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First Pages that Shine

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Blogger: Mary Keeley

It’s that time of year again. While I’ve been filling out forms and booking flights for the writers conferences I’ll attend this year, my mind automatically trips to the new writers I’ll have the joy of meeting, the critiques I’ll be privileged to provide, and contest finalists I’ll get to judge. I really do approach it with this enthusiasm. Agents are always on the lookout for those first pages that shine like the top of the Chrysler building.

First pages-1You might be wondering what factors agents and editors look for in a writer’s first pages. Here is a quick checklist to help you evaluate whether your first pages gleam or need some polishing before your pitch meetings or entry in a contest:

  1. Does the book begin in the right place? A novel should begin in the middle of an action scene that introduces the main character’s emotional arc. How does the protagonist feel about what is happening? How does what is happening affect her, and what is her motivation? A nonfiction book should establish the main issues surrounding the topic, the outcome and perspective for which the author is going to try to influence in the rest of the book.
  2. Is the hook strong enough to raise intriguing questions for which readers will want to find out the answers? The bar has been set high because of so many proposals vying for a limited number of slots in most publishing houses. Your book needs to have a unique hook, something fresh and compelling that sets it apart from so many others.
  3. Is there too much detail? Eliminate description and information not essential to the action and development of the main character and her motivation in these first pages.
  4. Are the pages free of grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors? This is an initial indicator of your professionalism and knowledge of craft.
  5. Are the word usage and sentence flow the best they can be? Agents and editors love words. I’ve been known to re-read and savor a perfect word in its context or a sentence that leaps off the page for its impeccable construction. For me, this is a big factor of first pages that shine. If you haven’t been through this refining stage of your manuscript, you aren’t ready to pitch your work or enter a contest.

How do the first pages of your WIP fare? In which area(s) do your first pages need more work? Which of these five factors is the easiest or most challenging for you?

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  1. These are some very helpful insights – thanks!

    I do wonder about the first point, though. Some of the novels I’ve loved the best – “The Caine Mutiny”, “Round The Bend”, “Pastoral”, and “Illusions” start slowly, with a good bit of character development that allows the emotional arcs to make sense, once they and the action are introduced.

    Personally, I think that approach builds better and stronger characters; it’s like real life, in a way. While shared crisis is compelling, the premise that you ‘really get to know someone in the immediate crucible’ is something of a shibboleth.

    While it’s something at which I doubt editors look, I find that I rarely remember first pages, but I often remember last lines…and do, for the books named above. The last line is, perhaps, the legacy; the hook set forever in the reader’s heart. It’s a concept that resonates with me, especially now, in areas other than writing.

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    • There’s a metaphor for the beginning of a story that may be weirdly appropriate…or just weird. It’s welding.

      The welding process – joining two pieces of metal by melting their edges together, adding some filler material…is something like the building of the relationship between reader and character. A good weld should be preheated, to bring the joint to a good, uniform temperature before the melting starts…and then allowed to cool slowly, after the joint’s complete.

      To do otherwise CAN result in a ‘good-looking’ weld, but it’s one that will won’t truly fuse the pieces, and will be brittle in service. Welding takes time, and it takes time to get to know characters, before they can truly take your heart into the fire with them.

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    • You know, Andrew, I’ve been thinking about this lately. I’ve read several books over this last year, where the beginning is unattractive. I’m reading one right now, and last night, I thought, I didn’t like this book until Chapter 13. But it seems like the last chapters are the ones that make me love them. Like you said, those are the chapters I will always remember of that book. Sometimes I reread the beginning pages to see why my heart didn’t seem to be in it initially. And it’s strange, after reading it through, I’ll usually appreciate the beginning pages more so. I’ve also noticed that sometimes I have trouble switching to another voice. It just takes me a bit to adjust.

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      • – I’ve has the same experience…times were, I’d almost be cussing out the author because i really didn’t like what I was reading…and then when it ‘caught’, and I went back, I wondered what my problem had been.

        – Reading is so subjective, I guess…you have to be ready to hear the voice, hear the message. The heart has many doors, and they aren’t all open at once.

    • Hmmm. . .
      Would Dickens have made the cut?

      My impatient son, wading through the descriptions in his first Dickens novel: “Somebody should teach this guy how to write.”

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      • I think you nailed it, Shirlee. “Get to the point!” may be the watchword of today, but it doesn’t define better writing. It’s merely an artifact of a society that’s lost its capacity for patience, and is trying to make that a point of pride.

        To me, the requirement for instant Action is something like “buy me!” advertising; it has less to do with story than with sales.

    • Andrew, your point is well taken, but it’s important to begin in the middle of an action scene because it provides the opportunity to introduce the main character and give a glimpse of her or his inner struggle and motivation, not to give the whole of it away right then but enough to make the reader–or agent and editor for today’s conversation–connect quickly with the character and want to read further to find out what happens. It doesn’t have to be heart-pounding action. Subtlety can work if it reveals something profound, as in Paula Hawkins’ current thriller, The Girl on the Train. But I put the book down after the first few pages because I didn’t much like or care about Rachel, the main character from what the author revealed. I’ll pick it up again when I have time because I want to see what makes it a bestseller. I’m guessing the mega pre- and post-release promotion by the publisher may be a significant factor. And the hot-button topic of social tolerance.

      The emotional arc continues through the book as the main character changes and responds to the narrative arc, as you pointed out. Many readers won’t keep reading if they don’t gain a level of emotional connection with the main character in the first few pages. Agents and editors need to see that a writer can make this happen or they are not inclined to continue reviewing a manuscript.

      Reply

  2. I have a very chatty, personal voice. Especially if I’m writing YA or romance from a first person POV. So I have to go back and make sure that I don’t go on and on on that first page. I need to make sure that there is something intriguing, a question or a strange action that will hook. It really helped me see this, when I tried to write middle grade for my sons. They are all about the action. “Why don’t you have the puppy just leap up in the air and fly!” um…but puppies don’t fly, is not an acceptable answer…just in case you were wondering.

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  3. Writing articles, I always try to have my work free of error. I don’t want the editor to have to fix anything for me. What I really have to watch for in my writing is ensuring my clauses/phrases match my subject. The only time I really struggle with this is when an object is my subject. The coffee cannot open a door! 🙂 Opening the door, the coffee swayed to and fro. Ha! Those will trip me up sometimes. You really have to be intentional. Of course, many would never notice … but it aggravates me when trying to be the best I can be.

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  4. Thank you, Mary, for the perfect timing of this checklist. I was just going over my first page this morning, wondering if it was ready to send off to critique partners. I like to get to know characters, so I think I tend to put in too much get-to-know-you detail and not enough to hook readers. It seems a delicate balance that differs by author, story, and genre.

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    • Meghan, good catch. That’s so important. You’re right, it is a delicate balance, but a general rule of thumb is any detail that isn’t pertinent to the character’s response to the action should be saved to reveal to the reader later.

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  5. Mary, all good points–ones writers, pre-published or multi-published, have to remember. I especially like number one, and try to always start my novels with action.
    A book that I read early on and that still resonates with me is Noah Lukeman’s First Five Pages. I’ve heard it from many experts, and it rings true–you must hook the reader (be it agent, editor, or the person browsing in a bookstore) in the first five pages. Thanks so much for sharing.

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    • I have often wondered about the First Five Pages hypothesis; it’s something I’ve never used in my own choices. In a bookstore, I’ll select a book based on topic, first of all; the strength of the title, cover graphics and description; back cover blurb; and a brief perusal through the whole book. I won’t stop and read the first five pages.

      Online, I’ll make the selection based on topic, title/cover, description, and reviews…and I pay particular attention to negative reviews, because sometimes a thoughtful one-star can point out something I would really hate about the book , such as shoddy research. I almost never use Amazon’s ‘look inside’ feature.

      I don’t believe I have EVER bought, or have chosen to read a book based primarily on the quality of the writing. The story (be it fiction or nonfiction) has to be compelling enough to read, and I will overlook literary awkwardness to take that journey. A beautifully crafted Trip To Nowhere, however, is a waste of time.

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    • Agreed, Richard! Noah Lukeman’s First Five Pages is a must for every writer. If I have to wait (and wade) beyond the first five pages to “get into” a story, it’s an automatic “no, thanks.” I just don’t have that kind of time.

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  6. ” I’ve been known to re-read and savor a perfect word in its context or a sentence that leaps off the page.” I’m with you there, Mary. I keep a little notebook with quotations that resonated with me–sometimes because it’s a great thought, sometimes just because the words soar. I don’t want those perfect sentences to get away from me.

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  7. This article’s topic is important because it touches on probably (for me) the hardest, and easiest part of writing a novel, the beginning. One of your comments above said it best by mentioning that the first page, even the first sentence, needs to emotionally connect with the reader. Do I like the main character, can I pull for him/her if they’re in a tight situation, can I identify with their surroundings, problems, and triumphs? All of these are usually shown in the beginning paragraphs of great books making us want to read more. And that said, the opening should also be uniquely original.

    Another reason to take great strides in creating an emotional, well-written beginning is to show a writer’s competence in pulling a reader into the storyline, and to impress agent’s and editor’s because that’s what they’ll see when you submit. Personally, I recently started querying agents for my new novel and spent a lot of effort on the first chapter.

    I read an interview a while back about Nicholas Sparks, and how he re-wrote the first chapter of “The Notebook” several times before submitting to publishers. One of the first sentences said, “There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough.”

    I believe this sentence alone hooked a lot of readers to continue pressing forward, proving the significance of opening pages.

    Thanks for sharing this article!

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  8. The first six words of Lori Benton’s triple Christy award winning Burning Sky are “The woman who had been Burning Sky…”
    When I read that, I knew instantly that I was in for an experience.
    Immediately several question fired into my brain. Who was she before? Why was she called Burning Sky? And why ‘had been’? Why not ‘was’? Was she someone different as a little girl?

    By the end of the second sentence, the reader knows the woman is in big trouble. She is not walking along a path, she is trudging through the woods. Wow, what a great word! Anyone who has done any kind of hiking knows that when one is tired, one trudges. One heavy step after another.

    So, through the woods, to stay out of sight of “Red men or white men.”

    Ahhh, very interesting placement of spare but powerful descriptive words. The “or” raises the question that perhaps Burning Sky is more afraid of whites than Native Americans?

    All that meat in a grand total of 3 sentences.

    And that, folks, is how a master does it.

    I chewed through that book in a trip to Europe. A gift from my mom for my 50th. how GOOD is that book?? When the sun was setting over Santorini, and our ship was meandering across the Aegean Sea, *I* was holding Burning Sky in my hands and looking out the window. I finally growled “The bok will be here tomorrow, the sky over Item #2 On My Bucket List will not!!!

    So yes, that is how WELL a master does it.

    Annnnnnd it’s a good thing I’m confined to bed today (feel free to send flowers) so now I can comb over the first pages of my books.

    Or nap.

    Fiesta de la Compasion, para uno.

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  9. I like to start with a compelling question that the next 300 pages need to answer, preferably not all at once. Authors who have done that well include John leCarre, Tom Clancy, Chris Fabry and, though I’m not a fan, Stephen King.

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  10. What a great post, Mary–and a good refresher for me right now, as I’m three chapters into my current WIP. 🙂

    I think the hardest for me are definitely #1 and #2. I recently had to start over with this story because, while it began with action, there wasn’t that emotional connection with the character. I’m realizing how very important that is–thanks for this confirmation! I believe the opening is better now, but I’m still not sure it’s where it needs to be. Time will tell.

    Thanks again and blessings! 🙂

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    • Kiersti, I think the first two points are the toughest for many authors. THanks for bringing up the hook. We’ve been having a good conversation about the first point, but the hook is equally important, especially in this highly competitive market.

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  11. Clarification Needed.. Do the first five pages include the book’s front matter? Does the book’s introduction or preface need to shine or are we talking just aboutt the chapter content (with nonfiction books)?

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    • Norma, yes, agents and editors do have these five areas in mind when reviewing the first few pages of a nonfiction book, including introduction or preface. Anything you pitch to an agent or editor or submit to a contest needs to be a polished and publication-ready as possible.

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  12. Thanks for this list, Mary! Would the same first-page rules work for a short story too? Or is that a different ball game? Short story anthologies are quite popular in India (where I’m from). So please do post some pointers for good short stories too !

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    • Zehra, generally speaking, these five factors apply for short stories too. The third one, about too much detail, is doubly important for short stories because of the shorter word count that doesn’t allow for too much detail.

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  13. Thank you for this reminder. I’ve just started the third pass on my second novel after a six-month rest, and the first page has left me yawning. It may be time to hit the delete button on a few pages.

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  14. Far closer to that goal than when I started. One of the best pieces of advice I have received came from Janet and the Books and Such team of my need to transition from a 45 minute workshop view of the concept (limited time, attendees already demonstrated interest by their choosing your workshop over others) to a book needing to hook and maintain interest.

    At the time, it had only been a 45 minute workshop, but this advice has stuck with me through workshops, weekend retreats, and writing. The concept may stay the same, but what is the Purpose of the current writing/presentation and the Interest and current Buy-in of the likely audience?

    Reply