When I read fiction for pleasure I strive to turn off the “internal editor” as I read, but lately I’ve come across a number of glaring mistakes that pull me right out of the story. Let me address five of those fiction flubs here.
Fiction Flub #1: Confusing Names. We all remember trying to keep people straight in Russian novels where the character is called by a number of names and diminutives. But Russian novels aside, I’ve recently come across novels with a plethora of characters who answer to nicknames, first names, last names and pet names. You almost need to keep a notepad next to the book to keep it all straight. Another flub is using too similar names. Having characters named McAllister, Mackenzie, and Macintosh in the same book is inviting confusion.
Fiction Flub #2: Faulty Character Description. Falling out of point of view when describing another character in the book makes me cringe. For instance, we may be reading a scene from the POV of the rugged cowboy who walks into the room and describes a women like this: “Her eyes sparkled with a delicate shade of cerulean blue and she wore her strawberry blond hair gathered into a chignon at the nape of her neck. Each time she walked, I managed to catch a glimpse of slender ankle beneath the Battenburg lace of her petticoat.”
No cowboy worth his salt would know the color cerulean, would he? Would he really recognize a chignon, calling it by name? And what are the chances that he would be able to recognize a Battenburg lace? Make sure your description does two things. It should give us a picture of the person being described but it should also tell us more about the person doing the describing.
Fiction Flub #3: Beating the Reader Over the Head. In a recent well-regarded book, the author referred to a character as plump among the other descriptions. But every time she showed up from then on, her shape was mentioned– and he rarely varied from the word plump. All right, already. We got it the first time. It became annoying.
Fiction Flub #4: Setting the Scene in Omniscient POV. I’m seeing this more and more in books. Before we settle into a viewpoint character the scene is described in almost poetic language to set the mood. Yes, we love the ferocious clouds battling in the sky and the rumble of thunder over verdant green hills but, pretty as it may be, it’s sterile. We want to hear the scene described by the viewpoint character. We’ll learn so much more about her as we read how she views the scene. A skillful writer can reveal so much by having the same scene described by different characters.
Fiction Flub #5: Not Trusting the Reader. Too often we see information being served up long before we need to know. Trust your reader. We are willing to wait to find out details as they reveal themselves naturally. It’s a treat to come upon something halfway through the book and think, “I certainly wasn’t expecting that.”
This is only the tip of the iceberg but it’s a start. What have you noticed lately? Do you have any pet peeves?
What’s Next?
Ouch! I’ve read a few where I had to keep notes as to who was who. Usually end up not finishing. Great examples. Curious if these books were edited before publication.
It’s number five for me. Need to watch for it in my own writing; enjoy getting creative but need to sprinkle ideas in gradually like a good seasoning to develop my characters. As far as pet peeves–information given in modern phrasing in historicals pulls me right out.
Need to make sure I keep these in mind. Thank you, Wendy.
….and I just discovered I’m too “needy” — next time proofread!
Love the cat picture. Those were some good flubs. I have to watch what I name my characters so that they won’t be confusingly similar. I tend to love “S” names for females and “M” names for males. I used to keep a main character list of the names I’d used in my books to make sure I didn’t write about a Sadie or Sara every time. I’ve let that lapse, but it could be I should go back and keep it up to date.
I can be pulled out of a story I’m reading by typos or something happening at a wrong time such as a character picking blackberries when blackberries wouldn’t be ripe to pick. I guess I’m being picky there. 🙂 I’m sure I’ve made some of the same kinds of errors, but then none of us are perfect. We just do our best to try to make our stories perfect.
Great points!
I’m finishing Fates and Furies, which is totally overwritten with long descriptive sentences to describe the simplest things. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been thankful for my Kindle since I had to look up definitions. A few words were made up or used in bizarre ways.
The first fifty pages tell instead of show – and then this happened and this happened and this happened.
The author head-hopped from character to character during party scenes and had mine spinning! I was finally drawn into the story after one hundred pages.
Barak Obama’s book of the year and a National Book Award finalist.
I think I have three continual pet peeves. One is sex scenes. Not that I don’t think there should be any, but for heaven’s sake, two detectives who have just received important info on a missing child are NOT going to stop to have sex before following up on that info. (And yes, that actually happened in a well-known writer’s book.)
The second is “strong” women – which too many authors confuse with “bitchy” women. The epitome of a strong woman for me is like Captain Janeway; the pseudo-strong woman is, well, watch many detective shows on TV with female leads. I want female characters I can admire, or at least empathize with; I don’t want to find myself thinking, “Geez, what is her problem?!”.
Last, characters who suddenly decide that they are going to trust perfect strangers over the people they’ve known for years. Or worse yet, turn on those well-known people based solely on what that stranger tells them.
I’ve quit reading many an otherwise good story because of one or more of the above being present. Really wish those authors had paid a little more attention to real people before going into their made-up world.
I loathe the rugged cowpoke
who quotes Proust to a steer,
and then shares a clever joke
with best bud Vladimir,
who launches, florid, a description
that never seems to cease,
as if his given holy mission
was to channel ‘War And Peace’.
And then just when you had thought
it could not get much worse,
you will find what you have got
are bushmen who don’t curse,
and are invited to drop by
the ranch, drink tea with pinkies high.