Blogger: Rachelle Gardner
There’s plenty of advice out there about how to make the most of a conference. But what about those of us who are introverts? We may have trouble even wanting to attend a conference, let alone making the most of one! Potential for awkward social situations is around every corner. Oh, how we envy our extrovert friends! Are there any special tips for people like us?
Well, yes, there are. Here are a few ideas to make your conference experience less painful and… dare I say… even fun!
1. Change your mindset from “me” to “them.”
You’re at the conference to learn and to network, but paradoxically, the best way to do that is to focus on the needs of others. Set your own discomfort aside, and look for others who may also be uncomfortable, and see how you can make things easier for them. Even if you’re talking with an agent or editor, focus on them instead of yourself. Ask questions about their experience. See if there’s anything they need. This is one of the best ways for an introvert to get out of their shell.
2. Research before the conference.
If there are authors, editors, or agents you’re interested in talking with, Google them ahead of time to get some ideas for possible topics of conversation. They won’t seem like total strangers, and you won’t feel like an idiot in trying to have a conversation.
3. Reach out before the conference.
There may be some people to whom you can send a quick email or Facebook message, inviting them to coffee, asking if they’d like to sit with you at a meal, or otherwise planning ahead for some of your social interactions. This is especially important if you’ve had online communication with people but don’t know them offline. You’ll feel more comfortable if you have some planned meetings with others.
4. Have some questions or opening lines ready.
Think through the range of people you will likely meet, and write down a number of conversation openers that will help you overcome any awkwardness when meeting someone. Try to avoid yes/no questions, and make sure you listen carefully to the answers, which will give you clues for continuing the conversation. Some possible conversation-starters:
- What’s your favorite part of the conference so far? (Or, what are you most looking forward to at the conference?)
- What brings you to this conference?
- What do you find most valuable about these conferences?
- What did you think of today’s keynote speaker?
- Can you tell me a little about your work?
5. Also, have some answers of your own ready.
Plan some concise and fascinating answers to questions like, “So, what do you write?” and “Tell me about yourself.” You don’t want to be tongue-tied at those moments!
6. Prepare your book pitch.
Make sure you’ve organized your thoughts about the book(s) you’re pitching, so you can easily give a 1 or 2 minute spiel when asked.
7. Approach it with a friend.
Make sure you and your friend encourage each other to talk to new people. Be each other’s wingman and moral support—DON’T use each other as a crutch and don’t just talk to each other. You each may know different people, so plan to introduce your friend to people you know, and she can do the same for you. You can also highlight each other’s accomplishments in a conversation.
8. Be a part of the conference.
Volunteer to help! A great way to overcome introvert tendencies is to put yourself in a place where people are coming to you for help or answers to questions. When you’re volunteering, be as friendly and outgoing as you can, allowing for serendipitous connections.
9. Rejuvenate yourself as needed.
If, as an introvert, you need solitude to get re-energized, plan time for this. Whether it’s quiet time in your hotel room, a half-hour in the hotel gym or a walk outside, make self-care a priority in your schedule.
Readers, anything to add? How do YOU make the most of conferences?
Photo by Alexandru Zdrobău on Unsplash
Andrew Budek-Schmeisser
I am sure not introverted;
bonhomie is what I seek,
but conference plans have been subverted
by an inability to speak.
Not many folks can finger-spell,
so perhaps it would be best
in the absence of ASL
to sling a whiteboard on my chest.
But wait a minute, hold the phone!
There is certainly a chance
to make my writing passions known
through interpretative dance,
so I’ll do a jig and click my tongue;
who says mute cannot be fun?
Maco Stewart
Thanks, Rachelle. Good advice.
Carol Ashby
Find an extrovert (like me) to hang out with some. We love introducing people to each other, and we aren’t shy about approaching strangers to start a conversation when there’s no one we know handy.
I started my working career testing as an INTJ, but within 4 years I’d flipped to an ENTJ because I had to make myself act like an extrovert to get my job done. Maybe I was a closet E when I tested I, but I think it more likely that having to function like an E at work made me comfortable enough that I actually became one.
Jeanne Takenaka
What great tips these are! I find that asking others about themselves gets them talking and takes the attention off of me. Having questions prepared in advance, and especially (as you said) listening actively can keep conversations going. And, when we show interest in others, they remember this and feel good about the time spent with us.
Kristen Joy Wilks
I’m an introvert, but strangely, I am my most extroverted at writer’s conferences and at Bible camp. I find that the long drive (the closest conferences to me are 3 hours and 6 hours away) to the conference by myself gets me charged up and ready to talk to people. Then the drive home helps me to process all the info I’ve learned. An audio book is nice, but just plain silence is also great!
Cindi Peterson
This is a wonderful list of tools for an introvert. I felt more hopeful as I read each one. I can see how these ideas would make a conference more fun. Thanks for writing this post. I can tell I will refer to it in different situations. Number nine (9) is especially important for me to remember and to give myself permission to practice. I can often tell when I need to withdraw for a bit to get my second wind. Now to go out and find a friend to attend conferences with!
Kathleen Denly
I was so surprised as I read this because I have used almost every one of these suggestions at some point or another to handle my conference nerves. I was most surprised to see the suggestion to prepare questions or conversation starters in advance because that was exactly what I did for my first 3 or 4 conferences, but I never knew anyone to do so. I even kept a cheat sheet in the binder I carried around with me so I could peek at it under the table at meals or just before sitting down to talk with an agent. Stress often makes my mind blank out so I knew I would never be able to remember the questions in the moment. The cheat sheet was a life saver in those moments. Now that I’ve attended over half a dozen conferences I don’t need it anymore.