Blogger: Rachelle Gardner
Here we are in the middle of the holidays. With Christmas over, we’re rushing headlong into New Year’s, which for many of us means… resolutions. I’ve always loved the feeling of starting a fresh year and optimistically making a list of things I want to accomplish.
This year I can’t seem to muster any excitement for it. I jotted down a list of goals but it looked like just one more “to-do” list in a never-ending succession of to-do lists that I can never quite finish. I have no emotional engagement in these goals. All I could think was, Who cares?
I tore up my list, so now I’m resolution-less. I feel untethered without my annual self-imposed marching orders, yet I’m unable to make myself another list.
We’ve been told over and over to make our goals specific and measurable: “I want to run a marathon” instead of “I want to be in shape.” Ironically, I think the push towards the quantifiable result can distance us from our internal motivation for the goal in the first place.
What if we went the opposite direction and stated the underlying emotional reason for the goal? Most people’s resolution to “get in shape” or “lose weight” would translate to “feel good about myself” and “look good to others.” Maybe we’d all learn more about ourselves and be able to keep resolutions better if we connected to what’s really driving us.
So I’ve decided to focus on my internal motivations instead of the goals themselves. I’m asking myself: How do I want to feel? What do I want to be? Once I identify those motivations, then I’ll try to make daily choices that steer me towards them, and try to avoid things that lead me away from them. A whole new approach to resolutions. Adjectives, mostly, rather than nouns and verbs.
So here are a few of my words:
The list may change, but I don’t want to make it too complicated. I just want the words to be a guide as I make daily choices, plans, goals and to-do lists throughout the year.
Did you make any New Year’s resolutions or goals? Or did choose one word for the year? If you were to come up with some words that describe how you want to feel or be this year, what would they be?
Image copyright: / 123RF Stock Photo