Here we are in the middle of the holidays and with Christmas over, we’re rushing headlong into NEW YEAR’S which for many of us means… resolutions. I’ve always loved the feeling of starting a fresh year and optimistically making a list of things I want to accomplish, so I usually spend quite a bit of time on this. I’ve read all kinds of blog posts and articles about how to effectively set goals.
But this year I can’t seem to muster any excitement for it. I jotted down a list of goals but it looked like just one more “to-do” list in a never-ending succession of to-do lists that I can never quite finish. One more set of standards I would probably never live up to. I have no emotional engagement in these goals. All I could think was, Who cares?
I tore up my list, so now I’m resolution-less. I feel untethered without my annual self-imposed marching orders, yet I’m unwilling to make myself another list.
We’ve been told over and over to make our goals specific and measurable: “I want to run a marathon” instead of “I want to be in shape.” Ironically, I think the push towards the quantifiable result can distance us from our internal motivation for the goal in the first place.
What if we went the opposite direction and stated the underlying emotional reason for the goal? Most people’s resolution to “get in shape” or “lose weight” would translate to “feel good about myself” and “look good to others.” Maybe we’d all learn more about ourselves and be able to keep “resolutions” better if we connected to what’s really driving us.
So I’ve decided to focus on my internal motivations instead of the goals themselves. I’m asking myself: How do I want to feel? What do I want to be? Once I identify those motivations, then I’ll try to make daily choices that steer me towards them, and try to avoid things that lead me away from them. A whole new approach to resolutions. Adjectives, mostly, rather than nouns and verbs.
So here are a few of my words:
- Peaceful.
- Effective.
- Wise.
- Energetic.
- Healthy.
- Caring.
Did you make any New Year’s resolutions or goals? If you were to come up with some words that describe how you want to feel or be this year, what would they be?
Accept each day is woven with joy, blessings, and challenges. God has it all handled.
A wise approach to goal-setting that gets to the core of the issue: motives. God looks on the heart. It is not necessarily what we do but why we do it.
Blessings for a holy new year!
MaryAnn Diorio
I so enjoyed this refreshing look at resolutions. I will spend some time praying on this and making my goals for 2020. Thank you and Happy New Year.
If you have something to prove, you can do anything.
The world will try to stop your heart;
the world, it does not care
and will gladly rip apart
your very breathing air.
Your dearest friends will weaken you
with misplaced sympathy,
and with gentle hands undo
the seeds of victory.
Set your face against cold
monsters that wait beyond the light,
and let them see the bold
still stand, at the edge of night.
Illegitimi non carborundum, dude,
and show them what you’re out to prove.
I don’t usually set goals at the first of the year. I have goals, but the new year doesn’t prompt them. I guess I’m like you maybe, that I don’t want a list making me feel like a failure … I don’t want to cause that feeling. But it’s been a tough season. My aunt passed away at Thanksgiving, and a close family member (not in my household) made a decision that has crushed our whole family. I keep asking myself: If I had done this or that, would their choice have been different? So I want to be more hospitable. I want my family to know this home has an open door. And yesterday started things off so lovely. Someone knocked on our garage door … it scared my girls. It was my cousin, who’s like a sister to me, and she’d been playing basketball in our driveway. We didn’t even know she was there. Made my day. We visited together, loved on each other regarding this painful season, and played basketball together. That’s what I want. She didn’t have to call to come over … she just showed up. She knew she could.
LOVE this! I’ve always struggled with SMART goals and frequently reflect on my motivations. Planning that begins with awareness is so helpful!
I love the words you have chosen to guide your daily goals. I think I will adopt a few of them in order to make better decisions. Thanks!
I resolve not to make any resolutions.
I resolve not to make any resolutions.
I haven’t made resolutions for years. I, too, always feel enthusiastic to start a new year with hope. This past year brought some grieving into my life that mellows my ambition and reframes my thoughts on life. Life has taken on a sharper dimension, and accomplishments, goals, are not my focus. Living well is my focus. That may look similar, but the motives are different. I was encouraged to choose a focus word each year. I am considering “abundance” for 2020. Abundance in the sense of significant moments, beauty, and love. My list words might include: center, focus, kind, encourage, contribute, wonder, thoughtful, friend, and refresh. I enjoyed reading this post.
Rachelle, I love the idea of looking at the motivation behind the goals. I’ve never thought about that before. I’ve focused on one word for a number of years now. It takes the pressure off of achieving, and helps me work on becoming more the person I believe God wants me to be. My word for 2020 is PRESENT.
I like the words you’ve chosen!
I’m a big goals person, but one thing I can’t do is time block. I keep hearing how all these top producers time block and have tried it multiple times to no avail. I am a panster when I write, so why would time blocking work for me?
I like your approach for the year. One thing I want to work on is approaching each day with gratitude and peace, learning to accept what I cannot change and really focusing on giving control over to God.
Gracious
Kind
Wise
Healthy
Strong
Loving
Creative
Energetic
Effective
For those who might not have heard, Beth Vogt’s daughter, Katie Beth, is in the hospital with gall bladder trouble.
Please pray for her, and if you have a moment, drop in at Beth’s Facebook page with a kind and encouraging word.
https://www.facebook.com/beth.vogt
Love this! I think I have been struggling with this very thing! As I reflect today, I am going to try and key into the internal motivations instead of a list of “should-do’s”.
Thank you!