Blogger: Rachelle Gardner
You remember pop quizzes in high school, right?
Today we’re having a pop contest.
It’s St. Patrick’s Day, and some people celebrate with parades and green beer. Here on the Books & Such blog, we’re going to celebrate by writing limericks.
Yep, you heard me. Limericks. (You know: a poem of five lines, with the first, second and fifth rhyming with one another and having three feet of three syllables each; and the shorter third and fourth lines also rhyming with each other, but having only two feet of three syllables.)
Here’s the contest:
- Write a limerick either about the writing life, or about St. Paddy’s Day. Or about whatever you want.
- Submit your entry in the comments to THIS post.
- ONE entry per person. Unless you make me laugh!
- Deadline is tonight, March 17th, 11:59pm ET.
- Books & Such clients can enter but are not eligible for the prize.
- I’ll announce the winner next week. It will simply be my favorite of the limericks submitted. Could be the funniest, the most clever, or best captures the writing life.
- Winner gets a 30-minute consultation phone call with me (can include an evaluation of a query or up to five pages of your work). Or you can choose a $20 Amazon gift card.
Come on, all you closet poets. Show us your stuff!
TWEETABLES
Join the fun and submit a limerick to our St. Paddy’s Day contest! Click to Tweet.
All you poets, head over to the blog and submit your St. Patrick’s Day limerick. Click to Tweet.
St. Paddy’s Day entertainment! Check out the limericks submitted in our contest. Click to Tweet.
Mark
There once was an Irish writer
Who’s keyboard got gradually quieter
Inspired by single malt
To complete plot without fault
The editing task became mightier
Curt David
Remember St. Patrick brought Good News
To Irish; so wear your greens (and blues)
He explained Trinity
With Shamrock, one in three
This day is MUCH MORE THAN drinking booze!
Jo
There was a new writer called Jo
who had too many books on the go,
Many styles are fun,
but I need to choose one,
please pick me and then I will know!
Heather
Our Patrick was born in August
At six months he’s quite robust
But on his name day
He’ll go out of his way
To celebrate with the lot of us.
(for my son).
Margaret
An Irish lass held in her fist
Her wishes and dreams on a list:
To publish a book,
To dance by the brook,
And to master the art of the kiss.
Teresa Tysinger
Margaret, this is GREAT! Haha….and sweet!
Margaret
Thank you!
Jeanne Takenaka
Well done, Margaret!
Margaret
Thank you!
Wendy L. Macdonald
Wonderful. ❀
Margaret
Thank you!
Shelli Littleton
Cute, Margaret!
Margaret
Thank you!
Angela K Couch
T’was the beginning of St Patty’s Day,
Hours of rewriting and editing underway,
She stopped to write a limerick,
Just one more gimmick
That may lead to being published someday. 😉
Tracey Solomon
There once was a writer named Tracey,
Who forgot corned beef cause life’s crazy.
She went to the grocer
Wearing shorts, sunglasses and lip gloss
Knowing buying Guinness and corned beef in slippers after carpool
Will make you look sauced
Unless, of course, you’re properly glossed.
Tracey Solomon
*no alcohol was consumed in the creation of that horrible limerick.
It is however true.
Jennifer Zarifeh Major
HAHAHAHA!
Jenni Brummett
This made me giggle, Tracey!
James Scott Bell
O’Gardner the agent? A wreck!
It was booze that he bought with his check.
Swaying home in the rain
He got hit by a train
Now he reps several angels on spec
Kristen Joy Wilks
Ha!
Jennifer Zarifeh Major
hahahaha!
Jeanne Takenaka
Laughed out lout at this one. Good one, Jim. 🙂
Margaret
Made me laugh!
Kristen Joy Wilks
There once was a girl from the boonies
Who wrote characters that were loonies
They’d eat all the pie
Then take to the sky
And float off like a bunch of baloonies
Kristen Joy Wilks
So…I do live in the boonies. Does anyone know where I live? It is not a specific place, rather a specific kind of place. Just wondering if anyone else out there uses this word besides my family.
Sheila King
Kristin,
Good question, but YES lots of people use boonies as short for boondocks. But. . . to actually live in the Boondocks you must speak Tagalog and refer to the remote area by the Bundok Mountains – somewhere near Luzon or the Philipines. Anyway – there are people on the other side of the world claiming that they also live in the Bundocks! or in their case the Bunnies (pronounced long U).
Kristen Joy Wilks
Here it is just used as a term for the woods or a remote area. It is a slang term that has morphed over time to mean something general rather than a specific location. So I live off in the forest away from town…and I don’t know how it is spelled, I just guessed, but I did know it was short for Bundocks…which would have given me a bit of a clue about the spelling if I’d thought about it, ha.
Nikki Fine
There was a young lady from Cork,
Whose poems were usually awk-
Ward; if they didn’t rhyme
(Which they did time to time)
Their scansion instead wouldn’t work.
🙂
Donna Earnhardt
LOL!!!
Sheila King
There once was a writer and bargainer
Who needed a critiquing pardner
She looked around much
Found “Books and Such”
And is now begging “Please, Rachelle Gardner”!
Jennifer Zarifeh Major
Ohhhhhh, GOOD!
Teresa Tysinger
The writer, she had but one wish,
to be on a best-seller list.
So she took time to edit,
rewrite and perfect it,
now cries, “Who wants to publish?”
Jennifer Zarifeh Major
Difficult, she is.
Writes poor Rachelle a haiku.
Good luck to all!
That, and I cannot get my brain around a limerick today!! Maybe later, after I have more Earl Grey.
Jeanne Takenaka
You’re too funny, Jennifer. And always a rebel, I see. 😉
Jennifer Zarifeh Major
I’ve been colouring outside the lines since 1st grade.
Jeffrey Schaefer
On St. Patty ‘ day, oh, what to wear?
No outfit can cover this hair.
I wax every day.
And groom every which way
But people still call me a bear.
Jeanne Takenaka
You got my juices flowing, Rachelle. Though I’m not sure they’re flowing the right direction.
Here’s my attempt:
Romance writers they are an odd breed
Sticking to one main creed
To make characters suffer
w\Without any buffer
Ending with kisses indeed
Jennifer Zarifeh Major
Love this!
Wendy L. Macdonald
Jeanne, this is great. ❀ I love the happy ending.
Shelli Littleton
🙂
Summer Kinard
For Saint Patrick, stores issue the call
To acquire a green tinted haul.
Let us not be dissembling:
There’s not much resembling
That ven’rable bishop from Gaul.
Jennifer Zarifeh Major
wow. Excellent.
Summer Kinard
Thanks, Jennifer.
Deborah
A writer’s life for me I said
I’ll write and write until I’m dead
Antagonists die
Protagonists sigh
And literary agents hide under their bed.
Wendy L. Macdonald
The protagonist despised the plot
and said writers are a nasty lot
for allowing their muse
to meddle and confuse
until the hero is ready to drop.
Thanks for the fun pop quiz, Rachelle. I avoid eye contact with my characters when I write mean scenes.
Blessings ~ Wendy ❀
Jenni Brummett
Love your description of avoiding eye contact with your characters, Wendy. So funny!
Shelli Littleton
Love. 🙂
Jeanne Takenaka
Fun, Wendy. and I avoid eye contact with my characters during mean scenes too. 😉
Monica Sharman
There once was a ravenous eater
possessing a new e-book reader.
She escaped to her nook,
gobbled book after book,
for nothing but good words could feed her.
Jenni Brummett
Fantastic, Monica!
Monica Sharman
Thanks, Jenni! Reading is my favorite part of the writing life. Katherine Paterson said she liked to call herself a writer because then she could read and call it work.
Margaret
I like this!
Shelli Littleton
Cute!!
Shelli Littleton
Ode to Movie Classics 🙂
When Mommy gets sick of the kitchen
Cause she’d rather write about hitchin’
My daddy takes over
With aid of ol’ Rover
And no one gets threatened a switchin’
Wendy L. Macdonald
Shelli, you made me laugh. I’d rather be writing about “hitchin'” than spending my time in the kitchen.
I wonder if Janette Oke writing that her main character rushed to set the table and fry up onions just before the husband arrived home (so he’d think she had supper was under control) was written from personal experience? I think of that line often. ❀
Shelli Littleton
Me, too, Wendy! I’d much rather be writing about hitchin’ than workin’ in the kitchen! Any day! 🙂 And I think I might be a lot like Janette Oke! 🙂 The girls have been watching Leave it to Beaver … June never left the kitchen. Have mercy!! 🙂
Jennifer Zarifeh Major
hahahahahhaa!!!
Shelli Littleton
🙂
Jeanne Takenaka
Shelli, I LOVE this. Nicely played. 🙂
Shelli Littleton
Thanks, Jeanne! 🙂
Linda Strawn
I’m getting a chuckle out of these limericks,
Attempted to write my own without gibberish.
But my brain hurts
Coming up with words
I’ll just keep reading yours for kicks.
Billie Jauss
There once was an agent named Rachelle
Who danced a jig while ringing a bell
She sang something silly
With her friendly goat Millie
Making her goat friendly books sell!
Heidi Gaul
There once was a writer of books
Who often received worried looks.
‘Tis my prose, don’t you see
That will take care of me
By ladder, by hook or by crook!
Donna Earnhardt
I like your play on words. Nicely done!
Melissa Buell
There was a girl who would be writing
But with her characters she was fighting
“Obey the outline
Or I’ll drink more wine,
And kill you off with much delighting.”
Janet Ann Collins
I write and I write and I write.
I might even stay up all night.
But selling a book
Requires a hook
To make any publisher bite.
Donna Earnhardt
fabulous!
Elaine Faber
My stories have black cats galore
They’re spilling right out the door
They make such good muses
With all six of their toeses’
And my readers keep asking for more
(Black Cat Mysteries from MindCandyMysteries.com)
Pamela Gossiaux
Dear Agent, A query I’ve written,
A story with which I’m quite smitten.
Heroine runs away,
Lover is in dismay!
Proposal? I’d like to send it in!
Darby Kern
A Scribbler once went for a ride,
On dear County Galway side,
He awoke from his bed,
With wee morning head,
And the feeling his brain cells had died.
uh… potato!
J.A. Sanders
Green beer a new writer did drink
while sitting for a few words to think
the verbs were not active
in fact they were passive
Rachelle might say this mess stinks!
Jill W
There was a writer named Jill.
She was known for her very strong will.
To publish a book
She needed a hook
And decided to go in for the kill.
Samantha
See little writer with face a ‘frowning,
Hunched over the PC; looks to be drowning.
Salty tears course down her cheeks,
For her MC died in four weeks.
“I killed him.” The horror is a ‘mounting.
Mary R. P. Schutter
There once was a writer from Maine
Who wrote limericks out in the rain.
She became quite upset
When her pages got wet
And said, “Writing can be such a pain!”
Donna Earnhardt
cute!
Mary R. P. Schutter
Thanks. I love limericks!
Dave Markell
There once was a writer named Dave
Who worked on his book like a slave
He thinks with promise it’s fraught
But perhaps it is not
Will he publish before seeing his grave?
Kit Tosello
There once was a sleep-deprived editor,
Who grew fangs sharp as a monster-like predator.
Her victim, a writer
Never thought she would bite her;
had no choice but to chuck pencil lead at her!
Donna Earnhardt
My booty has doubled in size
Cause I don’t get enough exercise
When this next draft is done
Guess I’ll go for a run —
After, of course, I revise!
Kit Tosello
Super cute!
Donna Earnhardt
Thank you! This was fun.
Norma Brumbaugh
Slowly they walk arm in arm
Hushed whispers speak sweet charm
Their hearts in love
Pure like a dove
Full joy now freed from all harm
John Wells
The night that Paddy Murphy died I never shall forget.
The Irish all got drunk, and some ain’t sober yet.
The things they did that night
Fill my heart with fear:
They took the ice off Paddy’s corpse and put it on the beer.