’t.) I’ve often thought of writing to my clients to absolve them of the need to buy gifts since I know how crazy (and expensive) gift-giving is at Christmas, but I always stop myself. I know some people speak the language of gifts, and I need to receive each gift as a communication of appreciation. I thought about trying to involve clients in my own charitable gift-giving-plan but asking clients to help with a specific project sounded too much like asking for a gift. So the answer remains, a gift is always appreciated, never expected.
- Writer-to-Editor— Many writers buy a personal gift for their editors. This is appropriate and appreciated but never expected. I talked with editors about the gift issue on my last trip. Some editors suggested that a gift at a non-Christmas time might be even more welcome since everyone thinks of Christmas. And whenever gift-giving is mentioned, the subject of chocolate seems to come up. 🙂
- Writer-to-Editorial/Marketing/Sales-Team— This is where it gets tricky. First of all, if you want to send a gift to everyone who works on your books, it can easily get out of hand. Plus you would need to obtain a list of everyone from your publisher, and sometimes they aren’t comfortable giving out all these employee names. The same editors I was with last week suggested a gift that can be put in the break room and enjoyed by all. The perfect time to do this might even coincide with sales conference so all the sales people can partake as well. I’ve heard of authors who will foot the bill for a pizza lunch for everyone at their publishing house or provide a huge basket of gourmet cookies. It’s a very nice way to show thanks. A whole passel of Starbucks cards can’t be beat either– it’s like saying, “Take a coffee break on me.”
So what about you? Does the question of whether to gift or not to gift worry you? What do you do? What other times of the year might be a fun time to give presents instead of Christmas?
Good morning Wendy, I love getting gifts, but I think I love giving them even more. I know, I think my sainthood, or at least a monument dedicated to my awesomeness, is just around the corner.
I love finding just the right thing for someone, but I make myself show some restraint because we’re a one income household with 4 kids. And to me, it’s not about the price of a gift, it’s about the “holy cow, NO ONE ELSE will ever find this” factor.
My VBBF (that’s very best best friend) is a knitting junkie. She knows who Kaffe Fassett is, let’s put it that way. So what do you get for someone who can knit on that level? You pray and wait. And when you’re at a craft fair in tiny little Alejandro de Terma, Chuquisaca, Bolivia, and you see a woman with purple hands spinning just dyed wool onto a spindle, you buy the wool and the spindle fom the very stunned lady, and laugh yourself silly at God’s provision. Then when your VBBF gets it on the mail and cries like a baby, you know you you got just the right gift.
But, what if you happen to have a bit of skill at ridiculously extravagant desserts? And all your friends drop subtle, well disguised, 007 secret level hints like “I want a triple chocolate cheesecake on my birthday, which in in 4 days and I’d like it delivered at lunchtime so I can spend the whole day with me, my spoon and it.”
Or, “if I had a chocolate pate (pah-tay) I’d be happier and my wicked PMS would go away”.
Or my personal favourite “I bet if you made me some cinnamon buns with cream cheese icing, I would stack a cord of firewood and put snow tires on both vans.”
And somewhere down God’s perfect road, there’s an agent opening up a hand made card, complete with ribbons and perfectly coordinated brads and accent papers, that says, in hand done calligraphy… “thank you for saying yes”.
Love your stories, Jennifer.
Thank you very much.
Love these, Jennifer! Let me guess, your last story might, just possibly, have been a veiled (or not) request from your husband….Hmmm. I love that you work to make gifts unique. I could take lessons from you.
Hee hee hee! How does one work their way onto your gift list? 😉
I’ve given this alot of thought today…and I’ve come up with a deep, meaningful answer…
cash.
😉
Hilarious and clever–as always, Jennifer.
Happy Thanksgiving (very, very late since you had it when…a couple of weeks ago?) So an early Merry Christmas! 🙂
Thank you Christine! Have a lovely Thanksgiving.
Thank you, Jennifer 🙂
Great gift ideas, Jennifer. You are so creative.
Happy Thanksgiving, Wendy!
The season of giving is a blessing and a curse. (Blessing = showing and receiving appreciation. Curse = colorful words I have been known to spout during the gift search.) I am sure many of your blog followers do this, but after a particularly wallet-draining Christmas in 2010, I selected a charity, made a donation, and listed anyone and everyone I wanted to recognize on the gift line. No, it is not the most heartfelt, warm/fuzzy gift, but it keeps the stress level down, and the meaning of Christmas alive.
I should mention – this only works for professional colleagues. Family expects gifts – thus, the cursing continues. If you have young children, avoid me in checkout lines.
I loved this !!! Actually, my brother and his fabulous wife LOVED knowing that I gave soccer balls through Compassion in their name.
If I’m in Target or JCrew and I hear really interesting translations of the Greek words for “golly, I am not happy”, I’ll yell “Kathryn? Is that you?”
Most likely! 🙂
Love Global Gift Catalogs! Helpful and meaningful!
I know. It’s so easy to bury the meaning of Christmas in the to-do list.
I’m with Jennifer–it’s finding that perfect gift that fills me with joy. And giving it right then. No waiting for a birthday or Christmas–if it’s the right gift, it must be the right time!
And I love your point about accepting gifts graciously. I used to stress over accepting anything from a compliment on up to a piece of furniture (Dad buys and sells antiques). But you really can’t beat a big smile and a “thank you.” I know that’s usually what I want in return.
Happy Thanksgiving!
I love finding the perfect gift and then I can barely stand to wait until I give it!
Exactly! If I don’t give it, I’ll tell what it is or drop incredibly obvious hints because I’m so excited.
Your dad WHAT??
Have your parents considered adopting a 49 year old with her own tools and a deep love of all things bird’s eye maple????
I’ll get my mom to act casual and look the other way when I back the moving van up to ‘Dad’s’ place.
Noooo. I will not be stealing.
Much.
😉
Yes, I thought of you as I let that slip! He’s slowed down since remarrying, but I don’t think he’ll ever stop looking for those fabulous steals at auction. It’s great when you can ask your dad for a dining room table for Christmas and know he’ll probably spend less than he would on a cashmere sweater!
I’m with you, Sarah. Thinking about and finding or making a gift that is specifically for the person I’m giving it too–and then watching the person open the gift–is the best part of gift-giving to me. I love it.
That’s such an important tip– giving it right then. Especially with children. The gifts go on and on at Christmas when, if spaced out, a child could much more easily savor the gift and the giver.
Jennifer and Sarah, I love your knack for being able to find the perfect gift. I was not born with that gifting. 😉 I like those rare times when I do find that perfect gift for someone, it just doesn’t happen often. So, kudos to you for being able to do that. 🙂
In answer to your questions, Wendy, I do enjoy giving gifts. I usually don’t find myself getting worried about whether to gift or not to gift. Of course, now that I’ve written that, I’ll probably find myself in a situation where I get knotted up answering that question. 🙂 I usually tend to gift rather than not gift.
As for giving gifts to professional associates at other times of the year, what about a “Just Because” gift, say in mid-May, or July or October? Or, what about for Thanksgiving? I’m just thinking out loud.
My family is easy to buy for, because most of them prefer gift cards. I wish they wanted other, more personal gifts, but at least I meet their desires in giving a card. Sometimes I make a little something by hand (i.e. decorating a picture frame, stamping on tea towels, and the like), but I don’t always have time to create. Sigh.
I’m rambling, so I’ll sign off. 🙂
May 7th. That’s the perfect date to send m…someone something. Totally random date and has nothing to do with my birthday.
It’s a TOTAL coincidence.
But, if you had an iris stamp, I’d trade a few stamped tea towels for the box that the cinnamon buns were in.
Isn’t May 7th the Shameless Request Gifting Day?
Yes, it’s on the calendars here in Canuckia. And whoever is born on Shameless Request Gifting day gets DOUBLE!!
Hmmmm, Jennifer . . . very tempting indeed! 😉 Nice to know there’s another May baby in the group.
I know what you mean, Jeanne. Most of the people I give gifts to want gift cards and I honor that, but I like to give a personal, handmade gift of some kind, something that comes from the heart. Giving gift cards feels just one step up from giving cash.
Happy Thanksgiving!
I hope your Thanksgiving is wonderful too, Christine!
A Just-Because gift can brighten an otherwise forgettable day. Isn’t August the month with no holidays? What a perfect time to send a just-because gift.
Great idea!
So what about you? Does the question of whether to gift or not to gift worry you? What do you do? What other times of the year might be a fun time to give presents instead of Christmas?
I try not to worry about the question of whether to gift or not to gift. I think it fun to give chocolates or other goodies at other times of the year like around Halloween, Thanksgiving, or Valentine’s Day.
Wendy, I want to wish you and everyone at Books and Such a Happy Thanksgiving! I am very thankfull for the Books and Such blog (and Rachelle’s regular blog too). I find this blog very informative and I have learned so much over the time I have been following (around two year, I think). It is a very open blog. I am glad I am a regular.
Thank you, Lori. We love our community here and give thanks for each one of you.
This is a great topic! I’m glad you covered it. I really enjoy putting together gift baskets year round. Just as thank yous. Throughout the years I’ve spent a fortune mailing packages out to CPs but its’ worth it to me.
I really do appreciate those who go that extra mile and connect with me. So many people in this world fail to do that.
I really can’t wait to send a thank you to my future agent and editor.
I love the creativity of a beautiful gift basket– so artistic– but I soon realized that it’s so easy for the cost to soar when you keep putting items in. I’m trying to challenge myself with the gifts I’m giving to be decisive and choose one single gift. Much harder!
Way back in the last millennium when I worked for a major Christian publisher, authors sent yummy stuff to us for Christmas. Bags of pistachios, boxes of chocolates, all kinds of good stuff sitting in the middle of the department, tempting you every time you walked to the copier. And walked back again because you got distracted and forgot what you were doing. 🙂
Wendy, thanks for sharing those thoughts on gifts. I do hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and some relaxing time off.
And thanks for your insight from the other side of the publishing desk. I hate to think how many pounds we gain each Christmas from the break room alone.
Thank you for the advice, Wendy. As you said, this kind of gift-giving can get tricky (and expensive).
I love to give surprise to-let-you-know-I-appreciate you gifts. I really dislike how Christmas has become associated with compulsory gift-giving. My family, which is quite small now because of deaths, has stopped giving presents for Christmas. We give cards to one another and just focus on the meaning of the day and the gift of one another.
As I said above to Jeanne, many people now want gift cards, and I understand that. You can use them when you want and buy what you want, no standing in exchange lines or piling unused gifts in a closet. Still, I prefer to give gifts that require thought whenever possible. I like doing handmade gifts. During the time that I taught at a high school, I made Christmas cards for the faculty and staff, a different picture for each person with the person’s name written on the front of the card. Putting gifts in a common area helps too, as you said. I’ve made shortbread and put it in the faculty room. Before my family stopped giving presents, one year I played Christmas songs on my electric piano and recorded them, making a Christmas album for my family. Those are the kinds of gifts I love to give. One other thing my family did that I thought was a good idea was to give handmade coupons for gifts. These coupons would be something such as: Good for one free neckrub. No expiration date. I don’t know if anyone ever redeemed one of these coupons, but we all enjoyed thinking of things that we could do for each other.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
I love those very personal gift ideas, Christine. I have one client (Hi, Camy!) who always gifts me with an exquisite knitted gift. I treasure these not only for the artistry but the most precious gift these days is a gift of time.
For several years Mom and I have worked with Waterbrook Publishing and Alive Communications, and we’re lucky to live in the same town as these two organizations. At Christmastime I put together trays of homemade goodies, and we go visit the folks at Waterbrook and Alive. It’s been a privilege getting to see our editor and Mom’s agent on a regular basis. We consider them good friends.
My gift giving conflicts come more in relation to my boys’ teachers and the school staff. There are so many of them and they do so much, but I can’t possibly give them all gifts. I solved my problem by getting the teachers gifts at Christmas then making a goodie tray for the special resources team around Valentine’s Day. I include a note thanking them and telling them I love them. Yes, I really do. They bend over backwards for my special needs kiddo!
I’m trying to put more intention into gifts because I get depressed when it’s just a list I have to check off. I feel inadequate when I’m trying to get the perfect thing for EVERYBODY, but when it’s all about expressing my appreciation, that takes the pressure off somewhat.
I know! And when you add the mailman, the cleaning people and all the others who regularly receive gifts. . . it’s a huge drain instead of the joy it’s meant to be.
Great insight, Wendy! Yall think of everything! 🙂
I love giving gifts! And my mind’s already spinning to think of perfect gifts for my future agent/editor/sales team. 🙂 I’m a planner (can you tell!?). lol
Have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Morgan
May all your plans come to fruition. 😉
Thanks Wendy! 🙂
Yet another thing we share Morgan–being a planner. 🙂
Happy and blessed Thanksgiving, Wendy!
Hmmm…gifts.
I was just talking about this with a man I met this weekend at a wedding celebration. I shared the fact that there are seven sisters in my family and Christmas is always a big gift exchange.
He loved the special year I told him we tried something different ~ we drew names, (one gift per person) and had one rule – you couldn’t buy the gift or spend money, just use your talents, your own gifts to make it. It was the most precious Christmas. My brother-in-law drew my one-month old daughters name. He’s a silver smith in San Francisco, so he took an antique (1885, one hundred years from her birth)cup from the trash bin at work, refined and engraved it. (She turned 27 yesterday) I wrote a story about our father’s final Christmas, two years prior, for my other sister who is also a writer. She drew my husband’s name, baked his favorite German chocolate cake ~ three layers, from scratch, drove from the bay area to personally deliver it, serve it, and share it with him.
You get the idea.
How I wish we’d carried on with that tradition.
I pray throughout the year and come across gifts I can afford and don’t necessarily wait for Dec 25th to give them.
To me cards are a gift, so are photographs. I give these with relished abandon, very personally tailored to the individual person.
Being a connoisseur of chocolates, I do tend to
give freely and receive graciously of these exquisite treats too. To be honest, I should hold stock in the See’s Company by now…
Don’t you feel sorry for those who don’t live in Sees country?
Yes, I do. My son who is stationed in North Carolina now orders it online!
Like everyone else, I love to give the perfect gift.
But…
This year, all the sickening commercialism (Black Thursday, anyone?) has made me just want to go in my room and cry. What happened to the “Holy” part of “Holiday”?
If I give gifts, I think they will all be something hand-crafted, either by myself or purchased from the crafter/artist or a small, independent retailer.
Good for you and lucky for your recipients. the gift of your skill and time is the best gift of all.
Elissa,
I agree with you about the commercialism, it has risen to a new level this year, a year when our nation is deeper in debt and our fellow countrymen on the east coast are suffering great losses.
Perhaps coming to the aid of families back east offers an opportunity to, love thy brother, in a whole new way to end 2012 and begin 2013. I wonder, what would Jesus do?
Everyone in my and my husband’s family decided that we have too many children (only six!) and so we don’t exchange gifts any longer. That leaves buying only for our own six children, my husband’s mom and dad, and my mom. So, I’m available for buying gifts for agents, editors, and teams! 🙂 Seriously, great suggestions, Wendy. I’ll keep them tucked away. Thanks, and have a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving!
Six is too many? Goodness, they are missing out on the fun of gifting children– there’s nothing better at Christmas.
Let’s hope 2013 is the year you’ll have to worry about agents, editors and team gifts. 🙂
To me, gift cards are something to give only to people you don’t know well enough to figure out what they really want. I hate it when family members request them. But for people I don’t know well sometimes I’ll give one of those, or bake them some cookies. I just hope the cookies don’t end up going to anyone with food allergies or sensitivities.
But even if you do have food allergies the gift of food can be joy as you watch those you love enjoy them. Such a nice gift.
I Hate to admit it, but gifts are definitely not my love language. I wish they were, and I think it’s so great to see the creativity some people have. I love buying my kids gifts, but then again, kids are easy. My husband and I rarely exchange gifts. We will if we find something that really strikes us. But I’m much too frugal and practical to buy gift for this purpose of buying a gift. And so is he. I’m not saying it the better way, it’s just not our love language, like you mentioned above in your post. I post like this is good for me, because it never would’ve occurred to me that people would give gifts to people in the industry. Now encouraging card, that’s much more my style. I’m thankful God made us all unique. And thank you Wendy for your post today very insightful for a poor gift giver like me myself. 🙂
Thanks for this post! As a newly agented author, I value these tips and viewpoints. The holidays are so fun and I’m all about simplifying, but it is nice to send a card to let someone know you care.
Thank you for bringing up this topic. You come up with such a great variety of helpful tips and ideas for your blog. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with all of us who do not have an agent yet.
Each Christmas, I try to send a Christmas card to every editor I’ve ever worked with. I take time to write a personal message in each card, telling each editor why I appreciated working with him or her and mentioning that I hope we can work together again. If we have shared information about our families, I mention how my husband and children are doing and mention the editor’s family members in the card as well. One year, things were super busy at home and I did not get the cards out in time, so I e-mailed greetings to everyone. I prefer the cards, but the e-mails were better than nothing and were still appreciated.
I have been blessed to have gotten to work with several wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ who make this writing adventure much less frightening than I think it would be if I were dealing with secular companies. I think it is important to remember that they are business contacts as well as brothers and sisters in Christ.
My main goal is to let the editors know they are appreciated and respected. They have extremely heavy work loads and need to be ministered to just as much as any other human being. But, it also doesn’t hurt that the card reminds them that I exist and may put my name in their heads as they, or other editors they know, are planning new projects.
I delight in, cause I discovered just what I used to be taking a look for. You have ended my four day lengthy hunt! God Bless you man. Have a nice day. Bye