Blogger: Rachel Kent
Some of you may remember that I wrote on this topic long ago, but I have recently come across quite a few ruts in manuscripts I’ve been reading and I thought it might be appropriate timing to refresh this topic.
When I originally wrote this post, I had been reading a non-work-related novel where the author constantly mentioned children. I was slowly being driven crazy by the continuous mention of CHILDREN! I love kids, even more now than I did then, but this author allowed the main character to talk about her children nonstop. The plot was significantly hindered by the amount of time I had to spend reading about kids. This was not a parenting book! The author had unintentionally created a rut.
Another recent manuscript had all of the characters growling at each other. They’d get mad and growl. Visions of bears in a den came to mind when I’d read about them growling over and over. It was a historical romance, so the growling didn’t help to set the romantic tone. The growling became a rut.
Using a word over and over again is a very common rut. Another author I’ve enjoy refers to young people as “youths” in nearly every book she’s written. I love her books, but I laugh when I see the word “youths.” Another author refers to character complexions as “sugar and spice.” I’m not even sure what that means in reference to a complexion.
As I was discussing the first book with my colleagues here at Books & Such, Michelle brought up another example of a rut. She’d read a book recently where the main character cooked chicken for dinner every night. This marked the passing of time, but did the reader really need to read about dinner prep more than once? Or was it even necessary to include dinner at all? And why chicken?
Janet read a book where eyes were the main focus. Emotions were described using eyes and an entire section of the novel listed in detail what each character’s eyes looked like at that moment. This might be a cool idea, but if it becomes the only descriptor for all the characters, it’s a writing rut.
In all of these examples, our attention was pulled away from the main points and plots of the books by an overused writing device.
Writing ruts can occur in nonfiction as well as fiction. An engaging metaphor can be used as the foundation of the manuscript, but if the chapter titles, subheads, and illustrations all tie into that metaphor, the word picture becomes overused and pulled beyond its ability to stretch. The reader grows bored with the idea.
What writing ruts have you noticed in books you’ve read? No need to mention book or author, just describe the distracting element.
Do you tend to have a typical rut or type of rut that you fall into in your writing?
What an interesting post – I will print it out and keep it at my writing desk.
frequently broke his own rule of not going into too much detail about the technology of the future. The results don’t really take away from the quality of the stories, but they do introduce an element of anachronism – a future we’ve already outstripped.
Asan example, in a book I’m currently reading (set in the mid 21st century) he describes a computer search of journal abstracts…which the searcher had to program himself. And it took about ten minutes to cover 21,000 search items.
When the book was written – mid 80s, published in paperback 1987 – the Apple 2E was state-of-the-art in home computers, and the projection was ‘reasonable’. But as it happened, the pace of microprocessor development was soon to become exponential.
He had previously worked under the Mary Poppins principle – “I never explain anything”. Certainly a better paradigm for writing SF.
Another rut he fell into was the attempt to predict future slang. Videos became “viddies”.
If that doesn’t make you cringe, nothing will.
A rut into which I fell when I started writing was the use of adverbs to describe or amplify state of mind of a character who was speaking –
“You cad!” she exclaimed angrily.
“Whatever,” he replied tiredly.
It seems to me that using adverbs this was was more acceptable through about the 80s; I know that many of the novelists I read in my formative years wrote this way.
But they’re generally not needed if the dialogue and context are well-crafted. The little exchange above (even clipped from context, as it is) would lose little if “angrily” were omitted.
Disposing of “tiredly” is more problematic, as the response of “whatever” can imply defiance as well as resignation, and one does have to be clear.
Aaaarrrgggh!
For some reason my computer will occasionally strip away lines in a comment, and this happened here.
The second paragraph should read:
In his later books, a very good SF writer frequently broke his own rule of not going into too much detail about the technology of the future. The results don’t really take away from the quality of the stories, but they do introduce an element of anachronism – a future we’ve already outstripped.
Also – you may notice that the third paragraph begins with the word Asan, which I have invented and of which I am inordinately proud. I am going to start a social media campaign to have it included in the next Webster’s, under the premise that space bars see far too much use as it is.
Laughing at this final line.
Spacebarsareoverrated.
Andrew … those adverbs … I’ve been reading much middle grade/YA … those are still used! These are current books. Someone received the wrong memo. 🙂
I guess the thinking would be … well, the author is so-and-so … well-known … they can get by with it. 🙂
I was looking at it … they probably use two or three to a page. Maybe that isn’t too much. But they don’t bother me … they seem to work.
I’m like you … keep the ones needed and toss the rest.
I think using adverbs in that way is more acceptable in children’s books. My daughter’s books are full of them!
And I love the word Asan, too. My computer auto-corrected it 3 times before I could finally type it the way I wanted to!
I am laughing so hard. Mostly at myself. I’ve been reading my MS to my husband … poor guy. And in the first three or so chapters, I used the phrase “turn on a dime” twice. He pointed it out. So, I’m on the last chapter, reading to him. I bet I used that phrase at least six times throughout the book. Every time I got to it, I either started laughing, or skipped it so he wouldn’t know I had written it yet AGAIN! 🙂 Needless to say, they were chopped! Well, I may have left one for a keepsake! 🙂
In my nonfiction, a family member pointed out to me that I used the word “precious” too much … those were gladly chopped! I have to say it … “my precious”!! 🙂
In a book I’m reading now, “curse words” are written in. Maybe I’m odd, but I don’t like ugly words in a book. Intentional use of ugly words always bothers me a bit. I’ve always tried to avoid them to be a good influence on my girls. Input = output. 🙂
I’m in a rut of using smiley faces!
HAHA! That was EXACYLY what I was going to say! That, and I did notice a ‘precious’ here and there.
Are you serious?! Hilarious! And I’m doing a “precious” search! And it’s really a sweet word … just don’t overuse it. And I’m only saying that because I have a published article coming out and “precious” is in the title! LOL! How funny is that?! I will not use a smiley face!
Precious?
Uh, like, dude, LOTR?
🙂
Andrew, yeah … Gollum ruined that sweet word forever!
I’ve gotten to the point where I feel like if I don’t add a smiley face, it looks too serious, mean, or just plain wrong 🙂
I need help.
This cracks me up, Shelli. Glad you can laugh at yourself. Plus it helps you remember to avoid the rut next time around.
I have the smiley face rut, too. 🙂
And a husband that puts up with the reading out loud is an amazing guy! And he gives feedback! You are a lucky woman. 🙂
Oh Rachel,
You have been a good influence on me today. I found this really amazing bit of research…maybe seven or more years ago and wrote an entire scene so I could include it in my manuscript. Apparently it was a terrible ill omen if a dog “sprinkled you with urine” in the ancient near East. And so there is this whole process that you have to do to get rid of this dog pee curse. You make a clay dog and cover it with hair and speak to Shamash (a Babylonian god) and throw stuff at the river and drink beer and whatnot, all to rid yourself of this curse. I love that scene…because the info is so interesting. But deep in my heart, even as I wrote it, I suspected that it was “a little darling” as one writing book described. Comparable to the 3 pages describing how to field dress a beaver that the writing book author came across in someone’s ms. But I have kept it in through six years of revisions…I read it again yesterday. I have made significant changes to my plot. And my “Dog pee curse” scene is messing up my plot. What to do? What to do? I left the scene in there yesterday to think about if I should let it go or not. And this morning I read your post and knew…the time had come. Ah, the agony. The scene where the dog “sprinkles her with urine” must go.
If the darling scene with Shamash is cut
and trimmed away, angered, he’ll lose his due
adoration, and use earthier idiom, but
do you want to swap pee for Babylonian poo?
Oooh, I hadn’t thought of that. Now I’m really in danger!
This made me laugh! I think you are making the right choice. Very interesting information, but I think you are better off without the scene. 😉
Yeah, I think you’re probably right. But the pee curse was just so very interesting. I had a hard time parting ways with it. But I did cut the scene yesterday (over 800 words) and now my plotting issues are fixed.
I think if my characters “gaze” one more time through “stormy eyes” and “level a glare” on the villain, my entire book might go up in flames. That and the fact I tend to restate and restate the main reason my heroine has an internal struggle. JUST in case you missed it when I mention it time #34. Such a true post, Rachel!! I’ve found too that having one of my crit partners read it with fresh eyes helps find those redundancies and ruts. 🙂
Hilarious!
I do find that romance novels focus on the raking gaze, and burning eyes a bit too much.
Keeping the gaze level is very important. 🙂
Perhaps we should consider the way characters are described…men are so often ruggedly handsome, and women are winsome and lovely.
I would be gratified to see a story concerning the happy relationship of a thin lady, with mouse-coloured hair and thick glasses having been courted by a short, dumpy chap with a weak chin and pale, watery eyes.
Make them heroic, for after all, reaching for love (both temporal and transcendent) does take the most courage that we are likely to use in our lives.
By the bye, I think a sugar-and-spice complexion is another way of describing an English Rose, though perhaps with a bit more suntan.
Or better yet, the thin mousey-haired lady courted by the ruggedly handsome hero–and the dumpy guy winning over the winsome beauty (oh wait, Shrek already did).
But you make a good point, Surpreet. Maybe God’s calling us to step out of our cultural ruts as well as our individual ones.
Thanks for your help with the sugar and spice complexion! A tan, English Rose. That’s good!
And I do agree that heroes and heroines tend to all look the same. I agree that we could mix it up a bit and have more realistic characters. If the writing is good, we should all still enjoy the books.
It would be so refreshing and realistic to read about people such as these. Please, somebody write a novel with characters who don’t look like models.
Every manuscript of mine has a rut!! I find a new pet word/phrase with each one. We need a support group–repetitious/rut writers!! Ha! Have a wonderful weekend!
repetitious/rut writers…say that fast, 3 times!!
I think just about every writer would be in that group!
Love your post, Rachel! A word in due season, for sure. Oops, there I go again. 🙂 Definitely keeping this rut-reminder in a handy place. 🙂
Thanks! Have a great weekend!
What a great topic, Rachel! You all are making me laugh myself silly! Support group … Jill … it’s so nice to know it’s not just me! 🙂
Ohhhh, boy, I hate ruts, and repetitions.
Ohhhh, boy, I hate ruts, and repetitions.
😉
It was pointed out to me that my characters say “I’m sorry” QUITE frequently.
Now, what polite phrase are we Canadians famous for??
HUH??
Oops, sorry, didn’t mean to raise me voice. That’s rude. Sorry.
Hee hee! I use “I’m sorry” much too much, too!
For what polite phrase are Canadians famous, Mrs. Major? While most Canadians I have met have been polite, there did not seem to be a single phrase they used in common.
We say “I’m sorry” all the time. If we bump into a tree, we say that!
Raise me voice?
And wouldn’t that be the Irish in you, and shouldn’t you never be sorry for that, because aren’t the irish the most interesting race on the planet?
Maaaybe. But apparently, I’m WAY more Scots than Irish, my mom filled that wee gap in. I’m technically Scots-Metis, with some Iris on the side.
Thank you Rachel! The things you’ve mentioned also get under my skin. I read one book where, halfway through, I realized that on just about every page, the characters ate, talked about food, talked about pies, or made coffee. For the remainder of the book, I watched for food/pie/coffee references. There was only ONE scene that did not contain references to these things. Lol…Drove me crazy.
That is funny!!
Would have been nice if after so many scenes in which the people talked about the food, the author had switched POV and had the food discussing the diners.
Obviously a bit silly, but it begs a serious question – can a rut be established and developed to set up the reader for a punch line?
I like this idea.
LOL! 🙂
It probably reflected on when the writer had time to write. She’d finish dinner and steal away for an hour or two with her cup of coffee to write the next scene and real life might have bled onto the page. 🙂
I think that might be what happened to the writer who was always writing about children, too. Her kids were probably distracting her the entire time she was writing.
I think you’re probably right! 🙂
I especially favor the word especially. 🙂 And smiley faces. 🙂
Love it, Meghan! I’m so thankful for the “find” on Microsoft Word. Doing my search on “to” … it’s amazing how many times I have three words, where it only required one. I’m so paranoid now. Smiley face!
I’m guilty of the smiley faces!
As you can tell by the response, this is an excellent topic, Rachel. Thank you!
Do I have any writing ruts? Absolutely. Every time I revise a piece, I know I have to look for how many times I’ve unnecessarily used the words “that” and “however.” Also, my characters tend to do a great deal of snapping. I don’t worry about it in the rough draft. I let them snap, then go back in the rewrite and find another way to express the retort (some times I joyfully discover I can eliminate the dialogue tag altogether!) Thank goodness for my writing critique group. I’m aware of many of my ruts, but they make me aware of the others (and the new ones I’ve developed to try to repair the old ruts). Sometimes (often) there don’t see to be enough words in the English language to prevent ruts without doing linguistic gymnastics. 🙂
linguistic gymnastics! LOVE IT! They should offer classes in that.
Thanks, Rachel! I agree; there should be classes in it. 😉
Cute, Christine! When replacing “precious” with “valuable” … I realized I’m creating a valuable rut!
Thank you, Shellie. 🙂 After a while, it just gets hard to find a synonym.
You were right earlier about Gollum and LOTR. “Precious” has forever taken on an entirely different meaning. I can’t read the word now without hearing Gollum’s voice. Creepy!
Editing the rough draft is a humbling experience. Just HOW many times did I use that phrase, that word, that idea? Really? Shouldn’t she have a hole in her lip for all the times she’s bitten it? Does she need some meds for that heart condition (seizing, convulsing, squeezing, aching, swelling – all in the same CHAPTER!!!)
And off I go to edit.
🙂
Your catalogue of heart conditions is amusing, Mrs. Sundin.
But might not the hole in her lip have come from a combination of biting it, and the overuse of chewing tobacco?
One of the images I have seen overused in recent years has been that describing a character “putting his head through the door”.
It reminds me entirely too vividly of the genuine shrunken head my smaller brother brought home from a trip to Borneo, and which was the centerpiece of many a practical joke. (It once became part of the centerpiece on my parents’ dinner table for a party.)
But I suppose that the “obnoxious smaller brother” is something of a rut as well? Life imitating art, or a universal truth?
Too funny! “Putting her head through the door” made me envision a really violent head butt against a closed door 🙂 Yes, I have a teen son.
My rut is, as someone mentioned above, overexplaining things. Or explaining them over and over. It’s as if I don’t believe the reader will catch on the first time, so I explain it again. Because if I explain it again, they’ll be sure to catch it. So what I do is explain things over again, a number of times. And frequently in the same words. I love to explain things over and over, but if I don’t stop, nobody will read my books. So my rut of explaining things over and over has really got to end. 🙂
🙂 Are you sure you over-explain things? Tell me again.
I think I’m getting dizzy from all that explaining! 🙂
We all need a word census to help us, and that’s what I’m using right now as I do a (what I hope is) final comb through.
How could I have used variations on point 178 times in 102K words?
That’s been remedied now!
The Flip Dictionary is an invaluable tool!
Over the top prose of a violet hue would be my rut.
Why would I get to the point quickly when I can wax poetic until the reader rolls their eyes?
When used in creative moderation, I believe this rut can be turned into an asset. My tendency toward embellished descriptions is part of my ‘voice’, but when I use it sparingly, it has more oomph.
At first glance I thought this said, “Watch Out for Writing Nuts.” I quickly scanned it to make sure you didn’t tell any stories about me, but now I see what the intent is. Whew! But honestly, if you’re looking for a topic on your next blog post, the Writing Nuts theme has a lot of potential.
I read it the same way at first glance. Of course, some people think all writers are a bit nuts. We spend so much time, energy, and money on something with such a slow and slight financial return. (I use “of course” a lot!)
It does have potential! And now that you’ve admitted publicly to being one I can use you as the main focus of the post! Hehehe! I’m kidding. There are some writing nuts out there, but you are not one of them, Regina. You may have some fun, nutty moments in your writing, but that doesn’t make you a nut.
There’s one particular romance author I’m totally hooked on. I’m up to #19 in her main series, and she definitely has ruts she gets into with certain descriptions. There’s a LOT of lip biting, to the point where sometimes I wonder if the heroine is going to have a bottom lip left when the book is over.
But you know what? I don’t really care. I gloss over it most of the time because I’m so invested in the world, the characters, and the story.
There’s a fantasy author I read who has what some would consider ruts. I see it as part of her voice, and the construction choices she made fit the way the story unfolds.
This article is a good reminder to all of us, Rachel, and the comments are both fun and useful. I’d better quit reading and go write. Then, “of course,” I can examine it for ruts. (I love “of course,”)
I write In first person and I feel it’s even easier to fall into a rut when you are in the same voice for the whole novel.
As a reader, it can be irritating when I notice an author using a similar phrase or simile in different books, coming from completely different characters. I feel like I’m hearing the author at that point, instead of the character and it snaps me out of the story. I’m sure I’ll do the same thing when I write multiple novels, but hopefully I’ll catch myself!
I was in an “in spite of ” rut while writing my first book. A kind writing coach pointed out my penchant for that phrase. When I looked, I was amazed at how many times I’d used it!
My ruts tend to emotional reactions involving breath. Breath caught, she held her breath, took a deep breath. I swear after my first drift people would think my characters are asthmatic.
GAHHH!!!
I just realized I did that…annnnd back to the editing…but first, I must take a deep breath.
In on of my favorite author’s first book the MC snarled a lot. I was happy that the author dropped that ‘rut’ in the next book.
One author’s rut was metaphors. Okay, I like a good metaphor but not in every other paragraph. And I’m not exaggerating here. Half way through the book I cringed whenever the next one popped up – that’s a lot of cringing.
Great post! Thank you, Rachel.
It’s easy to spot other writers’ ruts and not one’s own, so I’m glad to see examples of what to look out for in my own writing.
An area that’s difficult to avoid repetition is in describing how emotion displays itself physically. New ways of presenting a frown or a gasp can end up sounding silly–I suppose that’s where really strong dialogue comes to the rescue, removing the need of too many describers.
While participating in the National Writing Project a few years back, I noticed I used references to Hitler–especially as hyphenated adjectives.
Examples: he walked Hitler-style, or she told her students she wasn’t going to be Hilter-like about the rules. I’ll blame it on watching Seinfeld’s soup Nazi episode a bit too much.
I also subconsciously insert a roll-top desk into scenes. It is a favorite family heirloom.
I just have one question (oh, and I use “just” and “really” far too often). If a character has a particular habit, is that a rut? I have a character who looks at her hands or picks at her fingernails when she is feeling anxious. She does it frequently, but then she does have some anxiety issues. So…what should a writer do in that situation?
I recently read a book where the characters were constantly scratching their heads. I started laughing halfway through, wondering if secretly, they all had head lice. In the end, all the scratching didn’t ruin the book and I thought it was, overall, charming.
Thank you for posting such a wonderful reminder. I am sure I will come across many of my own writing ruts along the way!