Blogger: Rachelle Gardner
There comes a time in every writer’s life when the current book—the one that’s contracted, written, revised and at least partially edited—becomes the single most hated thing in the world.
All I really need to say about this is: That’s normal.
Almost every author I’ve worked with has told me at some point that they hate their book. Some have even called me and said flat-out they need to be talked off the ledge because they can’t stand to look at their book for one more minute.
Usually there comes a point in the editing process where they feel like they’re not just sick of it. They’re convinced it’s Really Bad. Like Piece of Cr*p bad. Like, OMG the publisher is going to cancel my book bad.
When you get like this? “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.” The man behind the curtain is your insecurity, trying to control things while pretending it knows ALL.
It doesn’t. It knows nothing. So, do nothing.
Ignore that voice. Just push through it. Keep going – whether you’re writing or editing or giving your galleys a final proofing or even if you’re looking at the printed copy of your book in your hand. Ignore the voice, don’t feed it, and soon (trust me) it will go away.
Have you ever heard that voice?
TWEETABLES
“Almost every author I’ve worked with has told me at some point that they hate their book.” Click to Tweet.
Do you ever hate your work in progress? Ignore it – it’ll go away. (The hate, not the WIP.) Click to Tweet.
If you’ve ever hated your work in progress – you’re normal! Click to Tweet.
Sue Harrison
Oh yes, that voice and I are very good sparing buddies. It always shows up when I have an overload of responsibilities and I’m tired and I’m coming down with “something.” Probably coming down with discouragement!
Thank you, Rachelle, for the encouragement. You and chocolate are life savers!
Rich Gerberding
I consider myself blessed that I have not, but I know I would get there quickly if I was writing fiction and having to create all the details and conflict and backstory and…
I’ve been speaking on my topic since 2007 (and started research a year earlier), and with each presentation – whether a small men’s breakfast or a church retreat, the prep time, actual presentation, and especially follow up discussion, makes it more real and important.
The closest I’ve come is the frustration of wanting to include several illustrations but realizing having too many gets it bogged down, so deciding which to include in a book and others to hold for live talks or blog/website.
That said, I look forward to the final editing where each word is questioned and analyzed and I will likely start to hate the editing, if not the topic – but know that it is getting closer to a broader audience for God’s Glory!
Erin MacPherson
I have been one of those authors…. it’s just so hard to read the same words over and over and not start to hate them. Interestingly, when I had to re-release a book (and read it again after 2 years of “rest”) it wasn’t nearly as bad as I remembered it. 🙂
Richard Mabry
If I had the same thing for lunch every day for six months, the sight of it would eventually make me lose my appetite. If I had to wear the same clothes every day for six months, I’d come to look on them as prison garb. So, yes, there are times when I hate the novel I’m writing.
But, as Erin has already said, when I re-read those words months later, I often am surprised that they sound pretty good.
Thanks for pointing out that I have company in this respect.
Kathy Boyd Fellure
Good comparison, Richard.
Heather
I will assume for the moment that as my works are in progress, hating them is probably a different problem, that they just are not really working at the moment. Which means I can do something about it. But I remember getting ready to defend my thesis, and thinking “I’m so over this!” I can’t wait for that phase in my writing. It will really mean the end is in sight.
Meghan Carver
That picture is hilarious, Rachelle! Thanks for telling me I’m normal.
Gabrielle Meyer
I usually hear that voice on and off the entire time I’m writing a manuscript! Some days I’m excited about what I’m working on, and then other days I just want to throw it all away and start over. I remind myself that’s what the revisions are for. 🙂 It’s usually worse right before I have to hit send. But I agree with Erin, I’ve gone back months later and been amazed at how much I enjoy my story with a little distance. So nice to know I’m in good company.
Jeanne T
Thanks for letting me know I’m normal. I have had times when I wonder what in the world I thought was good about my story. Going back and reading it after a break helps me feel a bit better about it.
I find it too easy to listen to those doubting words at times. Thanks for the reminder that it’s necessary to IGNORE them. I need that reminder.
Jan Cline
Oh yes. That voice gets around to all of us at some time in our writing life. I have had to discipline myself to turn it off and go back to what I know is the truth, go back to all my original convictions and decisions about why I write. It’s too easy to listen to the siren’s call and get off the path. Thanks Rachelle
Jenny Leo
Yes! I keep a file called “Warm Fuzzies” on hand for exactly this reason. It contains positive comments from my critique group, editor, and contest judges to remind me that someone, at some moment in time, liked my story.
Years ago I wrote a play, a comedy. I was so sick of that play that by opening night I was twisted in knots, sure that it was terrible, that none of the jokes were funny, and that everyone would avoid catching my eye as they raced for their cars at intermission. So the first chuckle at the first funny line sounded like angel music to my ears. Lesson: We are not always–maybe not ever–the best judges of our own work.
Jenni Brummett
Jenny, your “Warm Fuzzies” file is an excellent idea.
rachel
my agent currently has my book out on submission and while waiting i convince myself how bad it is by reading other really good books. i am ALWAYS comparing myself to other authors and when i read another book i LOVE, i keep thinking: rats. my book sucks.
Christopher Long
Rachel, have you been peeking in my personal journal?! Thanks for sharing that — it’s nice to know that I’m not alone.
-Chris
Tonya
Absolutely. I haven’t even felt like writing lately and I don’t know what to do?
Elissa
I hear you. I got so disgusted with my writing that I just had to stop. Sometimes a break can be a good thing.
Rather than beat yourself up about it, give yourself permission to have a “vacation” from writing. Make it a set period, just like a real vacation, say one or two weeks. In that time, do no writing, no critiquing, no reading about writing (including blogs), and definitely no reading of your own writing. Instead, read as much published work in your favorite genres as you can. The idea is to recapture the love you once had for the written word. When the vacation time is up, return to your work with what will hopefully be eagerness and fresh eyes.
As much as writers may love writing, sometimes the creative batteries really need a recharge. If you’re not under contract, it might also help to start again with a completely new project. Tell yourself you’re not even going to try for publication, that you’re just writing “for fun”. That might be all it takes to get the motor running once again.
Kathryn Barker
Awww…thanks…love the “trust me”….Okay, I can do that!
One of my mother’s favorite sayings was, “This too will pass.” As a teenager, I didn’t believe her. I thought she must not understand the true nature of the current crisis.
However, as a young mom, dealing with two babies in diapers and a husband starting his own business, I often felt overwhelmed and wondered if I could really, cheerfully, change one more diaper, keep up with the laundry, cooking, grocery shopping… and be a loving wife when my guy finally got home!
I heard my mother’s sweet voice saying, “This too will pass.” And I’d smile…yeah…she was right…eventually those little people grew into fabulous adults.
I think the process must be the same…and so I’ll trust you…and keep going!
Thanks for your delightful, helpful, fun post Rachelle.
Andrew Budek-Schmeisser
I’ve never heard the voice, but it’s probably because of the way I write, and the arc my stories have.
My stories are relatively simple, and character-and-action based. Backstory is kept to the minimum needed for character definition, and descriptive details are kept to the minimum for setting the scene.
If I were writing historical epics, or works with a more philosophical air, I would have long since been reduced to gibbering lunacy.
The editing/proofing process doesn’t bother me, as I used to write for academic journals. In that milieu, each reviewer is a flaming egotist whose demands for revision absolutely have to be met – even if they are completely at contretemps with those of a fellow reviewer. In comparison, the fiction publishing business is a breath of fresh air and reason.
Roxanne Sherwood Gray
Oh, yes, I’ve heard that voice. Thanks for this advice. I needed to hear it’s normal.
Laura Jackson
Thanks for letting me know I’m normal.
I just finished my line edits from the publisher, and I am so sick of looking at that book!
I thought it was just me.
Jenni Brummett
This distaste you speak of hasn’t occurred yet with my current manuscript, but I hope that someday it will, because that would indicate further interest from the agents I sent it to as well as their expert advice about how to improve my writing.
When I hit the send button recently the next story thrust its way into my brain. I’ve been hanging out with the characters lately, and they intrigue me and make me smile.
When I revisit the story I sent, I’ll have a fresh perspective on the places and people who’ve become familiar to me.
Camille Eide
Yep.
🙂
lisa
It’s nice to know I’m normal (about this at least 🙂 I go between being in love with my stories to wanting to burn them. Ignore the voice that ignites flames, great advice. I’m going to keep pushing forward!
Sarah Grimm
You don’t even know how much I needed this today. I’m saving this post forever. And sharing it with all of my friends.
Keli Gwyn
Just reached that point on a story I’m revising. It’s no fun, but it happens. I’m doing my best to ignore the voices and forge ahead. I know from experience that the feelings do pass and the stories usually turn out better than I expected. I’m reminding myself of that fact–frequently. 🙂
Kathryn Elliott
Just so I’m clear, with few exceptions everyone commenting today hears voices? Heck, I’m chucking my MS and starting over – this hot mess has bestseller written all over it!!!!
Michael Thompson
I never hated my ms. During the editing process, however, I found myself lost a few times, and hated my editor, but not the ms. (Caitlin Alexander, who I believe is brilliant, BTW, was my editor. I didn’t really hate her, though!) But the only “voice” I heard was hers!
Larry
Sometimes it is absolutely true, though, to realize that the work isn’t the best it could be.
I think it is very helpful to challenge the “voice” / doubt / critique of our own work, to see if it really is terrible or not.
It could be that we know it isn’t as good as it could be, and only somewhat realize what needs to be re-written: so we as writers think “it all is terrible,” because we realize some part needs re-writing, but just don’t know what to re-write, and so project that onto the entire project.
Martha Ramirez
Great advice!!! I just finished reading a book from a NY best selling author and was reading her acknowledgements. Even authors who sell millions hear that voice behind the curtain. This author had thanked someone who helped pick her up at times like these.
I even know someone who is both and agent and and author and at times goes through self-doubt. Thank you, Rcahelle for this reassurance that will without a doubt help many!
Lori
Me, never.
And if you believe that I have a bridge to sell you.
Kathy Boyd Fellure
Thank you, Rachelle. Terrific post and that picture is hilarious! I have felt like the guy in the photo for other reasons. Hopefully I didn’t look like him, at least that is not how I visualized myself.
Usually the only voices I hear are my characters arguing about a change, requesting one, or asking if I’m even listening to them.
My novels a are pre-published. But I am getting a clearer view of what is ahead of me.
But I see I am in good company. 🙂
Elaine Faber
Love that expression.”Pre-Published.” You go, girl. From now on, my works are pre-published, no long’seeking publication,’ or ‘looking for an agent,’ or ‘shopping the novel.’
Andrea Cox
Great point, Rachelle! I haven’t heard that voice in quite some time, thankfully, but I do remember what it sounds like. Hopefully, I’ll remember to push past it when it rares its ugly head again.
Do you ever hear the voice on books you’re representing? What are some of the tips you put to use to combat it?
Blessings,
Andrea
Elaine Faber
I never think,”I hate my work.” How could I? When you write about a cat that solves crimes and makes funny cracks along the way, filling many hours each day with joy and occupying my dreams most nights, how could I ever get tired of spending time in my book world with my characters? Sure, I get discouraged, tired, sometimes frustrated with making corrections after teacher reads the manuscript, but never never thinking “I hate my books’ or my cat or my other characters. They are too much a part of me. That would mean I’d have to say I hate myself and I’m much too charming…
Connie Brown
I’ve heard it. I can’t even write right now.I’m still trying to work through it.
Christopher Long
I’ve never hated a WIP. However, I did suddenly hate one of my books AFTER it hit store shelves — and years later, I still hate it. It wasn’t at all pleasant to realize that (at least in my mind) the “child” I’d carried for months had grown up to become an axe murderer. The subsequent voices from THAT experience nearly crippled me.
A great topic and a fabulous dialog, Rachelle — thanks.
Paul
Oh god yes, currently going through that right now. Still soldiering on though, I’m currently looking at plots from books I’ve loved to see where I’m going wrong.
Ernie Zelinski
Actually, the present book I am working on is called “Life’s Secret Handbook: Reminders for Adventurous Souls Who Want to Make a Big Difference in This World”. I don’t hate it. I love it.
I know that it is a work of art and I don’t want to finish it just yet, even though I know that it was already a great book, even when I had half of the material in it that I had a year ago.
Ernie J. Zelinski
International Best-Selling Author
“Helping Adventurous Souls Live Prosperous and Free”
Author of the Bestseller “How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free”
(Over 175,000 copies sold and published in 9 languages)
and the International Bestseller “The Joy of Not Working’
(Over 250,000 copies sold and published in 17 languages)
Lynn
Thank you, Rachelle! Perfect timing!
Frieda Dixon
I wrote my memoir and by the 2nd year of rewriting, editing, and tweaking I told anyone who asked that “I was sick of ME.” And I falsely assumed everyone who read my story would feel the same way. Thankfully, they did not.
Dan Erickson
It’s interesting how we are more critical of some pieces of work than others. I agree. Don’t listen to the man behind the current, because chances are we’re just beating ourselves up. So far, I’ve been able to write, edit, and get out. My third book is becoming more of a challenge in that I’m not certain where it’s leading yet and that makes the “writing” part harder. It’s the third book of a trilogy and it has to complete the story in an unexpected way.
Marci Seither
So glad to hear this!! I keep waiting to get the call from the publisher asking for the advance back because they think the book stinks!
I am a first time author and have never ridden this roller coaster before. Trying to keep my arms and legs inside the moving vehicle at all times, but so tempted to scream”Stop the ride… I need to get off!”
Thanks for letting me know that this is normal :~)
Cynthia Wright
Wow. I totally know how this feels. Wanting to throw the blasted thing across the room. It’s that you can always see an area to improve. Always find a better way to write that sentence, or structure the scene. It’s never-ending. But as the greats say, there is no perfect, just done. The hardest thing is to keep working/editing when you want to punch the thing because you’re so sick of it. But then I think…no, this is why I’m a better writer. Because I’m not “in love” with it anymore. You can’t fix what you’re starry-eyed over.
Sara Horn
Great post and all true! And it’s so nice to be reminded by the others commenting here that I’m not alone. Every time, without fail, that I’m about to send my completed manuscript to my editor, I am hit with the Oh CRAP – this is CRAP panic. I call my agent near tears and she patiently talks me off the ledge and convinces me it really is ok to hit send. And amazingly, my editor has always accepted it. I think the insecurity is a two-edged sword – it does endanger us to become convinced of stopping, halting or completely changing what weve already worked so hard on, but it also never let’s us get so confident to just throw words on a page.
Chris Schumerth
Been hearing that voice for a while now. That’s all, really. Sometimes I have to take some time away from it, then come back a little fresh. Not that I am an kind of expert at this point.
donnie and doodle
I love my characters. How could I ever hate the world in which they live?
John Woodward
I get to the point that I think, “Who the Hell is going to be interested in THIS?” because after months of editing, the plot is no longer exciting to me. I’m glad that when my wife and I wrote our first book, we had no clear idea of how it would end, so we didn’t get bored. We started with a series of incidents, not sure how they linked together, and kept it fresh up to the end. The book we’re writing now, yes I’m at the hat-it stage. I’ve been foreshadowing the ending for so long that I’m tired of it. (That said, your perfectly right that it the little neurosis behind the curtains speaking. Ignore it.)
Preslaysa
Yes, I’ve definitely heard that voice. I think my eyes were starting to look crossed as a result of reading the same pages over and over again. So, I put the novel aside for a few months and worked on something else. Now, I’m just getting back to rereading it with a fresher perspective. Taking that time has helped me correct things I would have overlooked because I was so tired of looking at the book a few months ago.
Melissa DePasse
Whew. I feel better now. Thank you.
I just went through this with my manuscript. I didn’t want to even think about it. I had almost decided that because of my feelings I shouldn’t be writing at all.
But after a few months of letting my manuscript – and myself – breathe, I started thinking about a scene I hadn’t written yet. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to write it. So last week I sat in front my laptop and I wrote. And it felt good.
Maybe absence does make the heart grow fonder… even in writing.
Thanks for the post!
LatinaWriter
This post was like therapy for me tonight.
Thank you Rachelle!