Blogger: Rachelle Gardner
I do a lot of reading around the web and I devour business-related books and blogs. One of the themes that is arising again and again lately, in all the business literature, is resilience. More than ever, employees, entrepreneurs, and entire companies depend for their survival on resilience — the ability to bounce back from failure, to recover from setbacks or disappointments.
Writers are no exception. Resilience is something we all need to develop. This isn’t just one more thing we’re telling writers they have to do or have to be. It’s not personal. Resilience is an ability that everyone, everywhere — at least anyone trying to make a living — needs to develop if they want to pursue success.
In today’s business environment, things change rapidly. Bombshells are everywhere. Publishing is simply part of the larger picture of a volatile environment. Rather than wring our hands when publishers’ imprints shut down, or when our books don’t become bestsellers, or our queries don’t garner the responses we hoped, we have to bounce back. We must refuse to be deterred by setbacks.
Maybe it’s a cliché. Maybe you already knew this. But I think it’s worth acknowledging that writers are not the only ones whose path is difficult and fraught with change, rejection, and disappointment. We are a part of a wider landscape. Perhaps that can make it easier to accept.
But how do we develop resilience? Well-known Harvard Business School professor Rosabeth Moss Kanter gives us an insightful answer: “Complacency, arrogance, and greed crowd out resilience. Humility and a noble purpose fuel it.”
I’ve seen examples of this so many times. The writers who cannot bounce back from disappointment are usually the ones who feel entitled, or who are greedy for success, or who are too tired to give it another go. Writers who believe in their ultimate purpose for writing — who have goals more lofty than money or fame or bestselling status — are the ones who find the strength to dust themselves off and keep going.
Kanter also writes: “Resilience draws from strength of character, from a core set of values that motivate efforts to overcome the setback and resume walking the path to success.”
So the way you develop that skill of resilience is to go back to your values and your purpose, again and again. Do not let yourself get caught up in setbacks. Your motivation to continue will, I think, be proportional to the strength of your commitment to your ideals.
I believe you can intentionally grow your own resilience. Practice it whenever something disappoints you. Remind yourself of your larger purpose. Stay humble. When you feel entitled or like you “deserve” success, be angry for a few minutes, then re-focus on your goal. Ask yourself if, in light of this latest development, you need to change anything.
If we don’t develop resilience, I think we’ll develop bitterness. And I don’t think we’ll find the success we’re looking for. (Agents are no exception.)
Setbacks, surprises, and difficulties are around every corner. Resilience isn’t the only skill writers need, and it may not even be the most important skill — but without it, most of us will not reach our goals.
How is your level of resilience? What experiences have helped you develop it? In what situations have you needed it lately?
Tweetables
Setbacks, surprises & difficulties are around every corner. Do you have resilience? Click to Tweet.
To develop resilience, go back to your values and your purpose, again and again. Click to Tweet.
If we don’t development resilience, we may develop bitterness instead, says @RachelleGardner. Click to Tweet.
Quotes are from Rosabeth Moss Kanter’s article in Harvard Business Review blogs: Surprises Are the New Normal; Resilience is the New Skill.
Anne Love
When I graduated with my masters and started my practice, it didn’t pan out like I had been dreaming and praying. I was certain of my call, my work, and my purpose, but the place I started in wasn’t the place I wanted to stay. Disillusionment was incredibly strong. The urge to pinch myself and ask if I’d just spent three years of my life working, accumulating huge debt, for a situation that wasn’t functional, was overwhelming. I waited three long years in that situation, seeking God on the 30 min commute. Waiting. Finally, the right opportunity arose. I interviewed and landed the job I have now. On the first day, I walked in, and my nurse’s first words to me were–we’ve been praying for you. I nearly melted into tears. Now I’ve been at this job for over six years, and I can see God’s intentional timing and purpose. And as I counsel other new graduates, I remind them that the place they begin, may not be the place they land, and to call me if they find themselves disillusioned and discouraged.
Meghan Carver
Love your success story, Anne. Resilience is definitely needed for the new graduate. My husband is a community college professor, and so many of his students expect to graduate and go on to their dream jobs — high tech positions with big money. He does his best to warn them that experience is also a necessary part of success and encourages them to keep their expectations reasonable.
Anne Love
Right, we all have to start somewhere.
Roxanne Sherwood Gray
Anne, I love these two great thoughts: “I can see God’s intentional timing and purpose” and “the place they begin, may not be the place they land.”
Cheryl Malandrinos
Beautiful thoughts on this topic, Anne.
Sherry Stocking Kline
Thank you, Anne for sharing your experience. Very inspiring!
Rachelle Gardner (@RachelleGardner)
A wonderful story of resilience – thank you!
Susan Finlay
I agree with you, Rachelle. When I started writing 9 1/2 years ago, I had no idea how to write a novel. I made the mistakes of submitting queries way too soon, etc. It was painful, but necessary. No matter how many rejections I got, I bounced back and kept practicing and learning. I was determined to master the skills. In September, 2013, my first book will be published. In May, 2014, my second book will be published. It doesn’t end there–I recently finished two more books and have more in progress. It pays to be resilient.
Peter DeHaan
How exciting (and encouraging). Susan, I wish you and your books, the best!
Susan Finlay
Thanks, Peter.
Wendy Jones
Really great advice. I am only at the start of my journey but I am determined to succeed regardless of how many knock backs I get. I will keep this advice a the forefront of my mind and remember it when times are tough
Sue Harrison
What a great post, Rachelle. I’d never thought of practicing resilience. (Evidently, I never learned to spell the word either. I had to try that one three times!) I love that idea.
Thank you also for reading all those business blogs and books. That’s a huge plus for all your clients and business partners and readers.
Wendy Paine Miller
You know I love this post! I’m a huge fan of dusting off & moving forward. This topic is why I loved the book Unbroken. I appreciate the lessons of resilience in the Bible too.
Great thoughts here today!
Norma Horton
I remind myself resilience in writing is faith in action. Great post. NLBH
Jeanne T
I love this! Resilience is faith in action. So beautifully said!
Norma Horton
I may have another future here…
: )
(Thanks.)
Dakota Rae Smits
Great reminder!
When I was a competitive athlete resiliency was key. If I performed one skill poorly (or scored low on it) I had to be able to bounce back quickly. I wish I could say I was better at it back then, but it’s definitely helped shape my ability to do it now.
Beth K. Vogt
“If we don’t develop resilience, I think we’ll develop bitterness. ”
And that sums it up well, Rachelle.
Anne Love
Yes, I loved that too Beth.
Cheryl Malandrinos
I agree.
Crystal Walton
I’ve been thinking a lot about this very thing lately. There are moments when I want to toe the line of giving up–when doubts sneak into the crevices and chip away at the arsenal every writer needs: Purpose. Courage. Tenacity. Hope. But I’ve learned we can’t stifle or run from our calling. As Charles Martin describes it, it’s like peter pan’s shadow, never leaving. It’s rooted in who we are, preventing us from settling for any lesser thing. That inextinguishable flame is the locomotive of my perseverance and resilience along a journey that will test every ounce I have.
Jeanne T
What a great post! And I’m with Beth, your statement about resilience and bitterness is spot on.
In answer to your question, I think my level of resilience is pretty strong. Years ago, after graduating from college, I looked and looked for a teaching position. I interviewed, networked, worked other jobs, cried, got angry, and kept searching. At the right time, I received an offer from a school district a couple hours away, and I loved teaching there. Walking through other life situations has also helped to grow resilience.
I think part of strengthening resilience happens when we have a right mindset. Determination and a reason to keep moving forward that is stronger than the discouragement of the moment.
As a writer, I’m growing in resilience as I finish books, revise and edit and query. I haven’t queried, yet, but I plan to when I’m ready. This will give me a new opportunity to grow in resilience, I think. 🙂 Loved this post today.
Lindsay Harrel
I think a huge part of resilience, for me, is not thinking too far into the future. If I’m going through something tough, and I can focus on the here and now — the “just for a little while” — I can handle it a lot better than if I think about something enduring for longer than that.
And you have to have hope. Hope is the key to resiliency. And if we have hope in something greater than ourselves, then we know that God can surprise us at any turn. You never know when He’s going to do something miraculous or change our situation.
Andrew Budek-Schmeisser
That’s an excellent point. Look too far ahead, and the trail can seem too long, too steep, and to fraught with danger.
There is training for this – one example is Hell Week at BUD/S, the navy program that turns out SEALs.
It’s an evolution that piles on huge amounts of work, disorienting situations, discomfort, and little sleep. It breaks down the normal way in which we process tasks, and forces the mind onto parallel tracks – one that keeps the overall aim in mind, and another that keeps one’s effort concentrated on the task at hand.
And that is the key to making it through – concentrating on what one is doing now, without borrowing the trouble that will come in the next half hour. Those who can are those who eventually wear the Trident.
You don’t have to go through BUD/S to learn this. It’s merely mental discipline. Just be aware of what you’re thinking, from moment to moment. When you look too far ahead – don’t indulge. Lock it out.
lisa
I love this post very much. The comments too, are such encouragement. I’ll have to come back this afternoon and read more!
This is writing for me. My first year was heartbreak after heartbreak. Something in me refused to give up. I think my resiliency grew stronger with each disappointment. I felt God doing something inside of me. I kept with it, now I see my work encouraging others. I love the conversations I get to have with readers. I also love how it has the potential to mobilize to make a difference.
I would encourage anyone to mourn your losses, but stand back up in faith.
Tricia Robertson
This was what I needed to read today! I told my husband yesterday that years of writing for my own pleasure have been a gift. The gift of obscurity allows me to make mistakes, try new things, and grow as a writer. Now I have started a blog and have asked others to read my novels to help me improve. This morning I wanted to rubber stamp my forehead “not ready for prime time” because I had become so anxious about sharing something I’d written. I have so much more respect for the resiliency required of full-time writers now! You’ve encouraged me to keep working and moving forward, approaching setbacks with humility, not bitterness. Maybe in place of the rubber stamp, I’ll print out your blog as a reminder instead.
Jennifer Major
I adapted to a polite (I am Canadian) yet rebellious mindset of “Oh? Is that so?” a while back. I’d been told, by a Christian, that I’d never amount to anything without a university degree.
Uh huh.
Dear Bruce(his real name), “Well then, excuse me while I carry on and ignore your ignorant remark.
It is said revenge is a dish best served cold. So I’ll put my fairly thick list of accomplishments on ice before I hurl them at you. And when I’m published, I’m soaking a large print edition in water, freezing it and tossing it your way. Did I mention my good aim? No? Wear a helmet, pal.”
So yeah, maybe this is not the best way to describe that I am resilient, that I fought back and used my God given talents to smite down his stupid words, to bury them outside my heart, away from any chance of re-rooting.
God does not give us a spirit of fear, nor does He call on us to publicly degrade fellow believers for not fitting into a mold cast by sinners.
The waiting game is tough, but I am not the sum of my proposal, query or what I have written.
I am someone with a life outside of my work. Most of us are.
We NEED to make sure life balances out and weigh how much emotional currency we spend on one aspect of who we are, otherwise, work becomes an idol and acceptance from peers and publishers outweighs our need to be servants first.
God made us creative, so go ahead and imagine oneself as Tigger, bouncing all over, finding joy everywhere.
Jenny Leo
Jennifer, I want to give a shout-out to Canada today. I’m visiting in Killarney, Manitoba, and it could not be more beautiful.
Jennifer Major
Hey, Jenny!! I’ve driven very close to Killarney! Brandon to Winnipeg, in fact! Enjoy your visit, eh?
Cyndi Perkins
I find it easier to bounce back if I acknowledge my disappointment, agitation, anger, etc. rather than trying to swallow those feelings. I do limit private whining or rants to one day. Then it’s time to move on. When it comes to requested revisions I’ve found more success by giving myself a few days to absorb the suggestions rather than firing off a rapid response. I give myself time to lick my wounds, reconnect with my humble self and look for the grain of truth in the rewrite request. What can I learn from the criticism? In the quest for the next big thing it’s also important to stop and give thanks that I’m regularly published in both print and electronic media. I’ve also improved when it comes to dealing with unprofessional behavior: publishers who fail to pay promptly if at all, magazines that take years to run an article, unacknowledged submissions, publications that fold while sitting on stories that could have been sold elsewhere and other situations beyond my control that used to send me over the edge. The serenity prayer comes in handy even if you still enjoy a cocktail every now and then. The combination of the two is very calming 🙂
Jenny Leo
Giving my resilience a good polishing today.
Jan Cline
I think also, Rachelle, that writers need to believe that they are capable of learning and growing. I meet writers all the time that have lost their confidence and so also have lost their resilience. If I didn’t continually tell myself “you CAN learn this craft” I would be sinking lower and lower into the sea of unmet expectations. It’s knowing I can keep growing that helps me bounce back from rejections.
Gabrielle Meyer
I would have to say being a mother has developed my sense of resiliency like nothing else. Three years ago our twin boys were born (we already had two little girls). It was either learn to be resilient, or sink in an ocean of diapers, breast feeding and sleepless nights. I think what amazed me the most was discovering how strong I really am. It isn’t until you face disappointments and trials that you discover your true grit (or maybe lack of it). I didn’t know at the time, but God was preparing my mind and heart for this writing journey.
Anne Love
Love your story Gabrielle. How often do we hear or feel “I could never do that”? When in reality, if faced to difficulties, we likely could find a way to become resilient, though not without struggle.
Roxanne Sherwood Gray
Gabrielle, I’d forgotten we had in common giving birth to our own preschools. 😉 In a three-year span, I had two boys and twin girls.
Having so many young children taught me to be flexible–and resilient. I turn lemons into lemonade and refuse to be bitter because life hasn’t turned out as I’d expected. Guess that’s another way God’s preparing me along this journey to publication.
Lori
I swear that resilience is my middle name. I failed (painfully) so many times and have been told so many times that I would be a failure that I have learn to perservere despite what anyone may have said. The list is long but I have learned to be successful.
When I was laid off right after my 48th birthday, I was told that it would be hard to get an interview let alone a job when you are so close to 50. In six weeks time, I had numerous interviews (back to back along with phone interviews) with numerous companies, two offers, and I accepted a dream job of writing documentation for NASA projects full time. That was almost six years ago. By the way I did not major in engineering or computer science in college but in communications and I only have a bachelors degree.
Rachelle Gardner (@RachelleGardner)
Wonderful, Lori, thanks for your story!
Andrew Budek-Schmeisser
Part of resilience doesn’t come from strength of character, or a sense of mission. It comes from being too tired to give up.
The inspiring music goes quiet, the moto banners curl and fade on the walls, and you go back to the Sisyphean task you’ve set yourself…just because it’s what you do.
The thing is, you don’t quit and ‘die’. You have to do something else, and one can reach a point where that ‘something else’ takes more effort than not giving up.
There were probably a lot of careers and businesses that became successful this way.
Mine included. When I was working on a PhD in engineering, my grades set a new record – for ‘low’. They tried to throw me out of the program, but I couldn’t figure out what else to do at the time, so I just refused to leave. Showed up even though I was unsponsored, unadvised, and definitely unwanted. Ended up with a doctorate, and was project manager for the seismic testing of the new San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge.
Maybe that’s the key to resilience. Just keep showing up.
Jennifer Major
You are one of those rare people for whom the word “quit” simply does not apply.
*Unless* we’re talking about welding, and even then, I’m guessing you’ve got a few fingers left, right?
Andrew Budek-Schmeisser
Well, yes, a finger or two.
Yesterday I did try the old ‘welding slag in the ear’ from an overhead weld.
It did NOT make me want to write a medieval romance in which the hero gets a similar treatment with lead.
Jennifer Major
Ohhhh, come on, Andrew, it did too!! You could even make your own chain mail. Male.
Armor.
Heidi Kortman
“If we don’t develop resilience, we end up with bitterness.” This is definitely true, and the one remedy I’ve learned for bitterness is deliberate thanksgiving. If you find it hard to be thankful for the recent event that hit you, give thanks for mundane small things instead, until those lift you out of the pothole you got bumped into.
Cheryl Malandrinos
By nature of how my life burbled along and assisted by some poor decisions, I’ve been forced to be resilient; if not, life would have swallowed me whole, chewed me up, and spit me back out. I’m glad faith has carried me through the dark times and overjoyed that the life I have now is a far cry from what it used to be.
I remain a work in progress, hopefully always open to God’s hand in my life.
Peter DeHaan
Cheryl, may we all be a WIP!
Karla Akins
As a pastor’s wife I’ve had to develop resilience. It’s all about how you react to things that matter. And I believe indeed that our higher calling makes us even stronger and more determined to not let the devil win. If he wants to dance, I’m not going to play his song.
~Brenda
This is the best advice I’ve ever heard! Thank you for sharing!
Kayleen
This has been a challenge this year for me. Thanks for this reminder. I know many industries feel this frustration of not getting ahead. I try to remember what Jesus said about being faithful in the little things.
Michael Thompson
Rachelle, I couldn’t have said it better. I would add one thought: As Christians, we should not only expect disappointments, trials, and tribulations, but we should “Count it all joy when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.” James 1: 2, 3.
Jean Huffman
God teaches us lots of lessons through hard knocks. Learning to write well with the goal of publication is certainly not for the fainthearted!
But we know God NEVER wastes any experience; it is for our ultimate good and God’s glory that He chooses to do it this way. So yes, we must “dust ourselves off” each time and view it as another chance to learn and better our writing skills.
Sarah Grimm
I needed this message today. Right at this moment actually. 🙂
Ursula Devaney
Love this I believe without the ability to be resilient we loose out on the good things in Life. Keep resilient
Christina Berry
I’ve found that I’m very resilient when it comes to my writing/editing/publishing profession, but extremely fragile when rejection comes in the personal realm, especially when the foundation is built on hurtful lies. So, though you wrote this for the business side, it helps me personally this week.
This line, “If we don’t develop resilience, I think we’ll develop bitterness,” speaks as a warning to my heart.
And Jennifer’s words (“to smite down his stupid words, to bury them outside my heart, away from any chance of re-rooting”) remind me to keep weeding the root of bitterness out.
Thanks, ladies!
Christy Mobley
Somewhere between mediocrity and excellence we find perseverance (resilience). Perseverance produces character. So shouldn’t we want to build character even if it takes failure to do so? After all isn’t failure part of the equation for success? I’ve never seen a toddler walk without a few skinned up knees.
Great post.
Nancy Moser
After 17 years in the publishing business I’ve had to be resilient. In fact, I’m currently dealing with a difficult career surprise that’s testing me. Again. What’s getting me through is knowing God is not surprised by my situation. He DOES have a plan–even in this. What I’m working on now is being content in this hard time–which is part of His plan–and trusting Him to bring me through to something better. Because that’s the key. In spite of many ups and downs over 17 years, He’s never failed me once. I hold onto His impressive track record. :o)
Peter DeHaan
I consider myself to be patient, which I think is one step removed from resilience. Now I’m working to add resilience, too.
Thanks for the great insight.
Ty Strange
My 40 years of running and cycling competitively instilled in me the notion of resilience. It’s closely tied to perseverance. You keep going after a less than desirable day, or a changing landscape because you love what you are doing. It’s important to separate the results from the effort, learn how you can improve, and move forward. Or, as my old coach use to say, “If it were easy, everybody would do it.”
Linda Nelson
My resilience comes from being the mother of an addict. This happens to be the main reason why I write. My focal point has been to educate teens about the pitfalls associated with drug usage.
I think one needs to also become humble and let go of embarrassment. It is okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from them. When you learn you can go on to your next learning experience.
Joshua Shaw
I can personally relate to this post. My dad has been a business owner and entrepreneur all my life. No matter how many failed attempts or successes he had, he was always resilient. He never wanted to stop learning or cease being the best at what he did.
Because of his hard work and ability to bounce back from failure, he now owns a successful restaurant corporation, and I am very proud of him. Although he is not a writer, his story encourages me every day and pushes me to keep fighting no matter what the outcome may be.
Thanks for the great post, Rachelle.
J. D. Bushroe
I thought my MS was ready for literary agents to see, but because of feedback from a new critique partner I’ve gone back to the cycle of editing. In 2 weeks I’ve only finished 2 chapters–but then I think, I’ve finished 2 chapters! That’s 2 chapters less that I need to deal with. I have to remind myself that my goal of being published isn’t thwarted, just delayed!
Joy Avery Melville
Thanks for that post!
The timing couldn’t be more perfect!
God always seems to connect the dots for me – leading me from point to point just when I most need those specific dots – this was no exception.
Appreciate your efforts, Rachelle!
Linda Jewell
Thank you for the encouraging post Rachelle. I’ve been writing 21 years. Every now and then I think about giving up, but I know God called me to write and I know that my reading audience needs my encouragement.
Teresa Lockhart
Wow. I needed to read this particular blogged. I have slammed head first into one obstacle into another: death, job changes, child leaving for college, church changes. I have been on pause for two years. I don’t feel entitled regarding publication. I am deeply, deeply humbled (and yes, I inserted those adverbs with my face to the wind). I do remember my purpose for writing. I have to pull myself up. No one else is going to do it for me. Even if I don’t get published, I have a story to tell. I can’t let it die inside of me.