Blogger: Mary Keeley
Location: Books & Such Midwest Office: IL
Yesterday we analyzed a fiction title. Today let’s look at a nonfiction phenomenon, a self-help marriage book: The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman.
Vitals:
- Since publication in 1995, five million copies have been sold, and it’s been translated into more than 40 languages: worldwide influence.
- It is still on the ECPA bestseller list, currently #11, and it is #9 on the CBA top-50 best-seller list . . . after 15 years! In fact, since I’ve been watching the lists, I can’t remember a time when it hasn’t been there, and it’s usually in the top five or six.
- Currently, 842 customer reviews of the book appear on Amazon, with a 4 ½-star rating.
Many excellent marriage books are written by Christian experts. What makes this one the phenomenon that it is?
Something one of the reviewers on Amazon said led me to…
Clue #1:
It is so simple and easy to understand. After I read it, I couldn’t understand why I hadn’t realized these concepts before. I wish I could give a copy of this book to every man, woman, and child. What a wonderful world we would have if we all understood the “Five Love Languages” and spoke them to all we meet everyday!!
It’s so simple and easy to understand. Bingo! Picture it: When someone struggles in a marriage relationship, with the emotional pain and stress that creates, the message of the book is that a simple way to communicate love to your spouse in a manner he or she needs to hear it exists. For emotionally-weary couples, the work of repairing and restoring the most important relationship in their lives–after their relationship with Christ–can be simple and easy to understand. The message of the book provides immediate HOPE. (Application: Learn as much as you can about the needs and concerns of the people who are your intended audience and meet those needs.)
Clue #2: It works. The simple solution of understanding your spouse’s love language and “speaking it” works or the book wouldn’t have endured more than a few years. Some new simple-to-understand method would have replaced it. (Imagine the word-of-mouth marketing that continues after 15 years!)
Clue #3: The approachable author. Have you ever heard Gary Chapman talk or listened to his audio books? He is one of a few authors who records his own audio books rather than hiring a voiceover. And there’s a very good reason for this. His relaxed, down-to-earth, soothing manner is calming and reassuring, whether heard audibly or read on the printed page. He is transparent about the struggles he and his wife, Carolyn, had in the early years of their marriage. Not only is he a trained professional and a pastor, but he also speaks with authority, as someone who has been there and understands. (Just what the reader needs.)
It appears the combination of these three factors is a potent blend for a how-to book.
Is there anything observed here that provides helpful insight for your WIP? Have you read a self-help book lately worked for the same reasons? Was the latest self-help book you tried to read a dud? Why didn’t it work?
Melissa K Norris
I think the most important thing to remember in all our writing, novels, blog posts, articles, ect. is what our reader needs/wants and how to meet that.
My pastor said this Sunday, “Learn to do the basics well.” I think that applies here, as well. 🙂
Cheryl Malandrinos
Another great article. I’m so glad you’re talking about this topic.
The best self-help book I’ve ever read was Beyond Me: Living a You-first Life in a Me-first World by Kathi Macias. It called readers to be true disciples of Christ and provided unique insights into “The Good Samaritan”, “The Prodigal Son”, and “The Sower” parables.
While I believe it’s not a book for new Christians, it works for seasoned Christians because it reminds us of the commitments believers have in their union with Jesus and encourages us to take up our crosses and follow Him.
Michael K. Reynolds
I think a key factor is this: What is the big takeaway? Is it enough to change the way people act and think? With most of these books, you may read 300 pages, but only remember one or two concepts. If these concepts are powerful enough to change lives,the books will be in high demand.
Wendy
I was honored to have one of my stories published in Love is a Flame with a forward by Gary Chapman. His book revolutionized my marriage. So glad we read it early on. My husband and I still refer to it. It cracks me up when he says I’m being high maintenance with my love languages. You must choose, he teases.
I just finished Kathi Lipp’s The Me Project and I’m telling you, it is exactly what the doctor ordered. A great read!
~ Wendy
Caroline
These points are great insights into what “works” with non-fiction.
I love what you said here: “Learn as much as you can about the needs and concerns of the people who are your intended audience and meet those needs.” I totally agree. For a writing to be “simple and easy to understand,” it has to fit the needs of the readers.
The approachable author also provides connection between author and reader. The books that tend to impact me the most are ones written in such a way (with such material) that I constantly find myself nodding and saying “Yes! That’s me! I get that!” Or “What an amazing thought. I could apply that knowledge here…” So relevant and ability to relate to the thoughts adds to the impact. Jesus’ parables (though sometimes confusing to the audience) were just that – relevant to the people of the time. (Of course, the parables are still relevant to us, as well.)
Sally Napthali
Wow, thanks so much for this. I am writing a book for adults who have been sexual abused as children. It’s simple, practical and warm – that’s what people tell me anyway. The thing I’ve been thinking about lately is – Do I need to be a professional counsellor to get this book taken seriously. I use it with people all the time to help them heal and work through difficult issues and I am confident in it as a resource. I have vast experience and have some qualifications, but not enough to call myself a “professional cousnellor”.
Is it correct to say that people love to see a degree after the authors name? Am I correct in thinking I should be completing a degree in counselling before pursuing publication of my book?
Thanks for your thoughts.
Sallynapthali.com.au
Lenore Buth
It’s encouraging to read that “simple and easy to understand,” are keys to success. That sounds obvious, but I think we easily forget it when we’re writing. We’re tempted to throw in big words just to prove we’re qualified and knowledgeable. Plain talk speaks more eloquently, I think, and lingers in our minds.
Mary Keeley
Sally, books in which the author is speaking from personal experience or sharing another person’s personal experience firsthand doesn’t require the author to be a professional. But an author who is actually doing counseling in the book needs to be professionally qualified to give credibility to the book.
Mary Keeley
I agree with what you said, Lenore. Speaking of of a how-to book, simple and easy to understand may work quite well for the lay audience as we live our harried lives.
marriage relationship tips
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