Blogger: Rachelle Gardner
A writer emailed me:
The novel is finished, the query letter is drafted, the synopsis is as tight as I can get it, and I still can’t bring myself to hit that damned “send” button. I’m sure you see the work of many writers who query too eagerly and make bone-head mistakes… I’m trying to avoid making one of those blunders right now.
Plenty of writers can relate to this. There’s always a nervousness that comes with putting yourself out there, especially if you’ve been preparing for a long time.
I had a great conversation with a friend over lunch where we tried to identify the things that hold us back in our work. We tried to be really honest about our fears and talked about ways to keep our fears from impeding our success. I realized that I sometimes have the same fear of hitting “send” when I’m submitting an important project to editors at major publishing houses.
What holds us back? It’s our fear of failure. As soon as we put it out there, we become open to rejection. What if we did it wrong? What if it’s not good enough? What if someone says it’s horrible? Can I handle that?
I even feel that way about the blog sometimes. What if my post is awful? What if nobody comments? Hitting “publish” is a risk every time.
We know all the answers to this, don’t we?
We only fail when we fail to try.
We miss every shot we don’t take.
Feel the fear and do it anyway.
But you’re not looking for inspirational quotes here. Let’s talk about why you might be paralyzed when it comes time to send out that query. There are all the obvious reasons (fear of rejection, etc.) but I think there’s another factor. If you’re reading blogs and attending conferences, learning about the industry so that you can get published, you’re probably seeing a lot of “do this in your query” and “don’t do that in your query.” You’re being given so many different pieces of advice, and hearing so many agents say they’ll immediately reject you for making the smallest mistake… honestly, I think it’s enough to paralyze just about anyone.
We are telling you the bar is high and encouraging you to bring your very best work. Sometimes we tell you about how competitive it is out there, because we’re trying to give you a dose of reality.
But sometimes you have to shut your ears to all of that. You can’t take every iota of advice from every agent out there. You can’t run away scared every time someone says “This business is hard.” So all you can do is ask yourself: Is my manuscript (or proposal) ready to go? Have I done some homework so that I know which agents to query? Have I taken my time crafting the best query letter I can?
If so, then go for it. Hit “send.”
Don’t wait for perfection. You want your work to be as strong as possible, yet you can’t just wait forever, always saying, “I can do better.” At some point, you’ve got to listen to your gut when it tells you, “This thing’s good to go.”
You are definitely opening yourself up to rejection, but you could be opening yourself up to your future, too.
You’ll never know unless you hit send.
Kathryn Elliott
I fear the send button more than the scale the morning after Thanksgiving, but for me, it all comes down to faith. Faith in my work, faith in those I trust to “pretty up” my work, and faith that whatever happens, I did my best. (I gave a similar speech to my son this morning. Class elections. Fingers crossed.)
Leia Brown
I prayed for your son. Let us know if he wins his election!
Kathryn Elliott
Thanks Leia!
Leanne
Well said.
Joanna Delooze
I hit send and immediately feel like throwing up. But then I remind myself of R&R’s and agents who LIKE to help you edit the piece to perfection as long as you didn’t send complete drivel. They will always expect a certain amount of work needs to be done. Even oft published writers have to revise things. Just make sure whatever you send is the best you can get it and relax. It’s all you can do.
OR
you could stop writing and save yourself the grief…and we know that’s not gonna happen!
Christina
Joanna, I do the same. I think what makes it worse for me is that one of the first agents that responded to my manuscript really liked the story, writing was strong, yadayada, but she wanted perfection and it just wasn’t there. *shrugs* It was enough of a downer that I put my ms away, almost quit writing, too. Then I finaled in a contest, twice. One ms took 1st another took 3rd out 4. Then I sold to Love Inspired.
It’s been three months since I put that ms down and I’m just now querying other agents, so we’ll see. In the mean time I going to keep writing the next story and enjoy my first sale.;)
Julie Sunne
Oh yes, Rachelle, I’m living this now as I send my first query letters! Paralyzing! And then the thought enters that I should just scrap the entire project–“who am I to think I have something to say?” I have to continually remind myself of why I’m writing in the first place–let it go–and improve with each round of submissions.
Jeanne T
Good for you, sending out your queries! I hope they are fruitful. And, if they need more work, may God encourage you and show you what you need to do to make your story sparkle even more. 🙂
Jenni Brummett
Julie, I can relate to your statement “who am I to think I have something to say?”.
This writing life is a great opportunity to introduce boldness to humility, and then ask the Lord to bless the union. 🙂
Jeanne T
Jenni, I LOVE the way you said that–introduce boldness to humility. Great thought.
Christina
I agree with Jeanne, great thought!
April Brown
I have given up the query process.
It’s really sad. I may spend two hours per agent, researching everything about them I can find (you’d be surprised how little is out there on what many represent, and what they really like and don’t like in a query letter). After I have spent several hours on each one, and they don’t have the professional courtesy to even acknowledge receipt of a query letter, or ever even reject.
I could have another book or two written in the time I have wasted querying agents who simply have too full of a list of authors, and no interest in working with another.
I think it boils down to professional courtesy for me. I dread finding out that an agent that seems nice on Twitter, may not have the same level of professional courtesy of me that I have of them. Of course, I’m old and well on the way to blind. I treat people the same way they treat me.
Larry
Even though you have given up on the traditional route, you still don’t need to give up on writing.
There’s always Kindle, and other services and products.
Leia Brown
For me, the fear of rejection comes long before I’m ready to hit “send.” It comes when I only have a couple of chapters written and I go back and read them, thinking, “Really? I’m hoping this will be published? I don’t have a chance. I should just give up now.” And I think you are absolutely right, Rachelle, that feelings like that often overtake us because so much advice is out there warning us that we must be perfect but giving us conflicting definitions of perfection. When I am hit with the desire to give up, I have to remember that I am writing this thing for God’s glory. If he chooses to glorify himself by allowing it to be published – fantastic. But, I need to be satisfied if he chooses to glorify himself by maturing me as I wrestle to write it, submit it, and never get a response.
Heather
Like Leia, I feel the rejection long before the post or draft is written. I compose words in my head and then talk myself out of it, often thinking, no one needs yet another opinion. Yet, I keep going on to something else. I need to quell the fear to make me happy.
jamie beck
I certainly don’t like rejection, but I’ve been fortunate to receive some decent feedback from some of my ‘failed’ queries/ms requests. I’ve taken that to rework both the ms and query.
It is really all a learning process. There is no overnight success, no ‘easy’ way in. You have to risk the rejection to learn and grow.
Eventually, if you don’t quit, something will happen. Even if you eventually choose to self-publish, your product will be better if you go through the process of querying, etc., because you will have revisited you ms/query many times.
As for those who question whether their story is good enough, I ask whether there is such an objective standard? Think of music/bands some love and others hate. Same goes for movies, TV shows AND BOOKS. No matter what story you write, some will like it and some will not. Critique partners and beta readers should help you identify weaker parts of the story, but eventually you have to go with your gut and see what happens.
Good luck to all…and hit send!!
Jeanne T
Though I haven’t finished my MS to the point where I’m ready to query yet, I am certain I’m going to feel the anxiety, the butterflies and the fear. Hopefully, I’ll be brave enough to do it when I know it’s ready. 🙂
As was mentioned, when I remember Who I’m writing for, I think that will make it easier for me to hit Send and to trust Him for the results–either the rejection or the acceptance.
Christina
It’s all about trusting Him and His timing. I remember my very first ever request. I was a new writer, had just finished my first story. I wasn’t going to pitch. But this was a first conference in our town and things like that don’t happen. Several other writers, some published talked me into pitching. I got a request. A FULL request, but I never heard anything. Those who received requests at the same time had rejection letters. Me nothing. I was devastated, my ms wasn’t even worthy of a rejection, but I look back now and realize it was all God’s way of preparing me for the here and now.
Pray and hit that send button. You are so ready, Jeanne!
Bill Giovannetti
Like the others who have already commented, I hear you on this fear of clicking send. There is a point, however, when the manuscript begins to feel like an overcooked egg. Be done with it, and let the publishing gods have their way with you.
An inspirational quote from Dorothy Parker:
>>>”If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.”
Kathryn Elliott
Thanks for the morning chuckle, Bill. 🙂
Sue Harrison
Love that quote, Bill! Also love your comment about the overcooked egg. The perfect way to describe it!
Melinda Viergever Inman
Well put, Bill. True in every part.
Kris
Your post is so timely! Hit my first query “send” ever this past weekend and I thought my heart stopped for that split second. You become vulnerable. While the potential is exciting, your MS is your baby and it’s hard not to take rejections personally. It’s comforting to know that agents understand what authors are going through. THANKS!
Jenni Brummett
Kris, congrats on your first query send! If you’re so inclined, let us know what transpires.
Richard Mabry
I thought once I’d had a book or two published, the fear of hitting “send” would disappear. Wrong! If anything, it’s worse. What if this one isn’t as good as the last? What if the editor says to rewrite it, or rejects it altogether? I understand that there are accomplished actors who vomit before taking the stage, so apparently this affects anyone who puts himself out in front of the public, opening the door for criticism.
Now, before I hit “post” on this comment, I’ll re-read it. And maybe I won’t send it after all. I mean…
Christine Dorman / @looneyfilberts
I definitely relate to the email. And you are right, Rachelle. There are conflicting messages about do’s and don’ts of queries and it gets confusing and concerning. Thank you for the encouragement and affirmation.
Blessings on your day.
Oh, and by the way, I find it hard to imagine NO ONE commenting to your posts, so try to let that particular fear go. 🙂
Jenny Leo
So glad to hear I’m not alone in getting sweaty palms when hitting *send*. Just yesterday I submitted something to an agent. Two seconds after hitting *send* I got a horrible sick feeling that I’d gotten his name wrong. Checked my Sent file and (whew!) I’d gotten it right. But it took a good five minutes to recover from the adrenaline rush.
Donna
Jenny, you really made me laugh! The same thing happened to me (a few times) after I hit the “send” button. I frantically rechecked my sent file to make sure I sent the right query to the right editor! I haven’t screwed up yet but there’s still time…I just finished book 5 and am ready to query again.
Tyrean
I can definitely relate. I’ve done that with short stories, poetry and devotionals. I’m about to do that with my self-pubbed novel. I just get my work to the best I can get it, and then I send it out and hope.
Marissa
Just because you mentioned the fear of no one commenting on your blog posts I wanted to let you know I sent a link of this to a friend who is epically dragging her feet on querying.
Elissa
Some time ago, I sent out my first query. When I copied and pasted it into the email, the formatting went blammo. I didn’t realize it though, until I checked my “sent” folder a couple days later. Oh noes! I retyped the query into the email, added an apology about the messed up first one, and sent it again.
Of course, that wasn’t the worst of it. I had yet to stumble upon any of the many “how to write a query” sites on the web. The query was terrible. And the novel… well, let’s be kind and say it wasn’t as polished as it could have been.
The things I did right:
1)Queried an agent who represented my genre and was looking for new authors.
2)Did not respond to the rejection.
What did that experience teach me? That making multiple mistakes when querying won’t kill you. The world doesn’t stop turning when you behave like a completely clueless wanna-be writer.
I’m not discounting anyone’s fear here. Hitting that “send” button is like stepping out on stage, and even seasoned performers sometimes get a little stage fright.
But I’m telling you, even if you trip and fall flat on your face, it won’t kill you. Get up. Dust yourself off. Smile and go on out there. It’ll be all right.
Jenny Leo
Elissa, thanks for the reminder to acknowledge what we do RIGHT as well as the mistakes. Too often I forget to do that. It’s a learning curve.
Angela Ruth Strong
That’s not me. I err on the bone-head side.
Lindsay Harrel
There definitely comes a point at which you have to decide to send it out. The perfectionist in me fears letting go of something that isn’t perfect, but I’ll never know if it’s ready if I don’t send it.
Jenny Leo
The more eager I am to appeal to a particular audience (client, agent, editor), the more paranoid I become about hitting Send. This is because, in some riff on Murphy’s Law, the more important the document is, the more likely it is to contain a typo or silly mistake. Less important communications to third-tier targets are flawless works of wonder. LOL Why is that?
Kathleen Y'Barbo-Turner
Thank you, Rachelle, for broaching this topic!
This has been such a struggle in my career that I actually wrote a workshop about it just to teach myself that eventually you have to SEND to SELL! That workshop has been expanded and now I’m thrilled to say that I’m teaching a Continuing Ed Track at this years ACFW National conference titled Reaching THE END and Pressing SEND: A Procrastinator’s Guide. I’m hoping to include an e-loop to encourage and follow the progress of participants.
However, none of this means I’ve licked this monster. I love Bill G’s quote. Unfortunately for those who ducked the bullet, we are all writers who must let our work go at some point. I never read my books once they’re in print for that reason: I’d want to fix something.
The main point is, you cannot sell a book that is sitting in a file on your computer….
Dale Rogers
If I feel I’ve corrected any mistakes that might be there and I’ve fully covered everything that needs to be said, I feel okay about sending.
Dare DeLano
I think that working throught that fear is a rite of passage. It is scary, and those first rejections can be heartbreaking. But I have found the whole process to be incredibly instructive.
I have been querying my first novel for just over a year now and have had 72 rejections/no responses. During that time I have also recieved some very encouraging personal notes from those who rejected the query, and some incredibly important advice from an agent who rejected after reading a partial. During the entire process (I sent batches of about 10 queries at a time), I learned what was and wasn’t working in my query letter, and I continued to edit my manuscript, making it stronger and stronger. I don’t think I started querying too early, I simply think I learned from the query process some things I could not have learned without going through it.
I currently have 4 full manuscripts out to agents who have requested them, and am waiting to hear back before sending any more queries. (notice how I assume this will happen – I will be thrilled if one of these agents decides to rep me, but if not, I will have a good cry, pick myself up and keep going.)
You just have to bite the bullet and go for it or you will never be ready to publish!
Sarah Grimm
There’s always room for improvement. There’s always that overlooked error. There’s always a reason for my finger to hover over that button. I typically close my eyes right before and then peek only to squeeze them shut again right after.
Thick skin I do not have, but perseverance and willingness to learn I do have, so every “send” hit is an opportunity for an open door, whether it be to learn something new or to get a step closer to my goal.
Encouraging post. It’s good to be reminded that I’m not the only neurotic human being out here when it comes to send-hitting.
Roxanne Sherwood Gray
Sarah, From the other comments here, it looks like you’ve got lots of company as a “neurotic human being” who’s afraid to hit send. I’m also one of them.
Larry
I think that is only part of the emotional set involved with why writers are not so eager to send out those queries.
Disgust. I really do believe that it plays an equal, or greater role.
Disgust at the Kafka-esque process of the modern day publishing industry.
Disgust at the seemingly accepted industry practice of humiliating authors; because let us be frank, what we have to go through IS humiliating. “Submissions” is apt for describing what they are, because it is what authors have to do. Submit to the whims of the market. Submit to the fact that when, IF, one gets an agent, it is accepted practice that they represent both you AND the publisher. Submit to the fact that even if your agent is a wonderful, talented professional, that your deal with a publisher is going to look like a personal insult to everything you had to do to not only write the book, but to get to the point where a publisher is willing to….give you pennies on the dollar for it. Submit to the blank stares and shuffling feet of other authors who are afraid of “rocking the boat” only to be tossed overboard by their publisher.
As a writer of faith, it is just disgusting to have one’s craft, one’s ministry, revolve so much around submitting to the whims of the world.
Elissa
Larry,
I’m saddened that you find the process disgusting. I’ve always felt enlightened and yes, humbled by each rejection. I believe humility is a virtue, and one in which I am sadly lacking at times. I need to be reminded my writing is not always as magnificent as I sometimes believe.
Why? Because I can’t learn and grow if I’m already perfect. Sometimes God is kind enough to let the whims of the world nudge me into improving myself and my writing.
One other thing; a writer’s agent represents only the writer, not the publisher. There is no accepted practice that claims otherwise.
Larry
It is hard to address the points you raise, Elissa, not because I necessarily disagree on principle, but because they are based upon your personal experiences. (Not that it’s “bad”, as I feel that one of the strengths of the community here is how we are open with sharing our experiences; that we can become better writers and people as a result; but when it comes to how we as individuals interpret our writing journeys, that when discussing them and our understanding of the industry, that sadly those differences cannot be resolved, and thus can be misunderstood and misinterpretated as to while being two different journeys of two different people, that there is thus one which is not valid or that one can be valid while the other is as well in context. I guess that just has to be chalked up to the imperfect communication of falliable beings, I suppose).
For example, while you find the process helps you become a better writer, it does not help with my writing. I am glad that you are able to become a better writer; but even if that were to apply for my writing journey, it would not alter my overall perspective of the nature of what the process of becoming a writer involves (the…absurdity and demeaning nature of it).
Also….while I agree that we as writers must always work on improving our craft and our art, I cannot address how you feel in regards to your own writing, and what improvements you would like to make to it: all I can say is that I understand what you mean about being humble (as a fan of rock operas based on….videogames….[see yesterdays’ blog by Wendy 🙂 ] I try not to sneer so much at others as I….probably would like). Yet, as I have stated (repeatedly) before, I do know my writing is of a certain quality, I will freely admit that factors into my perspective on the industry, and while I do not go out of my way to disparage other writers, genres, etcetera, I see no reason to display false modesty: to me, that’d be the same as lying. Especially when the only way to respond is to, after all, give an assessment of my own writing, which is, as I said, the only way to reply to the part of your post where you share some of your feelings on your own writing, by sharing my feelings about my own.
Though in regards to what I stated about agents representing both their client and the publisher, I didn’t mean to say that, for example, their business cards say, “Representative of Joe Schmoe, writer, and Random Penguin, publisher,” but rather their understanding of what their role entails involves doing just that. While it is often discussed in the context of doing what is best for the authors’ overall career, and I CERTAINLY do not suggest that agents are some nefarious, evil people out to do anything less than what they perceive to be the best for their client: all I state is that what many perceive to be the best publishing deal / agreement involves bringing the interests of the publisher into the equation. For some people, myself included as I have stated before, that seems to be a little strange and certainly is not standard practice in representation for clients in other industries.
Larry
Would like to correct a typo I made in the first paragraph, as it seriously alters the meaning of what I meant so say:
“….or that one can be valid while the other is as well in context.”
SHOULD have been:
“….or that it is impossible for one to be valid with the other in context.”
To further clarify:
I meant to state that two different perspectives do not automatically preclude one another. I can view the process writers have to go through as absurd and demeaning, while Elissa can view it is a challenge to become the best writer she possibly can be.
…..Of course, it does help that is my view as well, so naturally I would agree with it, which might detract from it being an overall objective philosophic princple…. 🙂
Larry
“….which might detract from it being an overall objective philosophic princple….”
….in the context of finding objective principles / standards of resolving differences of opinion or perspective that result from a combination of both the faults of imperfect communication as falliable beings, and that of honest difference in perspectives.
Yeesh…..when my footnotes start to have footnotes, then I definitely start to get the “Tower of Babel” feel…..
Matt Law
I totally get this. When you’re a perfectionist you always have a list a mile long. I think we writers feel like there are so many queries out that we don’t dare send it until we have a bigger platform, tighter query, and reviewed the proposal by 10 proof readers.
How on earth do you know when you’re good enough to get an agent. I borderline on waiting to long. This is a great post for me to do my best, but them put myself out there. Thanks for sharing!
Jan Thompson
Not sure if this helps but Mary Keeley had a post in December about MS readiness (hope it’s OK to link it here):
“Is Your Manuscript Ready to Submit?”
https://booksandsuch.com/blog/is-your-manuscript-ready-to-submit/
I’m with you on the perfectionism thingy (I was thinking aloud in my comments below that perhaps an editor can put an end to perfectionism by just telling a writer to stop “fixing it” and just hit send LOL).
Jan Thompson
After I hit “send” I have 30 seconds to hit “undo” in my email program. Thirty seconds to decide to withdraw my query, and go rewrite the entire MS for the 100th time.
I’m beginning to think that the only way I’d stop rewriting a finished MS is to find a really superb editor who can tell me right away whether my MS is ready to leave the nest and fly. Otherwise, I will perpetually re-edit every scene. I forget I’m not writing an epic tome LOL.
Mindy
I have never sent a formal query, but I have entered my MS in a contest, and pitched the idea to an agent with the understanding that it wasn’t ready to sell but that I wanted their feedback. Difficult is an understatement. It took being loving pushed by others to put myself out there. And you know what? Both times I walked away encouraged.
Rachelle, your comment about possibly opening up to your future has struck a chord. Great encouragement on a snowy day! Thank you for this post.
Carole Lehr Johnson
Rachelle, your post could not have come at a better time for me. Only a few days ago did I force myself to press the ‘send’ button. I had stressed over my proposal to the point of driving my closest friend to distraction because she was helping me with it. I could not reach her one evening (she was seeing Les Miserables) for that last ‘go ahead and send it pep talk.’ So I made an executive decision and sent it. Talk about feeling ‘miserable.’ I wasn’t sure I had made the right decision or not. Finally, I asked myself the same question you mentioned,’Was my proposal ready to go?’ I convinced myself that it was and felt so much better. Now I wait! Thanks for your pep talk.
donnie nelson
I substitute the word “fetch’ for send – that way I know when I send something, I am really fetching some kind of response – good or bad.
It certainly keeps me grounded unless I’m catching a frisbee!
Gabrielle Meyer
I love this: “You are definitely opening yourself up to rejection, but you could be opening yourself up to your future, too.” When I decided to get serious about publication, one of the first articles I read was by Michael Hyatt and he said in the article that only a small percentage (I think he said 2%, but I can’t find the article right now) of people who try for publication a year actually get published. When I read that, I thought: “What are the odds I’ll get published, and is it worth the effort?” Then I realized, someone has to be the 2% – and if I believe I can do it, if I learn as much as I can, and work diligently, then it could be me. If I don’t hit send, if I don’t write that book, or query that agent, then no, I won’t get published. But, if I put myself out there and risk rejection, I could also be achieving my dream.
Marti Pieper
Can I relate? Absolutely. For my first collaborative project, I kept sending the author “final” draft and then “final final” draft ad infinitum.
But I’ve learned to stop editing at some point and hit that “send” button. Paralysis prevents movement. And I refuse to allow fear to paralyze my life or my writing.
Peter DeHaan
“Paralyzed” is an apt word to describe this dilemma. Though I have a few more months before query time, I feel the looming apprehension all ready.
Karen Hayes-Mitchell
I’m at this stage right now. I need to get my synopsis completed, then I’m ready to start querying. I’m scared to death. What if my letter isn’t good enough? What if my pitch sucks? What if my synopsis is boring? What if I’m just fooling myself, thinking that I can write? What if no agents want to represent me? What if I can’t find a publisher? What if I don’t sell any books? It goes on and on, everyday.
But, I will finish the synopsis and start sending. If I reach the end of my agent list and no one wants it, I will start on the publishers. If they don’t want it, I will self publish. All while working on book two. Then, book three. And just keep going.
Daisy
Thanks so much for this timely post. (Timely. Pun appropriate.)
I’ve got senditis sooo bad. My daughter joked about her (wannabe) writing career. “All my works in progress are in my head,” she said. That was too many years ago. It’s not funny anymore. All my works in progress are on my floppy disks. Yep. Floppies. A-drive, Zip Drive. And in the files and files of reorganized files on my desk.
This is the year I’m going to do it. I’ve heard several great sermons that remind me that God knew the end from the beginning. The end?
I know I have to get to the end before you can hit send. I know at least three of my books are reader-ready. And soon I’m going to be sender-ready.
Okay. You almost talked me into it.
Lyn said there’s nothing to it but to do it.
Yikes (in all caps, at least in my head.)
Thanks for letting me practice posting. Now I know I am on my way!
Inch by inch… post comment. Create blog. Post. Type :the end. Register for conference. Prepare to meet your manuscript maker…
I’m going to stop hovering over that send button now. I’m going to hit Post Comment.
Erich Penhoff
In response to another great blog I have to tell you a story, fitting the subject. In the days of paper manuscripts and boxes to mail them in, I did submit a manuscript to a publisher in Germany. This was during the times when young men(Iam old now)made their living in other countries. I was in Cyprus when I mailed it and did not expect too much of a result. Weeks and month had gone, I had been transferred twice to other countries, Lebanon & Israel. Seven years later I went home to visit for a R&R. I found two letters that were forwarded from my previous Command to my home. The powers that send me a paycheck every month had lost track where I was. So not worrying about it, not expecting any positive feedback I never followed up, it would have meant letter writing and waiting for a reply. So just hit the button and remember, you need no shipping boxes, no postage and you have e-mail to check back within a reasonable time. If you never try it you will never know. Forget the fear of rejection it is nothing personal, all you are is a e-mail code and a name.
Andrew Budek-Schmeisser
When I was teaching I saw this happen on exams (I tauught structural engineering).
Many of the kids would be so fixated on “getting it right” that they failed to see the purpose of the exam – to identify their weak spots for remedial work, NOT for judging them for eternity.
The rest of life, including writing, is like that as well. We don’t hit the “send” button for any other purpose than to learn how we might better do our appointed work, through the feedback (or lack of it!) that comes.
john howell
I have made every bonehead mistake one can make. Eventually things do go right. Thank you for the piece since it made the bonehead mistakes somehow feel like badges of experience. – John
Dan Erickson
I’ve always been fairly bold about hitting send. I sent out hundreds of song demos as younger man. When I started blogging and writing books a few years ago, I had very little fear. You see, I don’t really care what others think. I know I’m doing what I love. I know I’m writing books, poetry, and songs, with messages that can strengthen and inspire others. I know my basic writing skills are competent. Why would I fear? Besides, every “no” leads to an eventual, “yes!”
Michelle Goldstein
A post everyone can relate to. I keep telling myself I have nothing to lose. If we don’t press send or ask for what we want, we will NOT get a yes. No risk, no gain. Thanks for your blog.
Mercey Valley
Are you sure I didn’t write that letter?? 😉 It sums it up for me. Several months ago I worked out that waiting to be ‘perfect’ before you act is like waiting for the right climate when the climate is constantly in a state of flux.
The right time is NOW.
Step out and find out (another brilliant one-liner).
I read this week in Bear Grylls’ autobiography the BEST statement. If you want something but don’t go for it or put a plan into action, all you’re doing is wishing.
Every writer should own a Nike T-shirt. Just Do It.
Chance Scoggins
This is one of my favorite posts you’ve ever written, Rachelle. Anytime we can affirm that it’s NORMAL to be afraid – and that we’re not above it ourselves – we do a service to ourselves a everyone around us. Thank you for being transparent.
For those of you who know of bestselling author, Andy Andrews, I interviewed his manager and new author, Robert D Smith, about this very subject. He says we can banish the fear and sting of rejection forever. I told him I don’t believe him. Here’s his response.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWjiAjZLtj4
Elizabeth Jones
Obviously you hit a tender spot in all our hearts. I’m amazed at all the responses so early in the am. of course I’m out on the west coast. Nice to know across the states we are not alone in these feelings as we work though to the goal for which we are called.
Sharyn Kopf
This discussion reminds me of Back to the Future. When Marty went back to his father’s high school days, he discovered George liked to write science fiction. But when Marty encouraged him to do something about it, George balked. He said, “What if they read it and tell me I’m no good? I don’t think I could handle that kind of rejection.”
Fortunately for George, Marty changed the past and the result was a stronger, more confident George who went on to become a published author.
We’re all afraid of rejection. It’s a natural part of being a writer. But since no one’s going to go back in time and change our past, it’s up to us to hit send and trust God has a plan for our future.
beryl singleton bissell
Hit send! That means “stop the tinkering,” as well. Wise up, Beryl. Thanks Rachelle.
Marilyn Read
As always Rachelle holds up truth. I am there right now. Four novels in varying stages of completion, with two polished and edited. It is the query that holds onto me with icy fingers. I have set a deadline: I will send it on that day–I think!
Leanne Bridges
What a great post.
I like that you point out most of us have a peppy response to our internal fears, but that – while there is certainly a time and a place where these are just what we need to keep us going – there are times when the removal of fear or the lifting of spirits is not what is required. What is required is for us to take action. And that if we take a step back, really, the fears are justified. But there are so many feelings and opinions in life that are justified but not at all helpful to our happiness and success.
Great blog.
Thanks.