Blogger: Wendy Lawton
I addressed this a few years ago but the question that often comes up this time of year is this: What is appropriate in the way of gifts for agents, editors and those on your publishing team?
I speak for no one but myself, but here’s what I think:
- Agent-to-Client—Your agent may send you a card at Christmas, but chances are he or she isn’t going to buy gifts for clients. Here’s why: If an agent has a list of, say, fifty clients it would be impossible to buy meaningful, hand-selected gifts for each one. There’s just not enough time to find the perfect gift. So if I were to buy gifts, they would probably just be a corporate-type choice. That’s not what Christmas is about, so I don’t even make the attempt.
- Client-to-Agent—Many of our clients do buy wonderful, thoughtful gifts, and they are always appreciated. Other clients do not buy gifts. (No, we don’t keep lists of who does and who doesn’t.) I’ve often thought of writing to my clients to absolve them of the need to buy gifts since I know how crazy (and expensive) gift-giving is at Christmas, but I always stop myself. I know some people speak the language of gifts, and I need to receive each gift as a communication of appreciation. I thought about trying to involve clients in my own charitable gift-giving-plan but asking clients to help with a specific project sounded too much like asking for a gift. So the answer remains, a gift is always appreciated, never expected.
- Writer-to-Editor— Many writers buy a personal gift for their editors. This is appropriate and appreciated but never expected. I talked with editors about the gift issue on my last trip. Some editors suggested that a gift at a non-Christmas time might be even more welcome since everyone thinks of Christmas. And whenever gift-giving is mentioned, the subject of chocolate seems to come up. 🙂
- Writer-to-Editorial/Marketing/Sales-Team— This is where it gets tricky. First of all, if you want to send a gift to everyone who works on your books, it can easily get out of hand. Plus you would need to obtain a list of everyone from your publisher, and sometimes they aren’t comfortable giving out all these employee names. The same editors I spoke to recently suggested a gift that can be put in the break room and enjoyed by all. The perfect time to do this might even coincide with sales conference so all the sales people can partake as well. I’ve heard of authors who will foot the bill for a pizza lunch for everyone at their publishing house or provide a huge basket of gourmet cookies. It’s a very nice way to show thanks. A whole passel of Starbucks cards can’t be beat either– it’s like saying, “Take a coffee break on me.”
So what about you? Anyone else overwhelmed with a gift list? Does the question of whether to gift or not to gift worry you? What do you do? What other times of the year might be a fun time to give presents instead of Christmas?
I give out plates of home-made rosettes (fried air, as a coworker describes them). Back when I had four sons at home, I made them by the hundreds. My youngest was in kindergarten, and his teacher’s teenage son was a friend of one of my older boys. He said told me, “Mrs. Abbott, those cookies you made for my mom were great!”
* I asked, “Did you leave any for your mother?”
* “She maybe got one.”
* I’m bringing rosettes to our Books and Such kaffeeklatsch!
I love baking for friends and neighbors, too. Your rosettes sound amazing!
Nothing more yummy, Shirlee!
Birthdays are a nice time to give gifts. There have been a few times I’ve seen something and it reminded me of a person so much I bought it for them just because they’re special to me.
What about gifts to the people who help you publish your book?
Giving at birthdays is a great idea, Jackie. 🙂
Gifting at birthdays is sweet…takes a little extra effort to remember those dates. 🙂
I think the occasional gift (birthday or just for no reason) to a friend just because it is perfect is the very best. I hate that most people put so many expectations on gifts– if I get a gift I need to give a gift or if I buy once I’m committed to gifting forever. So ruins the joy of giving and receiving.
Last year, I bought my best friend a goat through Compassion.
This year, I bought a borehole well for another dear friend.
I think the BFF is getting chickens to go with the goat.
All through Compassion.
Giving gifts that serve others has become something I enjoy doing, very much.
And let me say, when your best friend calls you up, crying, and says “I love my goat!” you end up crying too.
To be blunt, gift cards are awesome. I may know a family who won 500$ in gift cards from their youngest kid’s hockey team raffle, and that couple is really, really thankful because the mom wrecked her back, the darling dad is run off his feet taking care of everything, including meals and clean up and laundry and driving all over town for hockey and she cannot leave the house unless it’s for a medical appointment and she feels downright awful because face it, moms put Christmas together, she’s slowly getting back on her feet for a limited amount of time per day, and to top it all off, funds are really, really tight this year.
So those gift cards are a huge blessing.
Or so I’m told. 😉
But if someone’s BFF skipped a gift card and got her a chicken coop, she’d be thrilled. Or the knit lace purple scarf. But the BFF never reads this blog, so it’s all good.
I love the idea of alternative gifts. I’ve often done that for my parents and friends who have “everything.”
Oh my word, my parents really do have everything!
Well, maybe not *everything*.
I’m pretty sure Grandma wants a five book deal for her favourite daughter. And maybe Kevin Costner to direct the movies.
😉
I had good, good friends who are Gideons gift me by donating a Bible in my name. I can’t tell you what that means … to know that somewhere in this world there is a Bible out there, maybe in some hotel room, and it might minister to someone … that’s a sweet feeling.
Shelli, I love that!
Yes! I love gifts given in our honor to others.
My family has resorted to the gift card way of gifting for Christmas. Honestly, I miss the days when we’d try to buy the ideal gift for each individual. I still do this for some of my friends, which I thoroughly enjoy.
*This post is helpful, as I am not yet agented or published. I’ll be referring back to it one day, I hope. 🙂
*The other tricky gifting aspect is for my son’s teachers, now that he’s in junior high. So many teachers can equal great expense. I have one friend who’s baking for the teachers. We may follow suit, especially since we have a snow day today. 🙂
*This is such a practical post, Wendy. Thank you.
I agree that gifting teachers can be tough. Thankfully, our school has a $ limit policy for gift giving. Though, $10 from each student in a class of 25 adds up for a nice group gift!!
I remember those days of teacher gifts– so difficult to come up with something meaningful.
Well, I don’t have all that to blessedly deal with, but sometimes even buying for family can be overwhelming. I love earning points by using my credit card (on purchases I have to spend money on anyway) … I save the points, and by the end of the year, I can get several $25 gift cards from restaurants and a whole host of different places. So, I’ll give family members restaurant gift cards with maybe matching t-shirts that didn’t cost a fortune (for mom and dad, etc.). And like you mentioned, you can’t go wrong with Starbucks … that’s usually what we get the girls’ Sunday school teachers for investing their lives into them weekly. Which leads me to how much we appreciate you, Wendy, and all the B&S team for weekly pouring your lives and wisdom into us. It’s invaluable and could never be repaid. Thank you!
I agree with you, Shelli, about the gift cards. We just received several from doing Christmas early with my in-laws and we’re excited to have a few nights out for dinner coming up over the holidays. It’s like gifting an experience and not just another “thing” you don’t need.
Thank you, Shelli. Believe me, it is our pleasure. We enjoy this “family.”
Like a few others here, I’m not yet represented or published, but appreciate this input, Wendy! I work on a church staff of 25+ people and so I order enough family cards to give to each co-worker. It’s a nice “Merry Christmas” gesture without adding up to too much investment. I like to think “it’s the thought that counts” is not a dead concept. 🙂 For other associates, friends, etc. I am a huge fan of Starbucks or Target gift cards. Easy and gives them a reason to feel treated.
I really do like the attitude of a gift card representing an event or an opportunity. It makes it less faceless, doesn’t it?
Since chocolate was mentioned, anytime is a good time for chocolate. Labor Day, Fourth of July, Arbor Day etc…
Right. National Gutter Cleaning Day, Waterfowl Migration Day. . .
Thank you for sharing your take on gift giving at Christmas, Wendy! I always worry about whether or not I should gift. I never want to offend anyone, but there’s no realistic budget I can write to cover the cost of purchasing a gift for everyone I consider close. So I attempt to give them my time when I can, and help out where I see there is need. Nothing big or flashy, rather simple ways to show my gratitude for their love and friendship.
There’s a wonderful company in WV that makes hand-crafted chocolates. Last year I sent a big box to the attention of my editor to share with everyone at the office. My love language is feeding people 😉
That’s a great idea, Sarah … one big gift to be shared. When I was in my early 20s, I worked in a doctor’s office, and at Christmas, the pharmaceutical companies would bring in food for us all to share. We loved that!
I love to be generous, but it’s not always possible. Happily, we have a nice local chocolatier who makes delicious and affordable assortments, and I usually send that in a situation where there is a team of people who have helped make my writing life possible. That way the gift can be shared in the break room … and “consumable” means no one has to dust it! In years where even the chocolate and the shipping weren’t possible, I’ve sent a hand-written and heartfelt card thanking the recipient for all they’ve done. I’ve never felt pressured to gift professional colleagues. It if doesn’t come from the heart, who wants it?
I want to speak specifically to the editorial/marketing/sales team. At Christmas and a month prior to a release, I send a card or letter to each member along with a $5.00 Starbucks card. Sounds small, but when a sales person said to be remembered by an author was special, I realized I’d make sure they were never forgotten.
Love this, DiAnn. Thank for letting us see how a “small” gift still can mean a lot.
My birthday is exactly two weeks before Christmas. My birthday often has been mixed into Christmas. 🙂 (As anyone who has a birthday in December will relate!)
I have a long distance friend who has routinely every year sent me a couple Ghirardelli chocolates (perfect! This year was peppermint chocolate and I immediately stuff one into my mouth,) a very small notebook (handmade paper/cover with a beaded closure, different color every year) and a small, inexpensive, but tasteful frame or coaster or ornament for my birthday. I actually look forward to it more than any other gift I receive at this time of the year! Granted, she is the Queen of making you feel loved and is gifted (ha!) at thoughtfulness. I have no way of even coming close at reciprocating. (I should try….) I have another friend who sends a beautiful card with words from the heart in her beautiful handwriting and I always end up saving it in a drawer to get out when I’m down.
I, on the other hand, actually feel stressed at gift-giving occasions. I wish I had a go-to gift to give to others that are equally thoughtful and express a personal touch. I need to think about that.
This is a really nice list and what a gift at a time of year where most feel overwhelmed. I think it covers for any gift-giving occasion among writers. Thanks so much for addressing that topic. 🙂
Now, if you could address the topic of putting poems on an individual’s Facebook wall, demanding comment…. 😀
I just had a new book come out last week and know that several editors worked on it, so I’m just sending flowers so everyone can enjoy them.
Yes, Wendy, Christmas gifting is probably the most stressful time of the year for me. Mostly I want to give more than I can, and this year I thought seriously about if I should give a present to my wonderful agent. I decided to forgo Christmas, when we all give and receive gifts, and instead, give something when it felt like I should. That way, it might be a nice little surprise for her and add to the enjoyment of the unexpected gift.
Lovely post, thank you so much for addressing this for us.
In the beginning, I created special gifts for my agent. As time has evolved, my agent started a wonderful tradition of sending Samaritan’s Purse contributions in honor of each client as part of his gifting. So I have done the same thing. Each year I pick an item from the Samaritan’s Purse catalog (like Bibles and literature or helping kids learn to read)–and send that in honor of my agent. None of us need anything, and the gifts benefit so many!
Funny you mention the language of gifts.
Gifts are soo NOT my love language, so much so, I often forget they may be the language of others. I tend not to give gifts, not because I’m not grateful, but because it simply slips my mind.
However, I am very good at sharing gratitude from time to time (and not just at Christmas). If someone’s done a good job on something, I’ll mention it.
I represent a local author, who live in Santa Rosa CA, her book is published by self publisher, we want an agent that can get the book to the hand of major publisher, is about a life changing book, that will turn the whole world around if the book can be taken to the next level, i will appreciate it if you can help.
Check the information on the website, the author interview, and the book review on Amazon.com is called Ignited by the Holy Spirit, by Ivy Adjivon
The faculty and staff at our school were incredibly supportive and helpful throughout my husband’s illness and the school year following his death. I chose an opportune time—finals prep. I invited a friend who loves to bake for people to help. Together, we provided breakfast and lunch for the people who not only teach our children, but love them and point them to Jesus. While the food, and the timing of it, was welcome, our school secretary said it was my heartfelt note of appreciation that meant the most.