Blogger: Mary Keeley
I planned my daily schedule for this week last Friday because my weekend was going to be full and I had a long list of items to address this week. Feeling proud of my great organizational efforts, I breezed through a busy Saturday and semi-restful Sunday, fairly relaxed. Then came Monday. It became one of those weeks. Can you relate?
I was feeling every aspect of the human condition as my well-planned schedule was overruled by important interruptions and opportunities that needed to be addressed while the iron was hot. It doesn’t matter if the interruptions are welcome or unwanted. They are to be expected. But as this week’s events unfolded I recognized the tension rising in my neck and shoulders and my jaws tightening with concentration and determination. Then I started off yesterday morning with email problems. Nothing calamitous by any measure but enough to trigger heightened stress.
For many of you maintaining a steady beat among full- or part-time jobs, children’s schedules, and a manuscript deadline is your dance. When something interrupts that rhythm, everything shifts off balance. For me this week was already full before it began. I had several contracts in negotiation, scheduled phone calls and Skype sessions, and then five or six proposals I’d been waiting for arrived at once. A family emergency and the email problems were the tipping point.
Here are several steps I’ve found useful in handling unexpected interruptions with grace:
- Walk away from your work and do something different for a few minutes. Actually, I found myself doing this without deliberate attempt. My mind and body just seemed to know… Step outside and take in several long, deep breaths of fresh air.
- Next, pray, thanking God for his plan for your week and asking him to help you respond in a way that honors and pleases him. Okay, this might take more than a few minutes. A Scripture that helps me is Philippians 4:6-7: “Be anxious for nothing, but by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
- Enjoy a healthy snack. Some of you may have taboos about having food near your computer. Not me; I’m a grazer. I try to be good about keeping fruit and nuts or fresh vegetables washed and ready in the refrigerator. In these stress-reducing moments taking good care of myself gives me a sense of well-being, refreshment, and renewed energy.
Instead of it being an additional interruption, this momentary break clears my head so I can re-prioritize quickly and get back to productive work.
What do you do to relieve stress when interruptions throw your well-laid plans into chaos? Do you have a favorite Scripture that helps you in this situation? Some of you may be experiencing long-term interruptions. What do you do to stay calm and respond with grace each day?
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I try to write first thing in the morning. For me, it means going to bed super early and getting up before the demands of the day start popping up. I address related tasks (emails, social marketing)later in the day when I am tired and more likely to have interruptions.
I also try to break my writing into very small assignments to myself. I look at a devotion topic, for example, and tell myself that I need to have certain part complete in an hour. If I need more time, I don’t stress, but generally I am surprised that I can finish sooner than planned. Giving myself a mini-assignment helps me push the other things on the to-do list out of my mind. They will have their own assigned times later.
It sounds good, but those interruptions haven’t started this morning yet!
Carol, you must be a morning person. It’s great that you can arrange your schedule to be able to write during your best and most quiet time of day. Focusing on a mini-assignment is a great suggestion. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, Mary, for calling my efforts to get it all done a “dance”–that sounds much more creative and fulfilling. My weekend to-do list is more an Irish jig than a serene waltz. St. Patrick’s Day blessings to you and all the writer-dancers!
You’re welcome Lee. I hope you have time to enjoy a delicious Irish meal as you dance your way through the weekend.
Carol, I like your ideas. I was in the habit of getting up early until my doctor told me I needed more sleep. Now, I need to get back to doing this, because getting up later sometimes cuts all my writing time out. Get to bed early. I am making up my mind again to do this. 🙂 Thanks for the reminder.
Mary, you have described my month. It was already busy going into this month, and things were added that have almost tipped me into a crazy cycle. Thanks for the reminder to step out of the to-do’s of my day/week/month and take a short break. I tend to get so wrapped up in doing that I forget the refreshing benefits of just being.
Sometimes when I need a break, I like to take a walk outside. I read or work on something around the house. The verse you quoted is one of my favorites.
I hope your weekend is more restful than your week was!
Exactly, Jeanne. So often we think we need to gut it out and forge through, when taking a quick break might serve as a jump-start to finishing more quickly–and with better results. I hope you have a peaceful weekend too.
Oh Mary, I’m sorry to hear you had such a hectic week, but I love your perspective that times like these are opportunities to draw close to God. The last two months have been riddled with sickness in our house, the last three weeks bringing me to my breaking point. There were moments when all I could do was lie down and rest, which I’m learning can be just as productive as pushing through the work sometimes.
So true, Sarah. It’s amazing what a power nap or getting a few minutes of fresh air can do (when not sick). I hope your family is on the road to recovery now.
Sarah, you and your family are in my prayers. I’m glad you are taking the time to rest. That is so important.
Power naps have saved my days many times, Sarah. So sorry to hear about all the sickness. It truly does weary a soul and a body.
This is great encouragement. I think we can respond with grace when we realize it is part of life and inevitable from time to time. Many times my kids upset well-laid plans. I try to remember that they won’t always be playing around my desk and that readjusts my mind set 🙂
Great perspective, Lisa. A blessing for your kids.
Lisa, I have to remind myself, too, that my kids won’t be little for very long. They love talking with me. I need to give them all my attention and consider it a gift while I’ve got it. 🙂
As a mother of four, the youngest being a set of three year old twin boys, I understand what it means to have my well-laid plans interrupted. In this season of my life, it’s actually become the new normal. I often tell people I think the saying: “Don’t cry over spilled milk” is meant for the mommy who has yet ANOTHER mess to clean up.
Because we’ve been blessed with twins, and two creative (a.k.a. messy) little girls, I fully believe God has given me the grace to withstand the interruptions in this season. I have a favorite saying, which is hung on my wall, it say: “The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.” I cling to that truth and I remember Matthew 6:25-34, when Jesus spoke against worrying. In many ways, stress is the fear that we won’t accomplish what we need to. I try to remember that I have what I need to walk through today and God will give me what I need for tomorrow’s work.
On especially crazy days, I take the kids outside for a break. Just getting a breath of fresh air makes all the difference. I also love to listen to worship music and, if it’s been a stressful week and I need a little break from it all, I’ll turn on a good Doris Day movie and let all the stress melt away.
What a great quote, Gabrielle. And an important verse of Scripture and perspective to keep in mind.
Another Doris Day fan. Who cannot feel more lighthearted enjoying one of her movies.
Wonderful suggestions, Mary! One of the ways I relieve stress is by weight lifting, and working off all that (stressful) kinetic energy.
There’s some internet meme that shows a poster, with the words, “Keep Calm and (blank)”, and one fills in the rest of it.
Looking at what folks come up with for those can be a good laugh, and help relieve stress also.
I’m glad you’ve found what works for you, Larry.
Oh Mary, this post could not have come at a better time for me. Yesterday, I had a bit of a meltdown. My dearest parents are struggling with health issues and they live several hours away. After the tears, a gentle hug from My Sweet Husband, a cuppa tea and a conversation with the Lord, I came up with a plan that works for all of us.
Over the years, I have found, my response to stress, whether from interruptions or catastrophic events, is best handled with some kind of strategy. I have to have a plan….and then I can proceed with peace.
Reciting scripture helps. And remembering to ask myself this question, “What does this experience make possible?” (from Michael Hyatt)
Hoping you have time for tea and a relaxing weekend.
Kathryn, you are in my prayers. Both of my parents are in heaven now, but I was with them as each went through difficult terminal illnesses. It is difficult watching your parents struggle with illness. Having them live several hours away only makes it more worrying.
Blessings.
Christine, thank you so much for your prayers! One thing I love about the Christian writing community is the prayer support!
It is hard to watch our parents struggle. I know you must miss your folks very much. I pray the Lord comforts you…
Thank you again for your prayers and your thoughtfulness! Blessings to you!
Thank you, Kathryn. I do miss them, but I know they are with God, so that gives me comfort.
Take care.
Christine 🙂
Thanks for the suggestion, Kathryn. Developing a strategy for responding to an interruption is a great idea. I can see that creating a template version (1-stop and take a breath, 2-evaluate the situation with a clear mind, and 3-determine action needed) that can be personalized when needed is stress-reducing in itself.
I definitely can relate, Mary. And how is it that computers always decide to have glitches when you least need them?
Keeping healthy food nearby sounds like a good plan. It’s a great way not only to nourish and care for yourself, but to keep from the temptation to go for chocolate or worse things as a stress reliever.
Walking away definitely helps. Going for a walk, I find, is a great stress reliever, but it’s not always possible to take a walk at the moment when my stress level has gotten to an intolerable level. I used to stay where I was, trying to plow through and get to the other side, but I’ve come to realize that that is almost abusive. Just walking down the hall and back can help calm me down (I pray while I walk).
You mentioned the two things that I think are crucial to lowering stress: God and thankfulness. God’s grace is the only way I can deal with life. You mentioned thanking God for His plan. I have a slightly difference approach. I thank God for all the ways He’s helping me and for the the graces I’m not aware of, and I thank God for all the things that are going right. For example, a couple of weeks ago I fell (on the way to church, ironically)and my face literally slammed into the side walk. I injured my mouth and was bleeding a lot. I couldn’t get the bleeding to stop, so I went to a walk in clinic (it was Sunday). They didn’t accept my insurance and it cost more money than my budget could afford, but I wasn’t going to drive around looking for a clinic that would accept my insurance. I was in pain and on a liquid diet for a while, but all during it, I thanked God that I hadn’t hit my head, broken my nose or my nose or a hip, and that I hadn’t had to go to the emergency room, which would have cost much more. I’ve found that in any situation, no matter how difficult, there are always things to be thankful for.
I hope that all is well with your family now and that you have a gentle weekend.
Blessings!
Christine, I’m so sorry you were injured. I hope you heal quickly. Your response to the significant interruption was God-honoring. It’s good to remember the negative interruptions could always be worse, and to praise God for the many times a day he prevents bad things from happening without our being aware.
Thanks for your kind wishes. A brother had a setback involving his health issues.
Thank you, Mary. I am healing without complications. Praise God!
I’m sorry to hear about your brother. Please know that you and your family are in my prayers.
Hoping you are healed…and love that you look for ways to thank the Lord…even when it seems like a complaining mode would be completely justified! Way to Keep Calm and Carry On! Blessings!
Thank you so much, Kathryn. It was God’s grace that got me through.
OH MY WORD!!!! If I lived ANY closer, I’d have come and taken care of you.
I’ve been watching Call the Midwife this week–even though the list is long. I just needed an opportunity to go to a place very different from normal life and simply relax.
Of course I did get up at 1 the night before and worked on my Bible study for an hour when I couldn’t sleep. That helped, too, get me back to bed at a still unreasonable hour, but a little more relaxed.
Maybe we should just build interruptions into our plans and simply welcome them–“oh good, you’re here!” when they come.
My wonderful husband, however, can recognize the signs and often has the best suggestion: “take out?”
Greeting our interruptions . . . there’s a creative approach. I’m going to try that. Maybe it will stunt stress before it escalates.
Ha! Our husbands know us well. Mine can sense it in my voice and then offers to pick something up on the way home. We are blessed.
It’s been a week of disruptions for me. Today I decided to do some menial work until my mind settled down some. It’s so much easier for me to do something physical when I’m frustrated,
and it helps me to get back to normal.
Dale, you choose a stress reliever with side benefits. Doing a physical activity accomplishes another task while you’re relieving stress from disruptions.
How timely is your blog, Mary. God is amazing. Last night I blogged about writing when sick, and this afternoon I come here and find your post on the grace of God and Philippians 4:6-7!
“What do you do to stay calm and respond with grace each day?”
Love the snack idea. Munchies are great, and go well with hot tea. I also try to memorize verses so I can meditate on God’s Word all day long. Every word goes a long way.
I agree, Jan. Repeating Scripture is like a balm. I hope you’re feeling better today.
Thank you, Mary, for the well wishes, and for the Phil 4 reminder!
Thank you for sharing your schedule, Mary.We can all relate.
I worked on three different conferences this past week. When I sat down to do the final project about 10:00 p.m. last night, someone cancelled it. God is good!
Prayer, taking a break, and eating healthy snacks works. It gives a positive perspective.
This post-a-note is on my desk: “I am depending on you, O LORD my God.” Psalm 7:1
I prayed for you this morning.
Three conferences at once. That’s a heavy load, Marilyn. I’m thanking God with you that he intervened on your behalf last night. Thanks for your prayers.
When you wrote this article you must have been hiding in my closet…LOL! Interruptions are part of my life with four kids and when baseball starts, well, let’s just say they need to invent a sand-proof laptop. (I would never miss watching the game…I’m a voice-loosing-baseball-cheering mom).
Every mom has some strategies…one of mine is Having a few days where I am “at work” and then I will spend total days not writing just having fun with the kids. We celebrate together the successes as belonging to all of us.
Then…I just try not to pull any hair out. LOL!
Wonderful thoughts shared here today, Mary!
I’m a “voice-loosing-hockey-cheering mom”!
AND because of my time spent as a missionary in Bolivia, I can politely ask the ref if he can even see what’s going on, in Spanish. SUPER politely. SO polite he would offer me tea and scones.
Or not.
Jennifer,
My husband complains about basketball refs in our West African language, and even though I’m the only one who can understand him in those crowded bleachers, it still embarrasses me! Because really, why would two obviously American parents watching their obviously American kid on the court be speaking this weird language if they WEREN’T talking about the ref, or the coach, or another player who doesn’t seem quite sportsmanlike! I think you and my husband would get along splendidly 🙂
Leia, I bet we would!! And basketball would be waaaaaaaay warmer too!
Michelle, that’s a new working venue for writing moms: bleachers at the ball park. I’m glad you found the strategy that works for you and your family.
You’re so creative! Once I was waiting for my kid’s baseball practice to be over, and I brought a few chapters (printouts) to edit with a red pen. The moms around me thought I was grading papers! Well, it sort of looked like it. But I was severe — didn’t give myself a good grade LOL.
We’ve given up having an iron-clad schedule. We base our week on the boy’s hockey schedules, and who has to be where and when.Even then, a game can get cancelled or added on a day’s notice. Thankfully, my tree nerd husband can easily work from home in dormant season, but once the pollen flies, he’s running hither and yon.
I follow the “que sera sera” field of thought. Whatever will be, will be. I try to roll with things and take it all in stride.
Although last summer when United gave me a free 4 day trip home from Oklahoma, I was not happy AT ALL. But it wasn’t like I was stuck in Borneo, right?
Ah yes, those sports schedules are a challenge. I can see why you have to settle into the que sera sera approach. It must be good training for taking interruptions in stride, and it sounds like you’re doing well at it.
Que sera sera. That’s another reference to a Doris Day movie today. The Man Who Knew Too Much is one of my favorite DD movies.
Dear? I declare it’s Doris Day Day.
You weren’t stuck in Boreno, but I’m sure it felt like it. Glad you got home safely.
Cleveland. But close…it was a jungle! HAHAHA!
😉
Why, I do believe it is a certain Ohio city a bit farther south which has that particular motto for its’ football team, Jennifer!
(Too bad I didn’t know you were to Cleveland. I would have been delighted to request a meet-up and binge on delicious Canandian chocolates! 😉 )
Teach us to number our days and recognize how few they are: help us to spend them as we should. Psalm 90:12 LB
He will keep in perfect peace all those who trust in him, whose thoughts turn often to the Lord! Isaiah 26:3 LB
Thanks Jenni. I will post them on the doorpost of my house and on my gate (translation: computer monitor)(Deuteronomy 6:9).
I don’t have much stress in my life. As a retiree, kids are gone, and no longer a 9-5 job, so I have lots more time to balance the demands of life with writing my stories. Still deciding if having less stress, time for myself and the wrinkles that go with it, are worth the trade off for all the stress of kids,job, and no time for myself. One day you’ll wish you could have back all those hectic days and the lovely young face looking back in the mirror. I Thank God for each stage of life, both then and now as I pursue a relative life of leisure and proudly wear the wrinkles that go with it.
A good reminder for all, Elaine. Thank you.
When things begin to come apart, the Spirit reminds me of the larger picture. God calls me to my mission, whatever that might be, in order that Christ might be better formed in me through that effort. As I work through the difficulties and disappointments, the fruit of the Spirit is worked into me. I can’t always head out for a long walk or retreat to the garden, but keeping the right perspective helps a lot in reducing the tension.
Susi, those are wise words to take to heart. Thanks so much for sharing.
Thank you for being my heroine. Through your consistant posts, I have come to respect you and expect nothing but the best.
Thank you, Heidi. I’m humbled and hope to not disappoint.
Love everyone’s suggestions.
Nothing refreshes or calms me more than music in varying forms. Then once calm is restored, since I’m a list maker, I’ll rewrite my to-do list for the period that was interrupted. It helps me put everything in perspective.
Just read about the struggles folks are going through, and know that you and yours are in my thoughts, and may you have a blessed weekend and find a respite from the stress and struggles.
Mary, I don’t have a favorite Scripture along these lines, but I do kinda like to read. Imagine that. So I’ve learned that a few minutes with whatever book is lying around really does help. I think we all need to find something quick that can change our focus and let us come back at it, refreshed.
My life is one big interruption lately. I try to leave at least half an hour a day open in case something unexpected comes up. It works in theory. 🙂
Walking away is a good plan for me, but I often force myself to work through the chaos. In the end, I feel a sense of accomplishment and relief. I also keep a Bible in my office, so I can turn to it for even a few moments of peace.
I like the verse you shared, Mary. One of my other favorites is Philippians 4:13, which reminds me that I can handle whatever comes my way, because Christ gives me the strength.
Thanks for the tips-always a good reminder!
I draw or exercise for a break. It helps.
What has helped me the most is being able to look back and see how God has used the delays for good.
A delay in getting a book proposal to a particular interested publisher? During that delay a radio program in discussion was put into effect, and an idea for a weekend retreat expansion of the idea turned into two actual weekend retreats with very positive responses from the men and the pastors.
It is important to keep in mind what and whose those plans and dates are – if they are just “ours” and held rigid, we need to be open to change.
That perspective needs to change once the dates are due to agreements, contracts, or affects other people for personal or professional reasons.
It is like a small church pastor – if he is truly “doing it all” he can be disorganized and fly by the seat of his pants, but as the church grows and more people are affected by the planning (music team, office, etc), there is a need for more structure so that the whole team is on the same page.
I am still a natural planner and ‘to do” list maker, but am learning to make my plans in pencil, and trust God as the ultimate Editor!