Blogger: Rachelle Gardner
Here we are in the middle of the holidays. With Christmas over, we’re rushing headlong into New Year’s, which for many of us means… resolutions. I’ve always loved the feeling of starting a fresh year and optimistically making a list of things I want to accomplish.
But…
This year I can’t seem to muster any excitement for it. I jotted down a list of goals but it looked like just one more “to-do” list in a never-ending succession of to-do lists that I can never quite finish. I have no emotional engagement in these goals. All I could think was, Who cares?
I tore up my list, so now I’m resolution-less. I feel untethered without my annual self-imposed marching orders, yet I’m unable to make myself another list.
We’ve been told over and over to make our goals specific and measurable: “I want to run a marathon” instead of “I want to be in shape.” Ironically, I think the push towards the quantifiable result can distance us from our internal motivation for the goal in the first place.
What if we went the opposite direction and stated the underlying emotional reason for the goal? Most people’s resolution to “get in shape” or “lose weight” would translate to “feel good about myself” and “look good to others.” Maybe we’d all learn more about ourselves and be able to keep resolutions better if we connected to what’s really driving us.
So I’ve decided to focus on my internal motivations instead of the goals themselves. I’m asking myself: How do I want to feel? What do I want to be? Once I identify those motivations, then I’ll try to make daily choices that steer me towards them, and try to avoid things that lead me away from them. A whole new approach to resolutions. Adjectives, mostly, rather than nouns and verbs.
So here are a few of my words:
Faithful
Productive
Responsive
Wise
Energetic
Healthy
Caring
The list may change, but I don’t want to make it too complicated. I just want the words to be a guide as I make daily choices, plans, goals and to-do lists throughout the year.
Did you make any New Year’s resolutions or goals? Or did choose one word for the year? If you were to come up with some words that describe how you want to feel or be this year, what would they be?
TWEET THIS: Having trouble creating meaningful new year’s resolutions? Agent @RachelleGardner has some thoughts.
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Yeah, I have a resolution. To see 2016.
Life has narrowed down to the singularity of survival, and goals are foreshortened into what I can do in the next hour. Everything else is a “pass the hash pipe” dream. It all seemed so real once – the travel, the graceful lifestyle, the cherished hours spent with friends and family.
Now it’s just outliving the hour.
But there’s still work to do, and it;s perhaps more meaningful. There are two blogs to write, and I’ve been told that they make a difference.
There are stories to finish, and others to start. I’m told I’ve given hope.
Survival is ugly, but it has a purpose, and like a flower growing from compost, that purpose may be fashioned by God into something lovely.
I’m definitely praying for your resolution to be realized. You matter. You really matter. God bless you, Andrew.
Thank you so much, Shelli.
Hang tough, because the plan is, after ACFW in Dallas, I might be heading up to, ohhhh, Gallup. Then up into Canyon de Chelly and THEN!?!?! Monument Valley!! My BFF is hoping to join me.
But there’s this certain Mexican restaurant in Belen that I like.
I’ll do my best.
Still hope to make Dallas. We’ll see.
Dying well is a worthy goal, Andrew. And what is dying well, but living well to the last? I have appreciated your comments a lot over the past couple of years. You have a platform that is larger than you imagine, I think, and you can yet do much to further the kingdom.
This thought and accompanying image–that survival is ugly but has a purpose and that God may bring a flower from the compost–is especially moving. It is true for all of us, though most of us are not aware of it the way you are.
Thanks.
Thank you, Sally – you just gave wings to my words, with “dying well”.
That is exactly right, and the way you phrase it, it is both positive and lovely.
Every day’s a gift, and it is such an honour to be here, to be part of this community.
(And I have to admit, it is a hoot to have docs scratching their heads and wondering exactly what I’m doing this far past my sell-by date!)
Ha. What do doctors know?
You’ll still be here confounding them next year, too, if God so desires.
A doctor once told me my husband would die within five years because of all the scar tissue on his lungs. My husband lived another seventeen years. His healthy young lung doctor, on the other hand, died a few months later in a plane crash.
God has given us our days. And he didn’t bother checking with the doctors first.
Praying you have a productive and joyful 2015.
Seventeen years! That’s inspiring.
I sure intend to be here. Life is too much fun to quit, and I bet that is one of the most important factors in beating any illness.
Thank you, Sally. You’ve really made my day, and started 2015 with a smile.
You’re in my prayers, Andrew!
Jennifer, thank you.
I’m a day late to this discussion, Andrew, but I want to add an anecdote to your comment regarding your doctors’ head-scratching. I was at a Tumor Board session (where physicians and other care-givers gather to discuss cancer cases) and overheard this exchange between two physicians–neither of whom had ever expressed in my presence belief in a higher power:
Doc 1: What would you say if I told you I had a patient whose tumor was prayed over and it just disappeared? Like it was never there.
Doc 2: I’d say that I have a patient they can pray for.
May all the prayers for you continue to confound your doctors, Andrew. Happy new year.
Shirlee, thank you so much! You gave me a big smile this morning.
I hope 2015 is wonderful for you!
My word for 2015 is CHANGE. I’m looking forward to making changes in my schedule, my writing, as well as in my personal and spiritual life. All good stuff. 🙂 And of course, there are some things I don’t want to change…so there’s 2 sides to the word. All in all, I’m looking forward to this new year.
Hope all of you find much peace and happiness and satisfaction in the coming year!
Cathy, I love that you picked a word with two sides … what should change, what shouldn’t.
I love that, Cathy. There’s 2 sides to the word. SO true. So very true.
I don’t know what turned me against resolutions, but years back, something did. It seems too overwhelming, and it flashes “failure.” I have and have had enough of that.
I do have internal goals … like growing nearer to God each day, making a difference in my corner of life, being who God wants me to be. But I think looking at the big picture is too intimidating. Just give me today.
So, I’ll choose the word TODAY.
And I’m grateful God has given me direction for today. 🙂 And I’m pouring out my heart and soul.
Amen, Shelli!
I’m just in awe of that.
Today.
Wow.
I’m working on 2015, but have had the chance to look back at my resolutions from years past:
2010: I will get my weight down below 220 pounds.
2011: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 230 pounds.
2012: I will develop a realistic attitude about my weight.
2013: I will work out 3 days a week.
2014: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.
Ha ha, I love it. At least I know I’ll get the walk in because my sister has a Malamute. They have to be walked 2-5 miles every day or they are terrible to live with. She actually bought that breed because she knew she would have to walk it so much. Good strategy.
So, is 2015 “type the word ‘gym’ every other Thursday” ?
I want to feel like a professional writer. I write regularly, but I want to get stuff done instead of just revise for a decade. I want to plan and write fast and edit until it shines and submit stuff on a regular basis.
You ARE a writer, Kristen. Do not forget that. Just think of “professional” as the bling on the word, not the crux of it.
I think my word for 2015, other than “contract”, seems to be “persevere”.
I like your list, Rachel. I usually make one or two writing-related resolutions, but this year I haven’t really felt to do that. It may have something to do with how I’ve sort of put my manuscript on the back burner while I do other types of writing. I suppose my word for this year would be “relationship” as it pertains to my walk with God. I really want that to be the basis for everything else I do.
My word for the year is TRUST. I tend to worry and have a lot on my plate, but that doesn’t fix anything. I need to trust God.
I started getting serious about goal setting a little before Christmas – not a person that puts much faith into New Years resolutions. You’re right that goals don’t mean much if there isn’t an emotional attachment to them, though. Each one of my 13 (lucky thirteen, yay ;p) goals have an emotional payoff.
I do like your focus on adjectives that have personal meaning for you – values that represent what you want to be. I’ve heard it said that you never get what you want, you get what you are.
I like the different attitude towards goals/ goal setting. I am a very devoted goal setter–not just for new year’s but all the time. I think sometimes goals are a way to control or mitigate things about ourselves/ lives we don’t like–a way of covering our shame. In any case. I would pick the adjectives: patient, slow to judge, hardworking, mindful. I also like to chose 12 things I’m interested in doing or learning more about, and tackling one every month (#1 for me is making my own kombucha). To me, this engages my curiosity rather than my perfectionism–usually a better balance.